Nothing Like Us: Bangtan Boys
by BlanketBabe
Summary: Kim Taehyung had no intention of joining the idol company. But when a persistent producer scouts him out at his friend's audition, he suddenly feels compelled to at least try out. Little did he know that becoming an idol would change his life forever, and maybe even introduce him to the love of his life, Jeon Jungkook.
1. Chapter One: Begin

Chapter One: Begin

 _ **Taehyung's POV:**_

 _Just three more hours. Then I can go home and collapse._ The words continued to repeat in Taehyung's head as he stared at the clock ticking away slowly above his math teacher's head.

He should have known that staying up half the night practicing for his upcoming saxophone solo was a stupid decision, but his nerves had gotten the best of him. He knew that each performance was a chance to show his parents how, although music may not be the safest career choice, it was one that he was passionate about.

It had taken three years of dedication to the instrument for his father to begin seeing that Taehyung's dedication was paying off. He just couldn't see himself following what his family had set out for him, but if he couldn't find a way to support himself with music, it was simply going to stay a pipe dream.

"Kim Taehyung! Pay attention to us, not what's outside the window!"

He jerked his head up from where it had begun to sway down towards his desk. "I'm sorry, teacher. It won't happen again."

Focusing in on the math sets written out on the board, Taehyung managed to work through the rest of class without falling towards sleep again. The rest of the day passed in a foggy blur, with the thin teenager stumbling from class to class in his wrinkled grey uniform.

Leaving his final class, he could only think about gathering his younger brother, Jeongyu, and younger sister, Eunjun, from their classes so he could shepherd them home before taking a much needed nap. Slumping towards his locker, Taehyung didn't notice his best friend, Minjun, rocketing down the hall towards him until he was rapidly grabbed and spun in a circle.

"Tae! You have to come with me!" Minjun's face was sweaty and his breath was coming out in rasps as he doubled over to recover from his sprint down the hallway.

"Where are we going?" Tae asked in a grumble as he stuffed his unneeded textbooks into his locker, glancing back to make sure Minjun hadn't fallen over. His next door locker neighbor, the crabby girl who was always pissy when Tae's locker door was open just a little too wide, was glaring at Minjun as she packed to go home. The two boys waited for her to finish, watching her slam her locker aggressively as if to make a point before turning and stomping off into the crowd of students that were collectively trying to escape the high school.

"Well she's a peach, as always." Minjun slipped forward to lean against the newly slammed locker door. "There's an audition this Friday in the auditorium. How is it even possible that you didn't hear about it?"

Taehyung shrugged, "I've been busy. You know I have saxophone practice every day after school and homework hasn't exactly been easy to deal with either. How do you even have time to worry about stuff like this?"

Minjun laughed, his tone slightly mocking but mostly filled with amusement at Tae's naivety. "It's easy. This school has never, and will never, benefit me in any way. Who needs to know math when they can just be supremely rich from singing and dancing?"

"Oh, so it's an idol audition, then? Definitely count me out." Tae chuckled to himself as he slipped his arms into his backpack before taking off through the rapidly emptying hallway.

Minjun had been bugging Tae for months about his newly fabricated dream to become a K-Pop idol. It was becoming alarmingly obvious that his intentions were leaning more towards gaining the girls and money than a love for music and performance. But that was just Minjun, always discovering new ways in which he could impress girls, and he didn't exactly have a track record of doing so successfully.

Being slightly older than Taehyung, Minjun was considerably shorter and extremely thin. His latest hair cut, the standard bowl cut he always received from his no-nonsense mom, really highlighted his gaunt cheekbones and slightly sunken eyes. Tae couldn't say he wasn't attractive, but he wasn't exactly what anyone would have in mind when looking for the newest idol sensation.

"Are you serious? You've wanted to do music your whole life! How can you just pass up an opportunity like this?" Minjun whined unhappily, his already high voice squeaking into octaves Tae wished he would never have to suffer through again. "You can't tell me you aren't the least bit curious if they'll see some potential in you."

"Unless they're forming a group that desperately needs a saxophone player, I really don't care what any K-Pop production company has to say about me. Besides, why would you even be encouraging me to go when it just creates more competition for you?" Tae pushed forward through a crowd of loitering freshman, making his final break for the front doors of the school.

Minjun scrambled to keep up, bumping through people carelessly. "So you think you're competition, huh?"

'What? No. I just meant-" Tae stuttered out, his walk faltering and allowing Minjun to catch up long enough to wind their arms together so he wouldn't be left behind again.

"Fine, if you really aren't interested in trying out, at least come with me. I could use the moral support and you could use an hour away from that damn instrument."

Taehyung tried to think of an excuse as to why he couldn't go with him, but he knew bringing up his saxophone again would result in being shoved. That was when Tae spotted his younger brother waiting by the tree that served as their normal rendezvous point.

"Actually, I really can't go with you. I have to walk Jeongyu and Eunjun home that day." Tae said, pulling his arm out from Minjun's as they reached the tree as well. "Don't I, Jeongyu?"

The younger, dark haired boy looked up with a bored look in his eyes. "Yeah, sure. Whatever."

Turning towards Minjun with a shit-eating grin on his face, Taehyung threw his arm over his younger brother's shoulders. It didn't stay there for long, as Jeongyu slumped out of his reach almost immediately, but Tae's smile didn't falter. "Sorry, hyung. I simply can't allow two irresponsible, helpless children to travel home alone. They could get lost. Or stolen."

"I'm pretty sure you'd prefer the latter," Eunjun, his younger sister, squeaked out happily as she joined the three boys under the tree. "But I think you should go with Minjun-hyung. You work so hard on your practices, a few hours away won't kill you. Not to mention, Mom and Dad are going to have us busy with the fields anyway so you won't even be able to practice if you are home."

Minjun reached over and mussed his practically adopted little sister's hair, "Exactly! So it's settled. I'll meet you at your locker Friday afternoon and you can go with me like the supportive best friend that I know you are."

"But-" Tae started to argue, but quickly saw there was no point as he watched Minjun shoot finger guns at him before jogging off to bother his next victim. Sighing, he turned back to his siblings. "Let's go home before he decides I need to help him practice too."

* * *

"Taehyung is going to an audition on Friday!" Eunjun blurted out happily as she helped bring their mother's bibimbap to the small dining table nestled between the couch and front door.

Taehyung groaned internally as his mother and father both followed her to the table, carrying more bowls in their arms. His father settled fully into his chair between Taehyung and his mother before turning to his eldest son, "Oh? What's this audition for? I thought you said you had already been given a saxophone solo."

"I do have the solo. This isn't an audition for me, it's for Minjun. I was just going to go to show him support." Taehyung smiled kindly as his mother slipped into her seat last; Jeongyu had been impatiently seated at the table for twenty minutes, waiting for their dinner to be served.

"I think you should audition too! You've always wanted to be an idol!" Eunjun chittered happily around a mouthful of rice.

Taehyung was too embarrassed to look up from his bowl, but he heard his mother hush his sister before the table fell into silence.

His father was the first to speak again, "Did you want to audition?"

The question made Tae's head snap up. He knew how unreliable his father found the music industry and, while it was a nice thought, actually pursuing one's dreams is much riskier than it is rewarding. He watched his father's dark eyebrows, one's so similar to his own, rise up his forehead as he waited for a reply. _It's stupid to dream. I've already pushed him with the saxophone, that should be enough for me to be happy._

"Nah, I don't want to audition. Idols are stupid anyway."

* * *

By the time Friday rolled around, Taehyung has all but forgotten his promise to Minjun. Well, that was a lie; but he wanted to have forgotten about it. It was pretty impossible to do so with the other boy texting him about it at every possible moment.

 **Minjun:** so they said to have a song prepared bc they want to hear us sing

 **Minjun:** need ideas. Help?

 **Taehyung:** Idk, you only listen to rap. Pick something with that

 **Minjun:** no way, dude. girls never like the rappers!

Taehyung had scoffed at the last message and had refused to reply. The sooner Minjun's audition was over, the better. He did in fact hope that the older boy would get picked; Minjun had always been supportive of Tae's dreams. Well, the ones that he actually had the guts to pursue anyway. But he refused to acknowledge the real reason behind his attitude.

Minjun, as the maknae of his family, was babied to the point of being spoiled. His parents allowed him to do basically whatever he wanted, whenever was convenient for him. It was almost like raising his three older siblings had wore them out to the point of not wanting to fight with their final child over anything. He had no idea how good he had it.

Taehyung was sure Minjun's mother had jumped at the opportunity to give Minjun a leg up on the competition, and his suspicions were confirmed when the shorter boy came walking out of the school bathroom wearing an entirely brand new outfit.

"What, your other clothes weren't good enough for the two minutes these people are going to see you?" Tae tried his best to keep jealousy from coloring his tone, but it was hard. The last time he had received new clothes was when his last growth spurt had made his school uniform unwearable; you know, two years ago. He was pretty sure that uniform now belonged to Eunjun.

Minjun had the grace to look embarrassed and didn't say anything in response. He knew how little money there was to go around in the Kim household. But it never became a point of contention in their friendship because he, despite having the opportunity to have become a pompous asshole, has been humbled by not fitting in with the popular kids.

 _Way to be a dick, Tae. Let's try to not shatter his confidence ten minutes before his audition._ Tae shook his head to pull his dark brown bangs into his eyes before throwing his arm over the other boy's shoulders. "You look great, man. They're going to be so impressed with how hot you are, they won't even need to see you sing."

Minjun grinned at the compliment before reaching over to punch Tae in the stomach lightly. "That's fucking gay, dude. But you're totally right."

Luckily, he didn't see the dark look pass over Taehyung's face as they wound through the empty, sterile hallways of the high school on their way to the auditorium. Tae couldn't help himself as the words " _That's fucking gay"_ repeated over and over in his mind.

* * *

The auditorium was packed with teenagers, eagerly awaiting their turn to be called forward by the short, pudgy man standing on the stage with a microphone. Some were in uniforms, Tae was surprised to even see some from neighboring high schools, and some had chosen to change into street clothes like Minjun had.

"If you are just arriving, I ask you to come to the front of the stage and turn in your parent permission form along with your audition form. Please also be prepared to provide an ID to the person taking down your information. Now I would like #37, Lee Jintao, to please follow me back stage." The man spoke loudly over the auditorium speakers.

 _There has to be over 200 people here_ , Tae thought to himself as he followed Minjun down the center aisle towards the line of kids waiting to reach the fold-out table at the front of the room. _This is going to take so much longer than a single hour._

"If you don't want to stand in line with me, you can go grab us a few seats. I'll come find you once I'm checked in." Minjun spoke loudly into Tae's ear in order to be heard, waving his filled out sheets of paper in the air as he did it.

The older boy's lips brushed across Tae's earlobe as he spoke, sending a flash of something strange through his body and causing fear to pool in the bottom of his stomach. Tae jerked back violently, trying to ignore the questioning look on his best friend's face as he stepped towards the quickly filling rows of seats. "Sure thing, meet you over here when you're done."

Finding an empty row of seats towards the back of the room, Tae slung his backpack off his shoulder and fell into one of the hard, wooden seats. _What the fuck was that? This cannot be happening again; not with Minjun. I can't deal with this right now; but I also can't get rid of him like I did with the last one. He's my best friend; how is this even-_

"Excuse me."

Tae jerked at the voice, allowing himself to be pulled from his mental breakdown before it really went downhill. He was surprised to see a man only a few years older than him, standing over him with a clipboard in his hand and a bluetooth headphone (like what Tae assumed important businessmen in Seoul wore) in his ear.

He was struck by how attractive the man was. He had a strong jaw and high cheekbones; his hair was swept back from his forehead and had been streaked with honey highlights that somehow made his tan skin glow healthily. Even his clothes, which consisted of what Tae could only assume was the latest street fashion in Seoul, hung on his frame in a way that Tae's clothes never had.

Tae knew he was ogling the guy, but he just couldn't bring himself to care quite yet. No one he'd ever met looked as cool and attractive as this guy did. He knew why it had hit him so hard, but he wasn't prepared to admit it to himself so he shook his head and smiled up at the man as nonchalantly as he could. "Yeah?"

The man smiled back eagerly, as if something had been confirmed for him. Tae couldn't help but notice that he liked the guy even better when he smiled. "Hi, sorry, I was wondering if you were planning to audition."

"Oh," Tae's face fell. Now he understood, he was taking up space and the guy was clearly just here to tell him he wasn't welcome if he wasn't here to try out. "No, I'm not. A friend just asked me to come with him but I didn't realize there would be so many people here; I'll go so you can have the seat."

He stood up, shouldering his backpack and bowed to the man slightly before beginning to walk out of the auditorium. It was unexpected, and jarring, when the man sprung forward and grabbed ahold of Tae's arm. "No! I wasn't telling you to get out! I was asking because, if you aren't here to audition, you really should reconsider. You're exactly what we're looking for."

Forgetting his manners, Taehyung laughed humorlessly before shrugging out of the way-too-attractive man's grasp. He had heard about this happening to people, but he had never experienced it in Daegu. "I appreciate it, but I'm really not looking to get scammed into a fake modeling career. I'm sure you can find some other willing kid around here."

It was then that he noticed the lanyard hanging around the man's neck; it had his staff picture and said "Big Hit Entertainment" across the top. He had suddenly noticed it because the guy was holding it out to him as he had spoken, realizing quickly that Tae clearly thought he was poaching on the innocent kids who were there to audition for the idol company.

"I'm with the company everyone is here to audition for and I promise that we're legit."

Tae blushed and shifted his weight, "Oh, I'm sorry. I've just heard of these things happening and them being fake and… Nevermind. I'm really sorry."

The guy grinned, "Hey, it's okay. It happens all the time." Tae realized how relieved he felt at seeing the smile return to the man's face and blushed even darker before shaking his bangs forward to hide behind them. "So why aren't you auditioning…?"

He waited a second, clearly waiting for the high schooler to tell him his name. When Taehyung did, the smile grew even wider. "Well Taehyung, you should really try out. Do you have any musical inclination? I really think you're exactly what we're looking for."

This puzzled Tae. How could the guy know that he was what they wanted if he didn't even know if he could perform in any capacity. When he brought the thought up, the guy looked at him like he was crazy.

"Are you kidding? Three-fourths of what we look for is visual and you would be a total fan favorite."

Taehyung didn't know what to say to that; but he knew it made him feel embarrassed coming from someone who was clearly more attractive than he was. He shrugged as though it didn't phase him, "I didn't get a form signed by my parents. Isn't that required since I'm underage?"

The man, who Tae realized was called Doyun based on his ID lanyard, pondered a moment before throwing up his index finger in the "one second" position. Tae watched as he jogged off through the auditorium, disappearing into the backstage area.

 _What am I even doing waiting around? I don't actually want to audition; do I? I haven't prepared anything and it's not like I'll be chosen anyway._ Yet something about how the man had approached him out of the blue, choosing him out of all the other people in the room, gave him hope.

He only had to wait a few minutes for Doyun to reappear with a grin on his face that sent tingles through Taehyung's cheeks. "Okay, instead of having the permission slip signed, I've arranged it to where we can get a phone confirmation. But keep in mind, if you get through this audition and it turns out it wasn't your actual parent that I talked to, it will make me look pretty awful."

Tae felt himself blush as Doyun nudged him with his shoulder, grinning cheekily at the last comment. He didn't say anything; he just nodded, took out his small, outdated phone, and keyed down to his father's contact.

Part of him hoped that his dad wouldn't pick up, but to his chagrin, there were only two rings before he could hear his father's deep voice on the other end of the line. "Yes, Taehyung? Is everything alright?"

Turning his back to Doyun, Tae licked his lips nervously and gripped the phone to his ear with both hands. "Yes, dad, everything is fine. You remember how I said I was going with Minjun-hyung to that audition?"

"Yes, I remember." The response was clipped but not angry; his father just seemed to be expecting something, though he wasn't sure what that could be.

"Well there's a guy here- a man here, who came up to me and wants me to audition too. I guess badly enough that instead of getting a signed permission form, he said they're willing to just talk to you over the phone. So, I guess I'm asking if you'll talk to them and give me permission to try out." It all came spilling out of Taehyung like word vomit, but he was careful to keep his voice down so the supremely attractive production assistant wouldn't hear him.

There was a pause on the other end of the line; it took so long for his father to answer that Tae had to check the screen of his phone to confirm that he was even still on the line. Finally, the deep, muffled voice said, "Of course, Taehyung. You can audition. Hand me over so I can give official permission."

"Really? Wow. Thank you, dad. Um, here you go, I'm handing you over." Shakily, he stretched the phone out to Doyun, who was patiently waiting a few feet away. Only after he had taken the phone and began to explain the audition process to Tae's father, did Tae allow himself to let out the breath he had been holding.

 _This is nuts! I'm going to audition for an idol band? I used to dream of being a part of Big Bang! Okay, let's be honest; I dreamed of being in Girls Generation.. I don't know if they'll choose me or anything, but I can't believe I get to try. I just need to get in there and sing my song- wait, I don't have a song picked-_

"Alright!" Doyun clapped his hands together, though it was an awkward clap since he was still holding the phone Tae had handed him minutes before. "I talked to your father and we are all set. So follow me."

Tae started to question Doyun's decision to pull him past the line of students waiting to sign up for the auditions, but upon realizing how long the line was getting, he decided to keep his mouth shut and consider himself lucky. At this rate he would actually be home before dark, something it seemed many others wouldn't be able to say.

He looked around for Minjun, hoping to somehow silently signal to him that he was sorry for abandoning him, but he was unable to spot him before he was led behind the stage curtains to the hallway that ran behind the stage.

They walked briskly through the brightly lit hallways until they reached a door that had a small line built up outside of it. Taehyung didn't recognize any of the three boys that stood patiently awaiting their turn to enter the audition room; and he was glad he didn't when Doyun pulled him swiftly, and rudely, past the boys and into the room.

Taehyung recognized the room but only as a place he had seen the school dance team practicing, not as a place he had ever entered. He did not, however, recognize the three men sitting behind a fold out table at the other end of the wide room. Therefore he was surprised when the one in the middle, with deep enough eye crinkles to assume that he smiled often, said his name. "Kim Taehyung."

"Y-yes, sir. That's me." Tae looked to Doyun for help only to realize he had disappeared out the door and left him completely alone. "Thank you for making an exception for me to audition. I really didn't have any plans to try out for this or I would have-"

"Ah, don't worry about it. You're here now. My name is Bang Sihyuk, so we have all pleasantries out of the way. So tell me, Taehyung, how old are you and what talents do you possess that would make you an asset to the team?" The man smiled kindly at Tae in encouragement.

The teenager tried to not pay attention to the camera perched on a tripod behind Mr. Bang's head; but it was hard considering how accusatory the blinking, red light was that told the boy it was recording his every move. "Well- I'm 17 years old. As for talents… I'm not exactly sure what I do that would be of much use to an idol band. I play the saxophone mostly-"

"Can you sing? Dance? Rap? All of the above?" The man's smile had faltered somewhat at Tae's answer as if he wasn't very impressed with what he was hearing.

 _God, you're an idiot. You're supposed to be selling yourself, not telling him how lame and unuseful you are. Get a fucking grip._ "Actually, I have been told I can sing, but-"

"Fantastic! Sing something for us." Mr. Bang said happily before settling back in his chair. One of the men that sat next to him at the table raised an eyebrow at Taehyung, which immediately made Tae break out in a cold sweat.

 _Just sing something? Is he crazy? I can't just- No. Just do it. Be someone else for once. If you want this…_ It was the first time Tae actually thought about what he was doing. Did he actually want this? To be in an idol band and everything that came with it? If he got in, his whole life would change. He'd have to move away from his family, presumably stop his schooling, and be thrust into a limelight he'd never experienced in his life. Yet, despite how terrifying it all sounded, his stomach was rolling with excitement rather than fear.

Refusing to allow himself to hesitate, Tae's voice rang out a few verses of his current favorite indie song. He fought the urge to close his eyes as he sang, wanting the chance to observe Mr. Bang and the other two producers as they listened. Maybe he would be able to tell his chances of passing through just by watching their expressions. By the time he came to the end of the verse, where he hoped it was acceptable to stop since he couldn't remember any more of the words, Mr. Bang was sitting forward in his seat with a giant grin on his face.

"Well, Kim Taehyung, you should definitely talk to your parents when you get home. You'll probably need more than permission over the telephone to come visit us in Seoul."

 _ **Namjoon's POV:**_

Pushing the door to the dorm open with his shoulder, Namjoon shuffled into the tiny living room with Jin in tow. He grunted as he allowed the bags of groceries that he carried to slip from his arms onto the couch next to Yoongi's sleeping form.

"Damn it, Yoongi. Get up and help us!" Jin griped as he shoved the younger boy's shoulder hard enough that he woke up with a gasp. "Oh, you're awake! What fantastic timing-"

Namjoon didn't hear the rest of Jin and Yoongi's bickering as he slipped down the hall to the room the five boys shared. He wasn't surprised to see Hoseok standing on the mattress of his own bottom bunk so he could see over the edge of the top bunk; he also wasn't surprised to see the inhabitant of the top bunk's eyes light up at the thought of someone coming to rescue him from Hoseok's incessant talking.

Trying not to smile, Namjoon cleared his throat to interrupt Hoseok as kindly as he could. "Hey guys, come help with dinner."

"Okay!" Hoseok bounded out of the room immediately, slapping Namjoon's back playfully as he went.

Now allowing himself to smile, Namjoon crossed to the bunk where the youngest member still lay. He only thought for a moment before inviting himself up the ladder and into the bed with him; Namjoon tried to not notice how the younger boy stiffened at the close proximity.

Settling cross-legged at the foot of the bed, he let out a sigh. "You're going to have to get used to Hoseok. And really all of us. We're touchers, Jungkook. You've gotta get used to that."

Just as Jungkook went to reply, Namjoon's phone beeped loudly, startling them both. He patted Jungkook's leg in apology as he pulled it out to check it.

"What is it?" Jungkook asked quietly as he watched Namjoon's face break into a smile.

"It looks like they passed someone through the audition in Daegu today. There was only one, but Mr. Bang says he's someone really special."

 _And hopefully someone my age._ Jungkook thought to himself wistfully as he followed Namjoon down the ladder and out into the now lively living room.


	2. Chapter Two: No More Dream

_**Taehyung's POV:**_

Somehow he knew that his father wouldn't exactly be happy when he got home.

It had been an awkward walk home considering Minyun was still aghast that Taehyung had gone through with an audition he hadn't even been interested in. And Tae didn't know how to tell his best friend that he had automatically been offered a chance to visit Seoul for the follow up audition; especially since Minyun had received no such offer. Something about the whole situation made the dark haired boy feel like he had betrayed his friend and had maybe even stolen his dream. It really didn't matter that the dream was centered around getting laid earlier than their college years; he had still completely stomped all over what was supposed to be Minyun's big moment.

Therefore, Tae already wasn't feeling too impressed with himself when he walked into his small, untidy living room only to find his parents sitting silently on the couch together. He noticed that his younger siblings were nowhere in sight, which was never a good sign.

His father was the first to speak, as always, his knuckles turning white from the effort of clenching his own knees. "Taehyung, I think you should come sit with us for a moment."

Taehyung reluctantly did what he was asked, trying to undo his recent growth spurt to 5 feet 10 inches by shrinking into the armchair across from the couch. He knew better than to talk first. So he waited the torturous minutes until his mother cleared her throat and finally looked up from the section of floor she had been glaring at.

"I guess I just don't understand what happened today." Her voice was clipped and it took Tae a moment to realize that her anger wasn't only directed at him. His father was also apparently on her shit-list for the day and that was really unheard of in the Kim household. His parents had always acted as a steady front; nothing that one said ever contradicted with the other. He couldn't even remember any bickering between them, much less an actual fight.

Tae shuffled his feet back and forth on the carpet and chewed a hangnail on his thumb. His mother sighed unhappily and looked between the two men sitting in front of her. "If you knew you wanted to try out for this _music_ group." She said the word 'music' with air quotes. "Then why didn't you ask for permission prior to going. Or was it all just a ploy to back your father into a corner so he couldn't refuse you?"

He shook his head vigorously, "No, mom, I wouldn't do that. I really didn't plan on auditioning, but Doyun said I had something they were looking for and I got excited. I didn't expect for them to pass me through-"

"They what? You got through to the second audition?" Tae's father burst out loudly, startling his wife and son with his enthusiasm. It was only when he caught himself being glared at by his wife that he pulled himself back and shook his head. "I mean, I really didn't appreciate being put on the spot like that. I have no interest in embarrassing you, but you also can't strong arm me about decisions as big as this."

 _That wasn't what I was doing. But I guess I see where they're coming from. Just wait until they find out that to move on in the audition process I have to go to Seoul.. There's no way they'll ever let me go._

As if reading her son's mind, his mother's eyebrows shot up. "And where will this second audition take place? Because I looked up this _Big Hit Entertainment company_ and they're based in Seoul." When he didn't answer, she scoffed and pushed off the couch to pace the few feet between the front door and the couch. "Well I'm very sorry to say this, Taehyung, but you know we simply can't allow you to just go traipsing through the biggest city in Korea.

"Even if we were willing to allow our 17 year old to do that, which we definitely aren't, there's no way we could afford the trip there, room and board, food, and the trip back. So I'm very sorry but you're just going to have to tell them no."

Taehyung felt a lump rise up in his throat. Of course he had expected this exact reaction; hell, he had even anticipated that money would be a very prominent factor in why he couldn't go. But a small part of him had held out hope. And as we all know, hope is way more painful than an initial let-down. So he nodded sadly before rising to his feet, muttered that he understood, and slipped down the hallway to the bedroom he shared with Jeongyu.

Luckily, his younger brother, being fourteen and all, wasn't in the mood to talk. So Tae yanked his school uniform off and shoved himself into his weekend sweatpants and oversized t-shirt before crawling into bed. He tried to block out the fact that across the house, he could hear his parents fighting with each other. The first fight Tae had ever heard them have in his entire life, and it was all his fault.

* * *

 **Minjun:** Come on, Taetae. You've got to talk to me at some point.

 **Minjun:** I'm really not mad, dude. I'm actually pretty much over the idea of being an idol anyway.

 **Minjun:** I've heard the ladies love a man in uniform so now I'm considering signing up for the military early.

 **Minjun:** Come on, that stupid idea isn't even going to get a response?

 **Minjun:** If you need to talk or whatever, I'm here for you.

 **Minjun:** No homo :P

Taehyung had tried to forget about the audition, but by the time the next Friday rolled around, he felt himself growing more and more anxious about the whole thing. Mr. Bang's assistant had left three calls already, making Tae even more glad he had only given the company his personal cell phone number instead of the family house phone. He knew he should just call them back and reject the offer, but there was a part of him that was still holding out hope that his parents would change their mind.

When he finally slumped through his front door, followed closely behind by his younger siblings, he was ready to curl up in bed and pass through the weekend like a zombie. But the universe had other plans to distract Taehyung.

"Halmoni! What are you doing here?" Eunjun shrieked into Tae's ear as she barreled past him to all-but-tackle their grandmother who was seated calmly on the couch.

The old woman chuckled and hugged Eunjun back tightly before turning her crinkled smile on Taehyung. "I'm here to see Taehyung, little one. But I brought you some snacks; they're in the kitchen." Knowing this served as her dismissal, Eunjun pecked their grandmother on the cheek before loping into the kitchen. Not surprisingly, Jeongyu had already disappeared down the hall and into his bedroom.

Uneasy about why his grandmother would be visiting solely for him, Taehyung dropped his school bag in an armchair and reluctantly joined his favorite family member on the couch. He had practically been raised by his grandmother, spending every day with her as a child when his parents went out to work their fields. He usually felt more comfortable with her than anyone, except for Minjun, but his current predicament had caused unease in all of his relationships and this one seemed to be no different.

"Hello, halmoni. How was your trip?"

"My trip was fine, young one. Your grandfather says hello and he's sorry he couldn't come with me this time." Tae nodded in acknowledgement, but, rather than meeting her eyes, he found himself staring down at this hands. There was a few seconds of silence before his grandmother reached forward to clasp his hands in her own. "So I hear that you were scouted for an idol group. But you don't seem as excited as I would have expected."

Taehyung took a shaky breath before meeting her gaze, "There's really no point in being excited about something that isn't going to happen. We both know that Mom and Dad are never going to let me go; they've already told me they wouldn't." Normally he would never speak so informally to an older family member, but he was so bitter about the whole situation that he couldn't bring himself to care how rude and juvenile he sounded.

"Well…" He expected her to scold him. Something he would have definitely deserved under the circumstances. It had taken months to convince his parents that playing the saxophone in the school jazz band was worthwhile; and that had only been allowed when they realized it wouldn't take away any time from his normal studies if Tae worked hard enough. _Why can't I just be happy with what I have?_

"I suppose I must ask you, why did you try out if you weren't willing to fight for what you wanted?" Tae's head snapped up at the question. He was surprised to find his grandmother smiling slyly, a mischevious twinkle in her eyes. "What's that old saying? The best things in life are worth fighting for? Is this career path, and all that comes with it, worth fighting for, Taehyung?"

 _Is it? Or am I just so dazzled by the possibility of being famous that I haven't even really thought about what it entails?_ Moving away from his family would undoubtedly be the hardest thing he'd ever have to do. He was only seventeen after all. But, if he made it into the group and the group became a sensation… He could travel home often, or even bring his family to Seoul to see him. The money alone was reason to try. _Heaven knows my family could use it. I could help put Jeongyu and Eunjun through university._

 _But I won't be in school anymore. Would they let me finish my education?_ That would surely be a deal breaker for his parents. And he would have to leave behind Minjun, something he hadn't done since he'd met the boy in second grade. And, even though this was a rough patch in their relationship, Taehyung really was close with his parents when they weren't at odds with each other.

Yet, even with all of that weighing heavily on his mind, he couldn't help it. He really wanted this. Looking up at his grandmother, who had been watching him go through his silent monologue, he nodded solemnly. "Yes, halmoni. I think it is."

* * *

He wasn't exactly sure what was said.

But the next morning, when Tae stumbled half-asleep into the living room, his mother hugged him tightly to her chest before pushing him out at arm's length to inspect his face. She must have liked what she saw there, because she pulled him back to her chest and stroked his hair lovingly. "Alright, Taehyung. If this is really what you want, we'll make it happen."

Over her shoulder Tae could see his father and grandmother exchange a secret smile before turning back to their breakfasts. It seemed as though things were going to work out after all.

* * *

The morning of Tae's second audition is chaos in the Kim household.

His parent's had called the Big Hit office to discuss the next audition with Mr. Bang's assistant a few weeks ago. His mother wasn't super thrilled with the fact that the audition had to take place on a weekday in Seoul, but she had allowed it so as to not hurt Tae's chances by being an argumentative mother.

So it was seven in the morning on a Tuesday that Tae watched his mother fly around the house, gathering the things he and his father would need on their trip to the capital city. He was already seated on the couch, waiting for his father to shephard him out the door and towards the train station as soon as he could break away from his anxious wife. Looking down at himself, he wondered once again if he should change clothes to something more formal.

Taehyung had spent many nights with Minjun, contemplating what he should wear to the second round of auditions. The woman on the phone had told Tae's mother that the audition would not only entail singing, but would now include a dancing portion; therefore the two teenage boys had taken that to mean looser clothes would be better for movement. But now Tae was second guessing himself again as he looked down at his black, oversized t-shirt and black basketball shorts. He knew what the street fashion was like in Seoul; mostly from magazines and the internet, but still. He just didn't have anything in his own wardrobe that would suffice.

Shaking his head, he scolded himself for caring about the clothes when showcasing his talent was way more important. Unfortunately, that only spun him further into anxiety. While he had been singing as a hobby for years, dancing was an entirely new activity for Taehyung. He could only hope that he had some natural grace that would lend itself to dancing when he really needed it.

"Alright, Taehyung. We need to get going." His father clasped him on the shoulder as he walked towards the front door. He was clearly trying to get out the door quickly before his wife could think of something else to nitpick. "We're going to miss the train if we don't hurry."

Tae stood up, trying to ignore the nervous gurgling in his stomach as he pulled his school backpack (now filled with a change of clothes and a water bottle) onto his back. He had almost made it out the door with his father when he was pulled backwards into a hug.

"You're going to do fantastic. Show them how talented and amazing you are." His mother kissed his forehead softly before shoving him towards the open door. "Take care of your father. He always gets lost in Seoul."

* * *

When the two men reached Dondaegu station, it was already bustling with morning commuters. Taehyung latched onto his father's backpack so he wouldn't get lost in the large crowds of people who seemed to know their way around the station much better than the Kims did. After a small struggle, they found their train and boarded it without issue, settling into their assigned seats only minutes before it was scheduled to take off.

Tae went to put his headphones in to pass the time, but noticed his father staring at him and decided against it. As the train began to move, the older man smiled down at his son. Tae tried to see himself as his parents must have seen him. Once scrawny and pale as a child, the seventeen year old was now lanky due to his recent growth spurt and slightly golden from spending the entire summer working outside. He wondered if they would ever see him as a man, although he still had a few years to get there.

"Are you ready for your audition?" His father had always seemed so lively and sure of himself, but Taehyung could now see the wrinkles and fatigue in his face now that they were slipping away from Daegu at a quickening pace. It seemed that the man was letting himself relax a bit, something that he didn't seem to do at home where his younger children and wife could see him. Noticing his father's vulnerability and exhaustion for the first time, Taehyung became determined to nail his audition. Anything to take some of the pressure to provide off of his father.

"I'm ready."

* * *

The meeting place for the audition was pretty sketchy. It was an abandoned looking building in the middle of a street lined with equally abandoned-looking buildings. The only thing that gave any indication to the Kims that they were in the right place was the small white, printed sign in the window that read BIG HIT ENTERTAINMENT. The two men looked at each other before pushing the darkly tinted glass door inward.

Inside the studio was like a completely separate world. They had walked into what clearly served as the waiting room for the building, as there was a small, plump woman sitting behind a desk in the middle of the brightly lit room. Behind her was a hallway that led to what looked to be a dance studio based on the shiny, wooden floors and walls lined with mirrors. Taehyung noticed that they were the first one's to arrive. And their early arrival was clearly a shock for the woman behind the desk as well.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" She sounded slightly hauty as she looked Taehyung and his father up and down. Tae tried to ignore the feeling of shame he felt when she didn't seem overly impressed with what she saw.

His father cleared his throat; it was clear that he hadn't missed the look either. "Hello. My son is here for the second round of auditions. Mr. Bang and I spoke on the phone earlier this week."

The woman's eyebrows shot up but she quickly forced a smile on her face. "Of course. Well you're a bit early. No one is here yet. But you are more than welcome to take a seat and wait for your scheduled time. What name should the audition be listed under?"

"Kim Taehyung," He was glad his voice came out steady. He definitely didn't want to show the woman that her coldness had gotten to him. "My audition isn't until 2, but we don't know our way around Seoul and we didn't want to risk getting lost so we came early."

This was a lie. They had come early because they didn't have anywhere else to go. They had eaten their lunch early on the train and would eat their packed dinner on the train ride back. So there was no reason, nor way, they could go to a restaurant to pass the time. They didn't even have a hotel room to veg out in while waiting.

He noticed his father didn't correct the lie, but he felt a slight pang in his chest when he saw his father fighting back the same feeling of shame that Tae had. _This isn't right. We shouldn't be feeling like this._ But logic never won out over feelings for Tae.

"I understand. Well, go ahead and have a seat. I'll call for you when it's time."

Tae and his father settled in the corner two chairs farthest from the desk. He flashed a small apologetic smile at his father before sticking his earbuds in his ears and allowing himself to zone out.

* * *

 _ **Jungkook's POV:**_

Jungkook was miserable.

He hadn't expected the transition from Busan to Seoul to be quite as hard as it was. He missed his parents and his older brother; he missed his childhood bedroom that was much larger than the small bunk he was now allotted in the even smaller apartment that served as his new home. He missed the few friends that he had managed to hold on to for years despite how closed off he kept himself. Hell, he even missed his old school, where most people ignored him but he could move comfortably through the hallways without feeling judged. Before moving to Seoul, he didn't have to question the motives of the people around him. He wasn't constantly on display, being assessed and judged as to whether he was still the right choice as the fourth addition to the upcoming idol group. In Busan, he wasn't constantly on edge about how young and out of his element he felt.

It didn't even help that the others, Namjoon (RM), Hoseok (J-Hope), Yoongi (Suga) and Seokjin (Jin) were nice enough guys. They tried to include him as best as they could, but the age difference was just too severe for him to not feel entirely inferior in every way. Not to mention, he was pretty sure the way he felt so greatly intimidated by all of them came off as closed off at best, or stuck up at worst.

It wasn't that he particularly hated his situation, but on a day like today, it was extremely tempting to just give up and go home.

"Jungkook, you really need to get up now. We're going to be late." Namjoon's voice softly drifted to the youngest boy's bunk from where he stood in the bedroom doorway. "Everyone's waiting on you so we can leave."

Sighing to himself, Jungkook flung his body over the railing of the top bunk he had been laying in for going on 3 hours. When he reached the ground, he kept his eyes hidden behind his bangs as he shuffled to the suitcase he had been living out of for months to find some clean clothes. Pulling out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that smelled like they'd only been worn a couple of times, he finally glanced up at the tall, lanky guy that still stood in the doorway.

Namjoon smiled awkwardly at the younger teen, gesturing nonchalantly at the clothing he held. "Get dressed and meet us downstairs okay?" Jungkook knew that Namjoon had noticed his awkwardness when it came to dressing in front of the other guys. He just tried not to let his embarrassment show as he waited for the door to click shut, signaling that he was alone.

 _Why am I like this? How hard would it really be to just, act normal?_ Jungkook had always been shy and introverted, but without the buffer of his older brother, who had seemingly always served as an ice breaker when it came to meeting people, he just couldn't break down and talk to the other guys. _They really do seem nice. And they want to talk to you too - well, maybe not Yoongi necessarily. But even he doesn't seem like one to spit on people who try to talk to him._

When he finally arrived downstairs, the guys were bickering lightly about whether or not they should be forced to attend the auditions that were taking place at the studio that afternoon.

"All I'm saying is, if they want us to trapse all the way down there, we should get some say in who they bring in. I know they want more people, but the group dynamic we have now is working out- well, for the most part-" Jin cut himself off when he saw Jungkook slink up to the group.

Jungkook tried to ignore the pang he felt in his stomach at the realization that maybe they hadn't even wanted him to join the group. Everyone else seemed to notice his train of thought, and Namjoon quickly threw his arm around the younger boy's shoulders. "I think everyone they've picked so far has been working out great. Mr. Bang seems to know just who we need, so I trust his judgment completely."

* * *

When the five boys arrived at the studio, after walking quickly from their apartment in the brisk fall weather that made Seoul seem even more sterile than normal, they were not surprised to see the waiting room of the studio packed with nervous looking, skittish teens. The already small room seemed to shrink exponentially with so many people jammed into it, and it was all Jungkook could do to not peace out back through the door and head home. So when Yoongi nudged him with his shoulder and inclined his head towards the studio at the back of the building, he nodded quickly and began to barrel through the crowd.

"Where did you audition?"

"-from a little town down south, you've probably never heard-"

"I just can't believe I'm actually here!"

"-they'd be lucky to have me honestly. I've already been scouted by the Big Three-"

Jungkook shook his head, trying to ignore the buzzes of conversation that circled around him. He couldn't help but remember the fear and nerves he had felt on his audition day. It had only been months ago, but somehow it seemed like years had passed due to how training made each day seem both longer and shorter at the same time.

When he finally reached the entrance to the studio room, he was relieved that only approximately 10 boys had been allowed in as the first set of the day. He slipped towards the corner of the room, settling on the floor with his back to the wall of mirrors and began stretching his legs. They had already been told that part of the audition was to lead one of the dances they had been learning during their trainings, so Mr. Bang and the other producers could observe the auditioners dance skills both outside and inside of a larger group.

"Anybody stand out to you immediately?" Namjoon asked as he collapsed ungracefully beside Jungkook on the floor. He turned a closed-lip smile on the younger boy and gestured to the ten boys scattering around the room in small groups, chattering to each other.

Looking around quickly, Jungkook felt his eyes settle on one particular guy, standing by himself near the door. The kid was clearly around Jungkook's age, and seemed to also be around his height. His dark, natural hair was cut in a somewhat fashionable way that allowed it to flop into and over his eyes, but really just looked like his mom had done it. He wasn't dressed particularly well and his simple clothes and dark hair had almost made him disappear into the small crowd around him. But what struck Jungkook, other than the fact that the boy was by himself and had made no effort to make friends, was how outlandishly good looking he was underneath his mop of hair.

And it wasn't the kind of good looking where the person is so aware of it that it immediately turns you off. The boy seemed shy, based on the fact that he was looking down at his feet and working his bottom lip with his teeth. _No one that looks like that and is aware of it would be nervous for something like this. At the very least, he could be an asset visually._ Even throughout his own audition process, Jungkook had come across his fair share of full-of-themself guys who knew exactly how far their pretty face could take them. And for some reason he was relieved that this kid didn't seem to give off that vibe. Jungkook cleared his throat and shook his head at Namjoon, "Not particularly."

But Namjoon followed his gaze to the loner boy and fought back a smile. "I noticed him too. Seems like he could be a real asset if he has any talent to back up his looks."

Jungkook tried not to blush at the way the older boy casually mentioned scoping out another dude. This was part of the reason he really liked Namjoon, who consistently reminded him to call him by his stage name, Rap Monster. He was so secure in himself that off the wall comments like that didn't even phase him. It was something Jungkook was determined to work on, a mental list that was seemingly always growing.

"I guess so, but don't we already have a visual?" Jungkook glanced around until he found Jin, standing in the middle of small group of auditioners, flinging his arms around excitedly as he talked to them. They seemed to be soaking up his every word, which Jungkook knew is a key way to the oldest hyung's heart.

"Yeah, Jin-hyung is the visual. But we all know the group could use some more beauty to cancel out this mug." Namjoon cupped his own face with his hand and squeezed his eyes shut tightly, smiling with stretched lips once again.

Before Jungkook could think of a non-compromising way to argue, a producer stood up in the front of the room and whistled loudly to get the room's attention. "Alright, Group 1, today we will do the dance portion of the audition first. You will learn a current piece of choreography before performing it with the group members that you hope to join. Boys if you could please join me."

Lining up in front of the group of auditioners, the five members introduced themselves accordingly before stepping backwards to let the producer finish his spiel on how they would then move on to the singing portion. Jungkook felt his eyes continually drifting to the boy from before, even though he tried to fight it.

He was startled at one point to see two dark eyes staring right back at him. He felt frozen for a few moments in the intense gaze, but finally was able to pull his eyes to the scuffed floor underneath his feet. He tried his best to ignore the butterflies in his gut that had erupted as soon as the dark haired kid had smiled widely at him.

He didn't smile back of course. That would have made too much sense. It was clearly a much better idea to simply ignore the guy all together and instead focus on J-Hope, who was now excitedly moving through the simplified choreography that the auditioners would need to perform.

Every once in a while he allowed himself a glance at the boy, finally coming to the conclusion that he would call him number 6, since that was the number pinned to the boy's t-shirt.

Number 6 wasn't bad at dancing, but he wasn't particularly good at it either. He was seemingly middle of the pack and as such, was being just as ignored as everyone else who was struggling through the dances. Jungkook knew the plan was to only accept one person from the day's audition and he tried to convince himself that he wasn't disappointed that Number 6 didn't seem to have a chance in hell at being that select person.

When the dance portion was finally done, the lead producer lined the auditioners up in a row and had them sing a few bars of a current pop song of their choice that they felt would fit their voice the best. It was no surprise that the first few uncreatively chose the latest Big Bang track. Jungkook, who was sitting between Suga and Namjoon on the floor, stiffened as Suga leaned over his lap to hiss/whisper to the others, "If I have to listen to this song all day, I'm going to lose it."

Then it was Number 6's turn. Jungkook tried to watch without any particular interest as the boy stepped forward out of the line. If he was shaken by having to sing in front of the others, it wasn't obvious. He flicked his tongue across his lips quickly before looking towards the main producer, asking with his eyes if he should start.

It was his voice that caught Jungkook so off guard. And based on how his bandmates stiffened and how Suga's chronically bowed head shot up to listen, they felt just as surprised. Number 6's voice was much deeper than they had all expected; it certainly didn't fit with the feminine, elf-like face it was coming from . When he hit the lowest points in the indie song he had chosen to sing, his voice reverberated through the room and Jungkook could feel it buzz through his body.

Jungkook couldn't help but stare at the singer, and was glad to find that the boy's eyes were closed in concentration. _Does anybody catch my eye? Yeah, Namjoon, someone definitely does._ Jungkook reeled himself back from the thought and dug his fingernails into his palm until it hurt. The pain served as a punishment for.. Well, he wasn't exactly sure what he was punishing himself for, but he felt the nausea that normally came in these situations subside and he was able to breathe again.

When Number 6 finished, he stepped back into line quickly and bowed his head as the next person moved forward to begin. Jungkook didn't really pay attention to the next four singers. He instead feigned disinterest in everything that was going on around him by picking at a stray thread on his shorts until Mr. Bang, who had at some point slipped into the room, clapped his hands together.

"Alright, Group 1. Thank you so much for coming out today. If you are selected, we have your information and will give you a call."

They all began to disperse and move towards the door.

"Can someone please round up Group 2 and bring them in for the next round in five minutes?" Mr. Bang called out to the various producers mingling around the perimeter of the room.

Jungkook stood up and wiped non-existent dust off the seat of his pants before turning to his group mates. They were already bunched up, their heads together, talking quietly about the performances they had just seen. Too shy to simply join them, the sixteen year old stood awkwardly off by himself, watching the producers hustle around the room.

"Excuse me." A deep voice assaulted Jungkook's eardrums from behind him, causing him to jerk forward suddenly. Of course it was the guy from before. Number 6. And up close he was even better looking, regardless of the sweat that was matting his long hair to his forehead and the nape of his neck. Jungkook was close enough to notice the small freckle on the tip of his nose and was just about to say something about it when the boy motioned under his foot. "You're standing on my bag."

Looking down, Jungkook saw that he was in fact standing on the strangers backpack strap. He yelped softly and moved his foot off of it. "I'm sorry. I didn't see it laying there."

Before he could think to pick it up and hand it to the kid- you know, how a gentleman would handle the situation- the boy had already pulled it up to his chest from the floor. When they met eyes again, Jungkook felt the same stirring in his stomach from before. _Just say something to him. Work on that chronic shyness you keep getting lectured about._ And it really seemed like the boy was also expecting for Jungkook to say something, so when he didn't, and just stood there staring at his feet, Number 6 cleared his throat awkwardly and turned to walk away.

"Hey there! Your audition was really impressive!" It was Namjoon of course, already sticking his hand out in greeting towards Number 6. Why did it seem like he had a sixth sense for Jungkook being awkward? He always seemed to swoop in at the right moment so the 16 year old didn't come out looking like a mute psycho. It reminded him of how his older brother had been their entire life; somehow serving as the translator for Jungkook whenever he was too awkward to function as a normal human being. "I'm Rap Monster, nice to meet you."

It definitely wasn't jealousy that Jungkook felt when he watched Number 6 reach out to shake Namjoon's hand. And that jealousy definitely didn't get worse when he watched a boxy smile spread across the guy's face at the same time.

"Kim Taehyung, nice to meet you."

 _Taehyung…_ Jungkook made a mental note of the name for… reasons yet to be determined.

"This is Jungkook; he's a little shy, but I'm sure he's glad to meet you too." Fire rushed up Jungkook's neck and set his cheeks ablaze with embarrassment. Shooting a glare at Namjoon, he nodded his head at Taehyung without really looking his direction.

Therefore he missed the smile that was twitching at the edge of Taehyung's mouth and how the other boy was definitely more amused at Jungkook's embarrassment than making fun of it. "It's nice to meet you, Jungkook."

He didn't get a chance to reply before a producer appeared to shoo Taehyung out of the room to make way for Group 2. They didn't even get a chance to say goodbye, but with any luck, it wouldn't have to be the final time they saw each other.

"Well he seemed nice." Namjoon smiled happily down at Jungkook. The younger boy nodded silently before leaning down to tighten his shoe laces. Namjoon was in no hurry to drop the subject, even as ten new auditioners filed into the room. "His singing was better than his dancing. And we could use a lower voice to play off of you and Jin's higher ones."

When Jungkook didn't reply, Namjoon shrugged. "I don't know, we'll have to see who they pick."

* * *

The day dragged on extremely slowly. Despite being busy the entire time, doing the choreography with each of the 11 groups, the minutes just seemed to lazily tick by for Jungkook. In comparison to their normal schedule, the day was fairly easy; and normally Jungkook would be ecstatic about missing his classes at his new school. Yet he still found himself itching for the last group to finish so he could go back to the dorm and sleep.

When it was all finally over, and the five guys were packing up their belongings and preparing to walk back to their apartment in the dark, Jungkook was antsy and ready to leave. He had managed to forget about his encounter with _Taehyung was it?_ (as if he didn't have it memorized) when he was busy, but now that his mind was free to wonder he found himself mentally critiquing all the ways he could have seemed like less of a buffoon. It was frustrating that he was still thinking about it in the first place. Who was this guy and why did he decide to occupy so much space in Jungkook's brain? Maybe it was better that he didn't think about it too hard.

He tried to not rush the others, but he was getting slightly peeved with the way Suga was laying spread out on the floor with no clear intention of moving.

"I felt like we saw some real potential today, you know?" Namjoon was chattering to Jin and J-Hope as he mopped sweat from his forehead. "Anybody you guys liked in particular?"

J-Hope nodded enthusiastically, "I got to talk to a lot of them and they all seemed pretty chill. Some of them really can't dance but that's clearly not a problem since we already have to deal with you two."

Jin and Namjoon guffawed loudly together before beginning to argue with J-Hope about how much improvement they were already seeing with their dancing. Jungkook shook his head at their antics. This was what he had always wanted right? A big family with ever present older brothers that he could tease and would tease right back? That's how his family had been before his older brother had left for college; before the house had turned quiet and lonely and all of his parents' attention had been shifted onto him.

Normally that wouldn't have been a bad thing, but his first few years as a teenager had been marked by a chronic shyness and inferiority complex that he just couldn't shake. It had been his older brother's suggestion, one night over the phone, that Jungkook should try out for some of the idol production companies in Seoul. He had thought that pushing through the fear and skittishness would help the younger boy get over it. And while it worked when he was actually performing, the day-to-day interactions were still hard to navigate on his own.

"You coming kid?" Suga's voice snapped Jungkook back into the present. All four of the other guys were watching the maknae with varying levels of concern on their face.

"Yeah, I'm coming. Sorry. I just zoned out for a second."

"No problem. Let's get home so we can eat. I'm fucking starving." Suga groaned as Jin's face lit up. "No way. Tonight we're getting takeout. I'm not waiting three hours for you to cook when we could have it hot and delivered in less than one."

Jin was clearly gearing up to argue with Suga about the benefits of a home-cooked meal when Mr. Bang sidled up to their group with the clear intention of keeping them for a bit longer.

"How did you all think today went?" He waited for them all to give non-committal nods and shrugs. "Good to hear. Well, I've got to be honest. The producers and I are at a bit of an impasse with which way we're gonna go from here. No one can seem to agree and it's understandably hard considering how many we saw today. Did anybody stand out to you guys?"

 _I could say something about Taehyung… Maybe it would give him an edge since his dancing didn't really stand out. But.. Why would I?_ Jungkook continued to argue with himself about what his motivations would be for mentioning a boy he had just met to Mr. Bang; as he did so, Jin and J-Hope started in enthusiastically about those who had impressed them over the course of the day.

He finally decided that he wouldn't say anything; it would be strange for him to talk openly in the first place, much less about his preferences for who would be added to the team. Scuffing his shoe along the wooden floor, he listened to the older guys make suggestions.

They would never really understand how much effort it took for Jungkook to even make small talk; the act of seeking out conversation with someone he wasn't already comfortable with sometimes drained him completely. And talking to a crush, not that he'd ever had one that was a real person rather than a celebrity, would probably destroy him completely. It was by luck alone that Jungkook's initial obsession with Namjoon, after seeing him in the parking lot outside of Big Hit's office, had turned into a platonic admiration rather than a giant, embarrassing man-crush.

As if he had sensed that the younger boy was thinking about him, Namjoon turned to pull him by the shoulders into the group of conversing men. "Jungkook and I were particularly interested in the guy with the low voice from the first group. What was his name-?"

"Taehyung." Jungkook sputtered out suddenly, surprising everyone including himself. "Kim Taehyung was his name. I think that was it, anyway." He added the last bit just so he didn't seem as crazy, but he knew he had the name correct.

Mr. Bang smiled kindly at the maknae, "I found him intriguing as well. He was our surprise auditioner in Daegu. If one of the assistant producers hadn't convinced him to audition, he would have completely gone unnoticed."

"Were you impressed with his audition today? Enough for him to be a contender?" Namjoon asked Mr. Bang the question so confidently, Jungkook again found himself to be jealous of the older boy.

"I don't think I was here for his particular group. But if you two think he's worth looking at, I'll make sure to take a look at the tapes. What about you guys? Did you notice him?" Mr. Bang directed his attention at Yoongi, Jin, and J-Hope.

 _Maybe it wasn't such a big deal to bring the guy up. I won't get my hopes up or anything, but he seemed cool and his voice was impressive. And he seemed to be basically my age, which would be really awesome._

Suga commented on what he could remember of Taehyung's voice. Mostly that it had been surprisingly deep, especially considering his assumed age. Jin hadn't necessarily noticed him, but pointed out that he was confident in the other boys' opinions. And J-Hope kindly fibbed about how his dancing hadn't been too awful, but could definitely be improved upon.

By the end of the conversation, Jungkook was feeling pretty good about the bug they had planted in Mr. Bang's ear. He still wasn't quite sure why he was so adamant about Taehyung being chosen for the group, but he had ultimately decided to roll with it. When it was all said and done, and Mr. Bang had once again promised to look at the tapes, the five of them wondered out onto the darkened, abandoned street to trek home.

It was almost midnight at that point, and they could all feel themselves getting more exhausted as each minute passed. There wasn't much talking as they stumbled down the increasingly familiar streets to their run-down apartment building, but occasionally Yoongi moaned about how he was still hungry. He didn't get much of a response though.

When Jungkook shuffled into their apartment behind Namjoon, pulling the door closed behind him and toeing his shoes off his feet, he realized that, while he was just as exhausted as he was every other night, he was the happiest he had been since moving to Seoul. He tried not to think about the reason and just bask in the unfamiliar feeling, but the face of one particular auditioner kept materializing in his mind.

"I'm going to head to bed. See you guys in the morning." He muttered loud enough for Jin and Yoongi to hear him even as they stood bickering in the small studio kitchen.

He barely heard the harmony of "goodnights" out of his hyungs before he closed the bedroom door behind him. Deciding to forgo putting on official pajamas, the dark haired teen climbed the ladder to his bunk and flung himself down on his stomach. He buried his face in his pillow and sighed to himself.

It didn't take long for him to fall asleep. And his dreams picked up right where his thoughts had left off: Kim Taehyung.


	3. Chapter Three: We Are Bulletproof Pt 1

Chapter Three: We Are Bulletproof Pt. 1

 **Taehyung's POV:**

Taehyung tried to control his nerves as he sat waiting for 2 o'clock to roll around and his audition to start. It was easier the first time; having no expectation to actually audition had kept him from locking up in fear of what was to come. But now he sat in the hard fold-up chair next to his father, watching the waiting room slowly fill with other teenage boys and he couldn't help the uncomfortable shifting in his stomach.

He tried distracting himself with the reading material he had brought from school; well, the reading material that his mother had insisted he bring to read on the train if he was going to be missing his classes for the day. It wasn't all that surprising that the work couldn't keep his attention for more than a few minutes at a time.

Even his father didn't seem to actually be reading the novel he had brought with him; the pages didn't turn nearly fast enough for the older man to actually be actively reading. Taehyung realized that his father must have been nervous as well. They had taken time out of their week to come to Seoul on a whim, with only a very slim chance of the trip panning out to be anything life-changing. The extra pressure of knowing how inconvenient this all was for his family only set Taehyung's bouncing leg to warp speed.

Eventually he gave up completely on distracting himself and just let his eyes sweep back and forth from the other auditioners to the slowing ticking clock. Other boys, who apparently weren't nearly as nervous as Taehyung, gathered in small groups to introduce themselves and make (sometimes not so) polite conversation with each other.

In a normal situation, Taehyung would have been eager to introduce himself as well; it always made him feel better to at least have one person to talk to. But not today. Ever since this whole idol group business had started, he had felt a major strain on his normally bubbly, if not carefree personality. He hadn't even found much time to spend with Minjun, which the older boy had not failed to mention multiple times in the past few weeks.

Making it a goal to spend more time with his best friend once the audition, which had occupied his mind completely, was over and done with, Taehyung tried to settle more comfortably on the hard surface of the chair he had been rooted to for a few hours now. The clock told him that he didn't have much more of a wait; it was already 1:27, meaning he should be called back within half an hour. He could wait that long surely. In an hour or so it would all be over and his fate would rest safely in the hands of someone else; not that the thought was particularly helpful.

A sudden ringing broke through Taehyung's silent monologue. He turned to watch his father pull his chiming cell phone out of his pocket. It was his mother, undoubtedly calling to see if they had made it to the city and found their way to the audition site.

"I'm just going to slip out and talk to your mother. If you get called before I get back, good luck- or break a leg, I suppose would be better." His father shot Taehyung a quick smile before awkwardly excusing himself through the now extremely crowded waiting room.

He felt a flash of panic at being left alone, but realized that not too many of the other teens in the room had been accompanied by a parent and suddenly he felt slightly foolish for having looked like he needed to be babysat. Then again, maybe it was the presence of his father that had kept the jackals from him in the first place, because as soon as he was alone, three stylish and stuck-up looking guys materialized in front of his chair.

The tallest one, who seemed to tower over Taehyung where he sat in the chair, jerked his impressively strong chin skyward in some sort of strange, douchebaggery greeting. "Hey."

Taehyung's eyebrows shot up, mostly out of amusement. The guy was everything he had assumed he would face if he was to come up against the cliche rich boys of the city. His hair was glossy and swept across his forehead, but mostly hidden under a flat-billed hat; his clothes were stylish and looked as if they could be designer. The two boys that flanked him looked to be carbon-copies and clearly weren't worth much attention on their own.

Not really in the mood to deal with whatever bullying was about to begin, Tae tried to come up with some excuse to slip into the crowd. Unfortunately his nerves kept him rooted to his seat, gazing up at the imposing guy standing in front of him.

"Where did you audition?" Douchebag Leader demanded for no apparent reason. He didn't even wait for Tae to respond before cutting in with his real reason for bringing up the subject in the first place. "I didn't attend the open auditions. I was personally asked to come as a favor to Mr. Bang."

Tae tried to think of the bitchiest way he could tell the guy that not only did he not care, but that he wasn't impressed in the slightest. Before he could, he heard his name called out through the crowd by a strangely familiar voice.

"Taehyung! I heard you were going to be here today." Doyun, the assistant producer that had scouted him at his first audition, materialized out of the crowd with a giant smile plastered onto his face. Tae tried his best to ignore the feelings that smile stirred within him; he jumped to his feet to face the older boy.

"Doyun! I didn't know I'd see you again!"

The Douchebag squad glanced back and forth between the two of them, but the leader clearly made a decision to move on to new prey and they stalked off into the crowd of auditioners once again.

"That's funny. I had the strange feeling I'd be seeing you again." Tae's stomach squeezed at the blazing smile that accompanied the statement. Was the older boy flirting? It seemed like something too outlandish to just happen out of the blue like that. Maybe he was just reading into something that was entirely platonic and meant to just be friendly. "How have you been? Are you excited for your audition today?"

Doyun had changed his hair since the last time they had seen each other; it was now extremely dark and streaked with purple. Tae considered bringing it up but thought it might be weird to have noticed the change in the first place. He had almost waited an embarrassingly long time to answer, choosing to stare at the guy for longer than was probably polite.

"I've been great. I've gotta say I'm pretty nervous for this today; it was easier last time when I was sort of bullied into it at the last minute." The last statement was meant to be teasing and he hoped Doyun took it that way; sometimes the things he would say out of sarcasm to his friends didn't come across quite the same to other people.

So he was glad when Doyun laughed heartily and reached out to squeeze his shoulder. "Man, fuck whoever did that to you, right? Maybe one day when you're rich and famous you can really stick it to them for being such a bully."

Smiling widely, Taehyung was surprised to feel some of his nerves slipping away; it may be strange to jump to conclusions after only two conversations, but something about Doyun really seemed to put Tae at ease. Not to mention he wasn't hard on the eyes… But he really didn't need to go getting himself confused right now.

"Oh, shit. I actually came over here for a reason. You need to put this on." Doyun shoved a square sheet of paper with a giant "6" on it and two safety pins into Taehyung's hands. "And then come with me to the studio. You're in the first group to go."

He quickly fastened the number to his shirt and pushed down the blush that tried to surface when Doyun reached out to grab his wrist and pull him through the waiting room to the studio he had caught glimpses of before. It was at that moment that Taehyung noticed the front door open one last time and a small group of guys come tumbling through the doors.

Three of them were loudly bickering with each other, shoving each other's shoulders lightly as they made their way past Tae and Doyun. The shortest of the group hung back in a clear attempt to walk with the young, scrawny boy that was trailing behind. They all slunk towards the studio, the tallest one with a crazy hairdo nodding at Doyun who had pulled Tae to a stop right outside the open door to the dance studio.

"Those are the guys they've already chosen." He announced to Taehyung unprompted as they watched them walk by. "They're really cool. I bet you'll get along if you make it through this audition." He paused a moment to take in Taehyung's stricken face before nudging him forward with a kind look in his eyes. "You're going to do great. Don't worry."

* * *

"Great" wasn't exactly how he would describe his audition.

Being in a room with 10 other guys vying for the same spot really put Tae in a funk, but he tried to push past it. Being watched from all angles by the various producers that were meant to judge him didn't help matters either, but he could ignore that if he really focused. It was the dancing that killed him.

The already chosen member that had introduced himself as J-Hope had really flown through the choreography like it was nothing. For Taehyung, it was definitely one of the hardest things he had ever attempted. He was sure he looked like a newborn horse stumbling around, trying his best to not bump into people. The only saving grace was that a few of the other established members weren't much better than he was, even with the training they had already received.

It wasn't that he wasn't naturally graceful; he felt like he kind of had some natural poise and rhythm. It boiled down to the fact that he was extremely uncomfortable with the moves themselves. Contorting his body in a way that could be considered sexual was something entirely new for Tae. Pair that with the fact that a certain assistant producer had decided to slip in and watch this particular set of auditions, Tae was blushing bright red the entire time they were showing off the dance.

Anytime he met eyes with Doyun he could tell the older boy was teasing him. From shaking his eyebrows up and down suggestively to biting his lip in Tae's direction, he was having a grand old time making the entire experience an embarrassing one. Tae still wasn't sure if the actions were legitimate flirting or just friendly teasing from a guy very clearly secure in his masculinity and sexuality. He decided to table the mental discussion for now and focus on the task at hand.

Once he was able to ignore the older boy, the dancing went a little bit smoother. Or at least it passed by faster. Soon it was over and time for the auditioners to show off their singing. He listened to the guys before him sing the same, or at least similar, songs over and over again. Even he was bored hearing it by the time it was his turn. So rather than sing a popular, easy idol band song, he chose his latest favorite from an indy American singer that he had played on repeat for weeks.

At some point during his singing, he glanced up to find one of the already chosen members staring straight at him. And yes, they were supposed to be listening to him sing, but something about this guy's stare in particular had drawn his attention. He could almost sense that he was being watched with more intensity than he had ever felt before in his life. So he did what any normal person would do and shut his eyes incredibly tight to block out the stare. The guy was clearly the youngest of the group and while Tae hadn't caught his name during introductions, he had noticed the multiple stares that the kid had been shooting his way since he walked in the room.

But after he had finished singing and had taken the time to watch the next person begin his own audition piece, he found the kid staring off into space rather than at him. So maybe he had just imagined the whole thing.

Finally, it was over. He didn't feel particularly great about his chances when factoring in the dancing portion, but he at least felt relief that he could now go home and not worry about it for a while. Strangely enough, as if fate wanted to push them together, Tae found the kid from before standing on top of his bag as soon as he attempted to leave.

He felt strangely hesitant to say anything, but pushed the silly feeling away and approached the guy instead. When Tae announced to the boy that he was in fact standing on top of his bag, he was cutely awkward about it and scrambled to get off. Tae expected to then just grab his bag and scram, but he was soon being introduced to the tall guy who had nodded at Doyun earlier in the hallway.

That guy's name was Rap Monster, which seemed peculiar at first until he remembered the idol who had literally nicknamed himself G-Dragon. Rap Monster then introduced the awkward bag-stepper who was apparently also too shy to talk for himself; his name was Jungkook. They both seemed perfectly nice and he almost wished he could stick around to talk to them some more but Doyun appeared at his side and told him that they were bringing in the next group.

He let himself be shepherded out into the lobby, slinging his bag onto his back as he went. Doyun stopped right outside the door to the studio, glancing at Tae with an apologetic look in his eyes. "I wish I could walk you further, but they need me back in there to do some more producer shit."

"That's okay. It's not that big of a place. I think I can find my way around." Tae teased.

He was rewarded with a smile and another squeeze of his upper arm. "Well, you did great, kid." Alright, maybe that stung a bit, coming from the mouth of an objectively attractive older male. "Hopefully, I get to see you around here again."

Tae nodded and said goodbye before seeking out his father in the crowd. Neither of them figured they needed to stick around since Tae was done auditioning, so they gathered up their things and bustled out into the late afternoon breeze that awaited outside of the studio. His father didn't say much to him, clearly not wanting to pry too much, but he seemed satisfied when Tae offered up that he felt mildly confident that the audition had gone well.

It wasn't too long before they were back on the train headed for Daegu, each having pulled out their prospective books yet neither one of them planning on doing any reading. Instead they sat in silence next to each other and watched the changing landscapes out the windows all the way home.

* * *

When the two men got home, it was well past dinner and the house had already quieted down for the night. Tae's father told him he'd relay to his mother that the audition went well and sent him off to bed. He wasn't surprised to find Jeongyu already asleep, or at least pretending to be, when he reached their room.

He decided to be kind and leave the lights off, slipping off his now sweat-dried clothes and pulling on his pajamas in the dark. There was once a time when he and his younger brother had been extremely close and nights like tonight would be spent up playing together and laughing. Something about them both becoming teenagers had changed that though; his bubbly personality only solidifying where his brother's changed to a sullen, emo mess that no one could pull him out of. Tae tried not to let it bother him too much, but he could feel a hole in his heart where his relationship with his younger brother had once been. It was there waiting for the younger boy to come back to him when he was ready, if he ever would be ready.

Once Tae had slipped into his own bed he allowed himself to think back on the day. He didn't feel complete despair about his audition, and maybe if he was lucky his singing would outweigh his dancing. He had just allowed his thoughts to turn to the strange, staring boy when his bedroom door creaked open quietly. It wasn't a shock when he felt a weight settle onto his bed and a petite body crawl up to cram between him and the wall his bed ran parallel to.

As Eunjun slipped herself under the covers and settled against Tae's chest, he found himself wrapping his free arm around her shoulders. It wasn't strange for his younger sister to crawl into his room, even as she got older. They were both cuddlers and had often found it easier to sleep when together rather than apart.

Settling his chin on top of her head, he closed his eyes and prepared to sleep. But she interrupted the silence with an extremely unsuccessful whisper. "So how'd your audition go?"

Tae chuckled softly, squeezing her around the arms lightly before answering. "I think it went well. I'm not a very good dancer."

"I could have told you that." She hissed back playfully before lapsing back into silence. He thought she had fallen asleep but she squirmed to get more comfortable before whispering again. "I bet you did great. I hope you get in, even if it means you have to leave us."

 _Leave us._ It didn't sound accusatory; nothing ever did coming from Eunjun. It was just a matter of fact statement. And he supposed it was true. If he got into the group they would either make it big, at which point he would never be truly back home, or they would fail and he would have to scramble to find something else to do with his life. It was all very overwhelming to think about and if he was honest with himself he was avoiding thinking through the logistics of it all until he absolutely had to.

"Let's not worry about it yet. I haven't even gotten in." He mumbled back, although he seemed to be talking more to himself than to her.

He felt her nod and settle more into the pillow. He eventually felt her body still and her breathing even out, signaling that she was asleep. It took him longer to follow, but eventually he did and luckily, he had neither dreams nor nightmares.

* * *

The next day seemed strangely mundane following his big trip to the city and Tae couldn't pretend that he wasn't bored out of his mind as he sat through class after class that he didn't care about. He was chomping at the bit for lunch to roll around so when his history teacher dismissed the class, he was the first out the door.

He found Minjun at their normal lunch spot under the giant tree in the school's courtyard. Swinging the bagged lunch his mom had packed for the other boy, who much preferred Tae's mother's cooking to his own, onto his lap, he collapsed to the ground beside him.

"Hey." Minjun muttered around the rice he was already shoveling into his mouth. "How'd it go yesterday? You didn't text me like you promised."

Tae shrugged noncommittally as he lay completely down and stared up at the moving clouds in the sky. "I'm sorry, hyung. I forgot that I had promised. It went okay, I think. My dancing is awful so I'm hoping they can see past it, you know?"

The older boy nodded, his bangs flopping into his eyes. It struck Tae that Minjun didn't seem overly concerned with how the audition had gone; it almost seemed as though he wasn't expecting much to come from it in the first place. The idea stung a little, even if he had no concrete evidence that it was how his best friend actually felt.

He did want to pass through the audition and be selected, didn't he? He wouldn't have gone and put strain on his family if there wasn't at least a part of him that actually took it all seriously. But if he was honest with himself, he didn't necessarily feel the same drive that the other guys at the audition had exerted. But maybe that would change if he was selected. Maybe his passion for the job would follow as he was thrust into it head first.

Forcing himself to focus on Minjun once again, Tae found himself stumbling into a conversation he really wasn't expecting to have at the moment. "-and she says she's had a crush on you forever so I figured you'd at least be interested to know about it, you know?"

"Whoa, what?" Tae interrupted the older boy as soon as he could piece together what he thought he was hearing. "Who has a crush on me?"

"You really suck at listening, dude. Always off in your own world." Minjun sighed dramatically and kicked his foot out to connect softly with Tae's side. "That girl from the band that I keep telling you is staring at you constantly. The tall one that plays the flute."

"Oh, okay. How do you know she has a crush on me?" Tae could feel a blush rising up his neck to pair with the nervous jitters he always got in situations like this. He was a man of many weaknesses: Girls Generation, his mother's cooking, cute puppies, and, unfortunately, being confessed to. He was entirely incapable of rejecting someone who confessed to him. It was unclear why it was so hard for him to gently let someone down, but he just couldn't disappoint people, even when he was definitely not interested.

And while the girl Minjun was describing seemed perfectly nice (well, from what he could remember about her, which wasn't much), he was extremely confident that he was not interested in being confessed to once again. A fact that Minjun definitely was aware of, making Taehyung wonder why his best friend had brought it up in the first place.

"I already told you. She was talking about it to Jiyoo and Jiyoo told me, so I confronted her about it and she spilled her guts. It was very cute actually; she's clearly infatuated with you. Though I have no idea why. If she only knew you like I do, she would run far away-" Minjun laughed heartily as he dodged the punch Tae was sending his way. "Anyway, that's not what's important. What's important is, I need you to take her confession so we can go on a double date. It's the only way Jiyoo is ever going to give me the time of day and you can be my wingman. Play me up and shit, you know?"

Ah, there lie the truth. It was all just an elaborate guilt trip to talk Tae into going on a double date that he definitely would have rejected in the first place. Taehyung groaned loudly, slinging his forearm over his eyes in despair. "No fucking way, hyung. I'm not doing this shit so you can get laid."

"Please, TaeTae. I would be forever in your debt." He could hear that the older boy was pouting his bottom lip out in an attempt to get sympathy. That wasn't going to work. Minjun's constant elaborate plots to find girls and convince them to date him was exhausting and Tae wanted no part in it.

However, when he continued to ignore Minjun by pretending that he had fallen asleep, he was rewarded with the older boy's mumble of, "I guess I could tell Jiyoo that you need to hear the confession for yourself. I'm sure she could get her friend to talk to you right after school-"

"Don't you fucking dare." Tae sat up quickly, glaring at Minjun. He definitely didn't want to get confessed to in person; that would inevitably end up with him actually dating the girl for weeks just out of sympathy. "Fine, I'll go on the double date. But you have to figure out a way to get me out of a second date as soon as it's over."

Minjun chuckled and started digging through Tae's untouched lunch sack once he sensed that the argument was over. "Get into the band and you'll have the perfect way out."

* * *

And based on how the double date was going, he suspected he really would need to move out of town in order to get away from this situation.

Minjun and Taehyung had met the girls at the local shopping mall with the intention of eating lunch at the food court before walking around and window shopping. The problem with such an unstructured date is the pressure to actually talk to one another. Going to the movies would have been so much better, in Tae's opinion, because it was considered more rude to talk than to not and there was at least something to keep everyone entertained.

Currently, the entertainment of the afternoon was Minjun babbling away about anything and everything he could think of to impress Jiyoo, the girl that all of this was for. Tae was determined to not aid his best friend in the slightest as punishment for dragging him along; therefore, he was scooting the last of his food around the styrofoam container and trying to avoid eye contact with his own date.

Which was proving pretty hard to do since she was staring at him and had been since they met up. A flash of guilt rocked through his body as he realized that he had zoned out once again upon her introducing herself and therefore still had no idea what her name was. Normally he wasn't this rude, particularly to girls, but he was so uninterested in the high school dating scene and all his thoughts were consumed by wanting to get the phone call from Big Hit asking him to join the group.

The more days that passed since his audition on Tuesday, the more anxious he felt about his chances. And the more anxious he grew, the less patience he had with the mundanity that had been his life up to now.

"So, oppa, how are your saxophone lessons going?" It took Tae a moment, and a covert shove from Minjun, to realize that his date was talking to him. Her eyes were giant and fearful, which tugged on his heart strings and made him feel bad for ignoring her up to this point.

Even if he had no interest in dating her, he should at least be kind. It took courage to confess to someone, even if it was second hand, and being immediately spurned would be embarrassing and hurtful. He smiled widely at her, letting his eyes crinkle with the force of it. "It's going alright. I haven't had much time to practice lately, if I'm honest. How's your transition to the flute been?"

 _Oh alright, Taehyung. Completely forget her name but remember that she switched instruments to the flute this year. That makes total sense, you fucking weirdo._ Yet somehow it wasn't surprising. He always did seem to focus on the little details rather than the big picture. Minjun would say that he fixated on shit that didn't matter, but based on how the girl's face was currently lighting up, maybe it was a good thing that he remembered.

"Oppa! You remembered!" She squealed out excitedly, reaching across the table to grab his free hand. It was so unexpected that he almost pulled away; not that he had a problem with skinship in general, but he was used to being the one that initiated it. And it was normally with people he was more comfortable with. And it was most certainly never with girls (outside of Eunjun).

He gaped at their connected hands, barely registering that she was still talking in response to his question. _How do I get her off without offending her?_ He shifted his gaze to the side, hoping that Minjun would help him, but the older boy just grinned mischievously before returning to conversation with his own date.

And that's how Tae was stuck walking through the mall, his clammy hand gripped tightly in a much smaller, softer one, trying to come up with some sort of plan to excuse himself sooner rather than later. Minjun was being no help, as per usual, completely enthralled in his own conversation with Jiyoo.

They were not holding hands, Taehyung noticed with envy. Why had it all turned out this way? He should have refused the double date in the first place. Now she would be expecting something to come out of all of this and he wasn't willing to date anyone right now.

"-actually, TaeTae here is the one that got a call back." Minjun's mention of his name grabbed his attention and he lifted an eyebrow at the older boy to show that he hadn't been listening but was now curious. Minjun rolled his eyes and slung his arm across Tae's shoulders, "I was just telling the girls about your audition in Seoul on Tuesday."

Face flushing with embarrassment, Tae averted his eyes and pretended to be extremely interested in the clothes hanging on the mannequin in the shop window they stood in front of. It just so happened that they were outside of a women's lingerie store, which Taehyung noticed a few moments too late as he realized he was staring in on women holding up outfits that he should definitely not be seeing.

"Oh!" He squeaked out, yanking his head down to stare at the floor while the others laughed heartily at his mistake.

If it was even possible, he felt his face turn redder as Minjun leaned forward and teasingly whispered, "You'd better get used to seeing that shit if you become a world famous idol, dude."

Like that was going to happen.

* * *

The weeks after the double date, and the audition in Seoul, were a weird dichotomy of busy while also being uneventful. As the end of term and winter break approached, Tae threw himself into his studies in an effort to distract himself from the fact that he hadn't gotten a call from Big Hit yet. The paranoia had settled in approximately a week into waiting and, if his chewed-to-hell fingernails were indicative of anything it was that he was extremely stressed.

It had been so long since the audition that when a phone number with the Seoul area code scrolled across Tae's phone screen, he almost let it go to voicemail. Luckily, Minjun was laying on his stomach across the end of the younger boy's bed and, upon noticing the number as well, slapped Tae's thigh urgently.

"Answer it! That might be them!"

Anxiety sparked throughout Tae's entire body, causing his palms to become sweaty. He stared at Minjun, who was in turn staring at him, hoping that he would answer the ringing phone instead. Finally realizing that wasn't going to happen and that he didn't want to end up missing the call, Tae slid the green phone icon to the side and pulled his phone up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hi. Am I speaking with Kim Taehyung?" The voice on the other end of the phone was kind and lilted upwards with each word. Tae took it to be a good sign that the man sounded optimistic and so he allowed himself to also be optimistic.

"Yes, this is him."

"Ah, fantastic. Well, Mr. Kim, we wanted to call and extend our gratitude that you took the time to come to Seoul and audition with us a few weeks ago." Tae could barely concentrate on what the man was saying. _Just tell me yes or no already. I can't take the waiting._ Minjun also apparently had had enough of the waiting; he slumped forwards to he could put his own ear on the back of the phone in an effort to hear the man's muffled words on the other end of the line.

"And we found you to be extremely talented-" _For the love of god, just tell me._ "So we would like to officially extend an offer for you to join Big Hit Entertainment as an idol group trainee."

And that was it. What he had waited weeks to hear. Relief didn't flood through his body like he had expected it to. What did all of this even mean? As much time as he had spent on thinking about the future, he really hadn't actually thought it all the way through.

Minjun had pulled away from the phone and was staring at Tae with a fanatical grin on his face. When the smile wasn't returned, the older boy's face fell. Tae felt like he was watching the whole situation from outside of his body. _Why am I not responding? The guy is waiting. Minjun is waiting._

But the words wouldn't leave his lips. It all felt like way too large of a decision to be made on the spot. Which was honestly stupid considering he was the one that wanted all of this.

"Mr. Kim?" The voice on the other end of the line was unsure and softer than it had been before. "Did I lose you? Are you still there?"

Suddenly, realizing that the younger boy was trapped in a prison of his own thoughts, Minjun grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him violently. Luckily, that woke him up.

"Y-yes, sir. I am here. I'm sorry. Uh- that's really great news. I would love to become a trainee." His voice sounded lifeless to his own ears. But the Big Hit representative either didn't notice or chose to ignore it, pushing on with trying to sort out the details. But for a seventeen year old boy whose whole life was being dramatically altered, discussing specifics was way out of his depth.

And that's how Tae found himself pacing the living room as he listened to his father speak to the man in the other room. _That's good,_ he thought to himself. _Better that the adults deal with this shit. This is too much right now._

Minjun, who was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, simply watched Tae walk back and forth across the small room. The sudden realization that Taehyung would be leaving, maybe for good, in the really near future had caused the older boy to shut down.

The two of them had been inseparable since childhood and now it seemed like a giant rift was going to tear their friendship to shreds. The 10 year old boys who had promised to be best friends for their whole lives apparently hadn't counted on life ripping them apart.

When Tae glanced down at his best friend, he pretended to not notice the tears swimming in the older boy's eyes. And he hoped Minjun was kind enough to do the same.


	4. Chapter Four: We Are Bulletproof Pt 2

**Taehyung's POV:**

When all was said and done, it had been decided that Taehyung would finish out the semester in Daegu before transferring to a high school in Seoul. It had been a deal-breaker for his parents that he continue his education, just in case this whole idol business didn't work out. And he had happily agreed because then he could at least pretend that what was happening in his life was normal.

He was equal parts terrified and excited for the journey he was about to go on. Actually being accepted as a trainee made him refocus on the day of his audition. The five boys he had met seemed nice enough; and he had luckily never had a hard time making friends. He just hoped they would all be welcoming enough to deal with his eccentric personality and habits.

It hadn't taken his current friends long to get used to him, but they had been children and therefore weren't really aware of how weird he truly was. Now that they were all older, Minjun consistently pointed out how strange he was and, if he ever wanted a girlfriend, he should really try to be more normal.

Even now, as Minjun lay prostrate on Taehyung's floor, watching the younger boy pack, he babbled on about all the girls he would see in Seoul. "I'm telling you, man. The city will be packed with girls who have no idea how fucking weird you are. Take advantage of the big city and your anonymity while you still can."

Tae rolled his eyes, making sure he was turned away when he did it so he wouldn't get slapped. "I don't give a shit about that, hyung. I'm technically moving there to work, anyway. I doubt I'll have time to date."

Minjun snorted loudly. He sat up and pushed his bangs out of his face. Tae momentarily envied the other boy's hair. His own was a boring, dark brown that bordered on black and lay flat against his head; he hadn't ever really taken an interest in doing it or anything, but sometimes he wished it was different. _I guess someone else will be in charge of that now._

"How much work could it possibly be? You learn a few songs, dance around a bit, no problem. If you ever get tired of it and they need a new member, give me a call." It was an awkward joke for Minjun to make, considering he hadn't been chosen in the first place. But Tae just let it roll off his back and rather than say anything, turned to his bed and grabbed a pillow to throw at his head.

"Hey!" The older boy jumped to his feet and lurched forward to tackle Tae to the ground. It immediately turned into a child's game of wrestling, with Taehyung almost succeeding at pinning the older to the floor despite how much skinnier he was than Minjun. It struck him that they hadn't horsed around like this in years; something about maturing into teenagers had sucked away their desire to rough house in such a way. He cherished the momentary reprieve from his impending adulthood and allowed a low growl to rip from his throat as he shoved Minjun onto his back once again.

They were still rolling around, trying to choke each other out, when Tae's bedroom door opened to reveal a grumbling Jeongyu. "Halmoni is here. Mom and dad want you in the living room." The eternally pissed off teen turned to leave the room just as quickly as he had appeared. But upon hearing his mumble of "fucking homos," Tae reached out to grab his ankle and pull him into the mini-dog pile they had created.

The words didn't shock Taehyung. He had heard his brother and his little group of troublemaker friends fling the insult at the fragile, feminine boys that sometimes stumbled across their path at school. But they did make him disappointed in his little brother's attitude and therefore, just to piss him off, Tae planted a sloppy, wet kiss to his younger brother's cheek before letting him squirm out of his grasp. He watched triumphantly as the boy turned a bright shade of red before stumbling out of the room, slamming the door behind him as he went.

"That's was so fucking funny." Minjun gasped out between guffaws. "What a little twat."

Taehyung chuckled in agreement, understanding that his best friend was more upset with being called the word than the implicit homophobia his brother had portrayed.

Determined to think about something else, Tae rose to his feet and turned back to the small closet of things he was trying to cram into a tiny suitcase. He knew he still had a week and a half to get ready for the move, but his nervous energy was always better funneled into something productive.

"Are you taking this with you?" Turning to see what Minjun was talking about, Tae came face to face with his saxophone case. To be honest, he hadn't even thought about the instrument since getting the call from Big Hit. Something about the instrument felt so foreign to him now, like his years of practice had taken place in another lifetime.

"I don't know. I guess not, you know? There's kind of no point." He shrugged at his best friend, sending him a boxy smile of reassurance when the older boy's face crumpled into concern. Forgiveness came quick with Taehyung. "With any luck, I'll be too busy to play. Besides, they told me not to bring too much stuff. There won't be a lot of room with six guys in one apartment."

"I guess that's true.." Minjun still didn't look super confident, but he sat the case down where he had found it and rose to his feet. "Well, I should probably head home. Your halmoni is here and I'm sure my family wants me home for all the festive shit."

Tae nodded and, impulsively, reached out to hug the older boy tightly. He tried not to flinch at how rigid Minjun became and just continued to embrace him. Just this once, he would let his real personality show through; his clinginess and touchiness would just have to be bearable for once. "Merry Christmas, Hyung."

"Merry Christmas, Tae." And to his surprise, the hug he received back was likely the most genuine one Taehyung had ever received from his best friend. He closed his eyes at the contact, relishing the way the strong arms felt wrapped around his back. It was strictly platonic of course; he had never been interested in Minjun. But it felt good to be held nonetheless.

"Promise you'll come see me before we leave Monday?" He all but demanded of Minjun as he walked him to the front door, smiling at his Grandmother and Grandfather who were perched on the couch, having their ears talked off by Eunjin. The young girl stuck her tongue out at Minjun and Tae as they walked by; they both returned the gesture out of habit.

"Don't worry; I'll be there." Minjun proclaimed as he pulled his coat and shoes on. And with that he waved at Tae's family before slipping out the front door into the freezing, snow blanketed night.

* * *

Christmas with the Kim family was never an extravagant affair. They spent a majority of the festivities cooking, eating, and talking rather than exchanging gifts. His aunts and mother dominated the kitchen, flitting around the small room chattering loudly about the latest town gossip while preparing more food than could ever be eaten. The various men in the family, a group which Taehyung was not yet a part of, would bundle up and, despite the cold and oftentimes snow, would sit in the backyard to do their own conversing. It was the price of living in such a tiny house, but no one seemed to mind.

The children in the family, all twelve of them, ran in and out of the bedrooms, maintaining a noise level that hurt everyone's ears. But no one shushed them since it was Christmas. Normally, Taehyung would be running around with them. Despite being the oldest of all of the cousins, he loved kids and the carefree way they could play for hours. But this year, he was too high strung and nervous to play. A fact that he had to keep repeating to one particular cousin who was just insistent that he join in the fun. So he spent the day shuffling around the house, not really paying much attention to what anyone was talking about, just trying to enjoy the company.

It was disappointing that he wasn't happier. Christmas was always Taehyung's favorite holiday. It was close to his birthday, which was always exciting because his mother made more sweets than he could ever eat alone. Which was also convenient since the house was filled with the giggling, sugar-loving children.

Currently, those same children had all been wrangled into the living room and were bouncing off the walls waiting to open their small piles of presents. Upon entering the packed living room, Taehyung had been shepharded to the center of the couch and a large, flat box had been placed across his lap. He looked up at his parents, who were standing a few feet away from him with their arms around each other.

"Okay, before you open it. This is from your father and I in the hopes that you'll get good use out of it in Seoul. And if it doesn't fit, your halmoni has offered to alter it if she can." Tae's mother was chewing on her thumbnail, leaning into his father who had his arm wrapped around her shoulders. She looked nervous, which in turn made Taehyung nervous.

Whatever the gift was, he would love it of course. But something felt different about this gift than any he had received before. He looked around the room at his various aunts and uncles, who all looked at him with knowing twinkles in their eyes. He heard his mother make an impatient noise, so he turned back to the box. Hesitantly, he slid his thin fingers under the wrapping paper flap and tore it off of the package. As he tore the paper away, english lettering appeared across the top of the box.

"G-ucki?" Taehyung asked in a questioning voice as he looked up at his parents, his eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"I think it's pronounced Goo-chi," His mother said hesitantly, looking around the room for confirmation, her dark, straight eyebrows pulled together under her bangs.

It was at that point that Eunjun threw her torso over the top of the couch to get a closer look at the glossy white box. Her loud squeal almost burst Tae's eardrums and caused him to jump inches into the air, the box falling from his hands into his lap. "Oh my god! That's not fair! What did you get? What's in the box? Open the freaking box, Taehyung!"

It all came spilling out of the petite girl's mouth at once. Taehyung chuckled to himself and reached back to push her backwards with a finger to her forehead.

"I'm going to. Calm down, crazy." He turned back to the box, suddenly feeling inexplicably nervous to look inside. He had heard of the brand before and, although he wasn't very well versed in foreign fashion, he knew whatever the item was, it had to have been expensive. More expensive than his family could afford.

Not wanting to keep said family waiting for much longer, he lifted the top off of the box, finding a puffy, black winter coat lay within the white tissue paper. Even oblivious Taehyung could tell that the coat was gorgeous, so he pulled it carefully from the box and unfurled it in his lap. It had a fur-lined hood and looked as if it would go down to his knees; it had definitely been made to withstand some fairly harsh weather, which was exactly what he expected to experience during the winter in Seoul.

Without warning, the teen felt the distinct tickle in his nose that meant he was about to cry. It all had become suddenly real. He was leaving his home, his family, for who knew how long to move in with complete strangers on the off chance that his newly discovered dreams of being an idol would be realized. He suddenly felt doubtful and ridiculous for thinking it would all work out for him; but his family clearly had enough faith in him to let him move across the country. Their support was exhibited in the extravagant gift in his hands.

Before he knew it, he was across the room and in his parents' arms, sobbing quietly into his mother's shoulder. He tried to ignore the fact that he could feel a similar tremble going through her body.

* * *

"Do we have everything?" Taehyung's mother asked breathlessly, blowing a strand of black hair that had fallen from her bun out of her face. She was sitting on the floor of his torn apart bedroom amidst stuffed-to-the-brim suitcases, looking extremely stressed with a frantic look in her eyes.

"I think so, Ma. Anything I forget will just be my fault and I'll learn to live without." He had meant for the comment to ease her nerves, but he quickly realized it had had the opposite effect when she sighed loudly and yanked open the zippers of the suitcases to double-check them once again. Shaking his head in defeat, Taehyung went back to spinning in circles in his desk chair.

It was the night before he was set to move to Seoul, something he was trying very hard to not focus on. Everything had been packed for days, but his mother had spent every waking moment going over checklists of the things they needed to pack and do in preparation for the move. He knew it was just her way of feeling in control during this entirely foreign experience and so he didn't say anything.

Eventually, Jeongyu slinked into the room and skirted around their mother in order to get to his bed. As he passed Taehyung, the older reached out to tussle the younger's hair just to annoy him. Tae was surprised when Jeongyu didn't cry out in irritation like he normally did; in fact, it almost seemed like he had leaned into the touch before pulling away.

But soon the boy had crawled into bed and pulled his comforter up around his head so no one could see his face. Taehyung continued to spin in his chair, waiting for his mother to finish her incessant packing. Finally, she sighed quietly and looked up at him with a sad smile.

"Looks like you're all ready to go." He fought the urge to tell her that she had neither added nor subtracted anything from the suitcases, which meant that they had been fine in the first place. He would let her have this one last action of being his overbearing, but loving mother. Although if he was honest, he knew that moving away and growing up would never stop her from being the same way even from across the country.

"Looks like it." He smiled brightly at her, crinkling his eyes up as he did so. She, however, looked sad. Tae opened his mouth to say something, maybe breach the subject that he would miss her as much as she would miss him. But she got to her feet, whispered goodnight, and slipped from the room before he had the chance.

If he could choose one word that would describe the absolute opposite of his family's dynamic it would be "open." Even Taehyung, who was so abnormally comfortable with skinship, just couldn't bring himself to honestly communicate his feelings with anyone in his life. But then again, maybe that's why skinship was so important to him. When words weren't a possible mode of connection, actions had to be.

After a few more minutes of spinning in his desk chair, he figured it was probably time to get to bed. So Taehyung crossed to the light switch and flicked it off before crawling into his small bed for what seemed like the last time. He knew he had little to no hopes of sleeping, if the butterflies that were battering around his stomach were any indication. He wondered what his future held now that he was turning his back on the safe, comfortable life that his parents had worked so hard to provide for him.

He wondered whether he would be good enough at the dancing and singing that was required of him; he questioned if he was attractive enough to make up for his significant lack of talent and if the fans (if they ever actually acquired any fans) would like him. Looking back on what he could remember of the already chosen (although technically now he was also chosen) members, he tried to think about what they had been like. Would they get along? Would they become close like family or simply stay colleagues that had to interact just to do their jobs?

His mind was so lost in it's own tirade of worries that he didn't register that he was no longer alone in his bed until thin arms wrapped around his waist from behind. Eunjun didn't say anything to him, instead just squeezed him tightly until he rolled onto his back so she could lay her head on his chest.

It would be silly to lie and say he hadn't expected her to sleep with him on this particularly night. They had always been close and while they hadn't talked much about him leaving (his family being so closed off and all of that), he knew it would be the hardest for her. Her presence actually calmed him enough that he began to doze off, much to his surprise. But it was in the moment between consciousness and sleep that he felt another body wedge between him and the wall and he knew that Jeongyu, his stand-offish, angsty little brother had also come to show him his love.

* * *

The next morning came too quickly. Taehyung felt like he had just closed his eyes when the door cracked open and the bright overhead light clicked on. His mother came bustling into the room, already completely dressed and ready to go. She didn't comment on finding her three teenage children tangled up together in the cramped, twin bed. Instead, she nudged Eunjun's leg, which was hanging off the side of the bed, with her own and began shucking suitcases out into the hallway.

When none of the three children moved, she loudly rang out a verse of the American song, _Good morning, good morning! It's great to stay up late, but now it's morning so good morning to you!_ Something told Taehyung that those weren't quite the right lyrics, but he didn't mind. His mother hadn't sung to them in years and it made him smile to hear her clear, feminine voice fill the room. That is, until he looked at the digital alarm clock perched on his desk.

"6:15 in the morning? Mom! What the hell!" He shrieked out and buried his head into the crook of Eunjun's neck to try and block out the now even more annoying light. He felt Jeongyu curl into him once again, very clearly still unconscious.

But then the blanket was ripped off of them, eliciting even more moans and groans. "None of that. We have to get an early start. Everyone needs to shower and get ready. I need your father to pack the car." As she spoke of the man, he appeared in the doorway, looking just as tired and annoyed but unwilling to say anything to his wife. "And I need to make breakfast. So everyone needs to get up! Eunjun, you're first to shower because you take the longest. Go!"

They all knew they had no choice and so they begrudgingly got up. Eunjun disappeared into the bathroom, Jeongyu slipped into the closet (likely to go back to sleep on the floor) and Taehyung stumbled into the living room where he found his grandparents sitting patiently on the couch.

"Halmoni! Halabeoji!" He hugged them swiftly. They made small talk with each other until Tae's mother stuck her head out of the kitchen to order her eldest son into the shower. Within two hours, they were all showered and ready to go. Tae's father locked the front door as they all shuffled out to the family car.

His mother and siblings climbed inside, giving him a moment with his grandparents. His grandfather hugged him swiftly, gruffly mumbling something about making their family proud. Tae smiled and promised he would try his best as his grandfather shuffled off towards his own car, clasping Tae's father on the shoulder as he walked by.

Turning to his grandmother, the teenager swallowed thickly. He knew this would be the hardest goodbye. The older woman had practically raised him; taking care of him as a child when his parents had to work long hours to attend to the fields outside of their town. She had never dampened his personality, celebrating all of his eccentricities even when he grew too old for the more childish ones.

So it was hard for him to look her in the eyes, when he knew they would be swimming with the same tears he was fighting to hold back. But somehow he managed, mirroring her sad smile. He thought he should say something. Make promises that he wasn't sure he could keep. He would come home every weekend. Call every day. Send photos of everyone he met and every place he visited. But when he opened his mouth, nothing would come out.

He was vaguely aware that his father had climbed into the driver's seat of the car, so they were in fact alone. But he still couldn't bring himself to express his feelings. And, as always, his halmoni sensed this. She pulled him into a tight hug and stroked his aways too flat hair. He tried to not notice how far she had to reach upwards to do so.

"Taehyung-" She began, but was quickly interrupted by a loud shout from down the street. They both turned to see Minjun sprinting towards them, panic in his eyes and snow puffing up behind him each time his foot left the ground.

"Wait! Please don't leave yet!" The older boy came to a skidding stop behind Tae and his grandmother, huffing and puffing to draw cold air into his lungs. It was clear that he had run all the way there, from his own house several streets away. "I slept in! I'm such an idiot, I almost missed you!"

Tae chuckled, both relieved and upset that his tense moment with his grandmother had been broken. He turned back to her and gave her another hug. "I'll try to call as often as I can."

"I know you will, dear. Just do me a favor while you're on this new journey." He raised an eyebrow to show that he was receptive to her request. She ran her aged fingers through his hair, smiling so hard that several new lines sprung up beside her eyes. "Be yourself. Don't let anyone hold you back from being who you are. Those that get to know the real you will love you even more because of it."

And with that, she was gone, hobbling off carefully through the snow covered front yard to join her husband. Taehyung let the words sink in and vowed to follow her advice. This new path he was taking didn't have to just be frightening; it could also be a fresh new start, to be himself regardless of what others wanted of him.

He had almost forgotten about Minjun until the older boy cleared his throat. Tae turned towards him, and found a hastily wrapped present being shoved in his face. The older boy grinned wolfishly and shoved it into his arms. Tae simply looked at him blankly, the present perched on his open palms. "What is it?"

"Just open it, you dolt." Minjun rolled his eyes as though he was annoyed, but the grin quickly reappeared as he watched the younger tear through the paper. "It's not as exciting as your jacket." He motioned to the newly tailored coat that Tae was wearing for only the second time. "But I've been saving up my allowance for a few weeks now to get it for you."

Once the paper was shredded and stuffed into Tae's pocket, he finally looked at the folded clump of royal purple yarn left in his hands. He unfurled it to find a thickly woven scarf. It was clearly well made, with tight loops that held their shape extremely well. He didn't even have time to process it before Minjun had pulled it from his fingers to wrap it snugly around his neck.

The dark haired boy felt the soft fabric with his fingertips, "I love it, hyung. Thank you."

Minjun punched him lightly on the shoulder, clearing his throat uncomfortably. "Anytime, man." He glanced behind Taehyung towards the Kim family car. "Well, your mom is getting impatient. And I refuse to let you make this sappy. So get going and text me constantly. About everything. And I'll see you soon, okay?"

Taehyung nodded and stepped backwards towards the car, resting his hand on the handle. There was no point in dragging out the goodbyes any longer. Minjun winked at him and fake curtseyed deeply, which made him chuckle, before sprinting off the way he had come.

When he climbed into the small backseat, he wasn't surprised that Eunjun and Jeongyu were already snoring, ready to spend the ride catching up on sleep. He squeezed himself between the door and a sprawling Eunjun. Even though the three of them were really skinny, they still only barely fit in the back end of the vehicle.

His father turned around to look at him, a small smile forced onto his lips. "Are you ready?" He didn't exactly wait for a reply, just turned away and slid the car out onto the street which was lightly dusted with the last night's snowfall.

Even though his father couldn't see him, Tae nodded before he laid his head against the window. He didn't want to let his mind wonder. He trained his brown eyes on the houses of his childhood neighborhood rushing by, trying to really appreciate what they looked like. Some were in better shape than others, the owners of the tiny residences obviously fighting a losing battle with the ever decreasing property value of the neighborhood.

Before he knew it, they had left the quiet street behind and were merging into a much bigger flow of traffic. It was only a few days after Christmas, which meant that families would be traveling back to their corners of Korea after visiting with extended relatives. The snow that had been consistently falling for a week had luckily not been too heavy and the road crews had been quick to push it to the outermost portions of the road.

As he continued to gaze out the window, Tae heard the quiet sound of his mother singing under her breath. She was singing low enough so as to not wake her children, but loud enough that her husband could focus on it to keep him awake as he drove. It used to be a habit of hers, singing to keep Tae's father from dozing off behind the wheel, but he hadn't seen her do it in years. While his household wasn't particularly depressing, the stress of life had kept if from being the carefree environment of his childhood.

Outside the car, the sun had fully appeared over the horizon, shining brilliantly on what little snow had been left untouched on the grassy banks beside the road. The seventeen year old felt his eyes becoming heavy with the tranquility of the quiet, long car ride. He didn't fight his eyelids as they slipped closed and his breath evened out to a slow, methodical pace.

* * *

He woke to a violent jerk that sent his head cracking against the window it had previously been using as a pillow.

"Move, you idiot! What do you think you're doing?" It was his mother, yelling at the traffic that surrounded them, much denser than when Taehyung had first fallen asleep. He chuckled at her road rage habits as she let out a string of curses at a large suburban that had cut in front of them.

Taehyung realized with a start that they were surrounded by towering, sky-scraping buildings on all sides. They were in Seoul.

It suddenly hit him that within the hour he would be in his new home, with five absolute strangers. They would have complete, unfettered access to murder him in his sleep. Or maybe they wouldn't even wait for that; maybe the minute the door closed behind his parents, he would be slashed open with a machete. It was completely likely considering the freaks he had heard lived in the capital city.

But, no. The guys he had met at the audition seemed cool. Chill even. And even though most looked to be older than him, they were still young. He wasn't being sent to live with any forty year olds or anything creepy.

"Do you know where you're going?" Jeongyu squeaked out, his voice uncharacteristically high. Taehyung noticed that his brother was gripping the "Oh, Shit" handle so hard that his knuckles were white. He forced himself to not laugh, knowing it would only result in a scolding from his mother.

"Yes, I know where I'm going! I am simply having a hard time getting there!" Their father's voice was strained with the stress of driving in such thick traffic. Poor guy. "Mr. Bang told Taehyung to go straight to his new apartment. Which just so happens to be in the busiest part of this whole freaking city, of course!"

Tae's mother made a calming "shushing" sound and sent a look towards the backseat that told the three teenagers to keep their mouths shut until they arrived at their destination. They gladly obliged, pulling out their phones to pass the time.

Eunjun, who was squeezed uncomfortably between the two boys, lay her head on Tae's shoulder. She whispered quietly, "I'm going to miss you, you know."

He nodded, pressing a brisk kiss to the top of her head and smiling happily when she nuzzled into the crook of his neck for a few seconds before pulling away.

Finally, Mr. Kim let out a loud sigh of relief as he pulled the family car off of the street and into an open parking spot running parallel to the sidewalk. "Here we are, kiddos."

The building they now sat in front of looked to be crumbling apart before their very eyes. The entire structure gave off a look as though it was leaning, although Taehyung could clearly see it had just been built wonkily. Hopefully it was safe. There were seven floors in all and many of the places where front windows had once existed were now covered with billowing trash bags in an attempt to block out the chill of winter.

As Taehyung climbed out of the backseat, trying to avoid the piles of gray snow that had gathered on the edge of the sidewalk, he noticed the remains of a bicycle chained to a traffic sign. The wheels and chains had been stolen, leaving only the rusty body of the bike to lean sadly against the pole.

Jeongyu sniffed unhappily, glancing up and down the street. "You should probably lock the doors, Dad. Or we won't have a car when we get back."

"Hush, Jeongyu." Mrs. Kim said in a harsh whisper, but nonetheless nodded at her husband to do that very thing.

"Well, here's my new home I guess." Tae said solemnly, glancing around at the gray buildings running up and down the gray street. Even the air itself had become gray simply upon entering the capital. He didn't remember it looking this gloomy the last time he had been here: the day of the audition. But then again, maybe he had been looking through rose colored lenses at the possibility of getting out of Daegu.

 _This was what you wanted. You got what you wanted. You can't back out now._ So with a stern resolve that he would make the best out of whatever situation this turned out to be, Tae straightened his back and huffed out a heavy breath before turning to help his father pull his bags out of the trunk.

Once all of his suitcases had been dispersed throughout the family so they would only have to take one trip, the brunette pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the text he had received from Mr. Bang the week before in regards to the apartment.

 **Mr. Bang:** U can meet the boyz at ur shared apartment #413K

Tae shoved the phone back into his pocket, grasped the handle of his biggest suitcase and set off into the building with the surety that his family would be following close behind. The front door to the apartment complex swung open much easier than Taehyung had been expecting, due to a heavy gust of wind, dashing against the side of the building with a loud clang. He winced at the noise, but soldiered on into the small lobby.

It was just as gray and decrepit as the exterior had been. Linoleum tiles were covered in scuffs and pulled up at the edges and the once white, but now yellowed wallpaper was also trying to part from the walls. There was one glass door in the entire room, with the word "Office" written on a plaque adorning it, but the lights were off in the room so the Kims figured there was no one there. The only other feature was a large, crumbling cork board with various advertisements stuck to it, some with questionable legality attached to them.

There were stairs leading to the next floor, but no elevator, which made the younger two Kim children groan loudly in response to Tae's assertion that the apartment should be on the fourth floor. But nonetheless, they all started upwards, silently winding up the several flights of stairs.

When they reached the main hallway of the fourth floor, Tae noticed that it was littered with children's toys and bikes, clearly having spilled out of one or more tenant's homes. It took away some of the sinister qualities of the building as a whole, sending a pang of hope through Tae that at least this floor would be safer than the others. He heard his mother let out a held breath, seemingly agreeing that the existence of families in the near vicinity made her feel better as well.

Apartment 413K was the very last door on the right side of the hallway. It had been hard to find at first, since the number "3" had been taken or lost at some point which left only "41 K" to identify it. Taehyung noticed that the peephole in the center of the door had a small cartoon figure drawn around it in pencil, with the peephole replacing the character's eye as if it was peaking out at you the same way one would behind the door. He felt himself smile, hoping beyond hope that this had been done by his new roommates; if it had, it seemed like they would get along grandly.

Despite having led his family up the stairs confidently, Tae felt apprehension overtake him and he took a step back before looking hopefully at his mother. She shook her head before gesturing towards the door; clearly telling him that he needed to be the one to enter first. But he couldn't force himself to move.

Eunjun started forward, but their mother seemed to think that it was an even worse idea and stepped in front of her to knock solidly on the door.

* * *

 **Jungkook's POV (earlier that day):**

"Everybody get the fuck up!" Jin's shrill voice echoed throughout the small apartment, waking Jungkook from a deep sleep. After peeling his face off of the drool puddle on his pillow, the youngest member dared a peek over the side of his bunk to watch his oldest hyung scurry around the shared bedroom.

"Calm down, hyung. We'll get everything done." Namjoon spoke softly as he followed behind Jin, picking up the things the shorter man was tossing around in his 'cleaning' tirade. Jungkook thought about rolling over and going back to sleep; he was willing to deal with Jin's wrath later if it meant getting even a few more minutes of rest before having to go to dance practice.

Yoongi, from his own cocoon of slumber across the room, grumbled out something that sounded like, "Dance later, not now." Jungkook smiled at the mass of blankets that Yoongi's voice emanated from, though they covered him so fully that he wasn't sure which end was his head and which was his feet.

"We don't have dance practice today, you dolt! We have the new member coming in less than three hours!" Jin hissed at Yoongi, beginning to throw the items that had escaped Yoongi's bunk radius onto his sleeping form.

Upon hearing this, Jungkook shot up and stumbled down the bunk's ladder. He had totally forgotten about the new member. The one that he had met at the audition at the studio. The pretty one. Objectively, of course, since he wasn't gay; but it was hard to deny that the guy had a pleasing face.

"Ah, JK, I knew I could count on you." Jin grinned at him before beginning to bark out directions as to what needed to be cleaned and in what order. Jungkook tried to pay attention, but it was hard with his mind preoccupied by the new roommate. Oh and with Namjoon making faces at him from behind their hyung's back.

Finally, Jungkook was released from Jin's tirade and he quickly retreated to their shared bathroom which he had volunteered to clean since no one else was willing. His knees protested when he dropped onto them in order to pull the cleaning supplies out of the cabinet. They had spent the entire week working on different pieces of choreography, many of which would never see the light of day.

And of course, he had been given the main move of sliding across the hardwood floor on his knees. So now he winced in pain at the contact. It was a good thing he didn't spend much time on his knees doing other things.

The thought, random as it was, made him bust out in guffaws. He was clearly too tightly wound from their training if he thought a middle school joke was that funny, but he allowed himself the moment of laughter anyway. Suddenly, he wasn't alone. Namjoon was leaning against the door jam that led to the hallway, smiling down at him with crinkled eyes and puffed cheeks.

"What's so funny?" He asked the younger, his face falling slightly when Jungkook cut off his laughter as abruptly as it had started. Jungkook shrugged. He wished that he could be more comfortable with the older boys, but he just felt so out of place. They all had so much in common, and he was just like a little brother that was tagging along because his mother made him.

Which wasn't all that new of a feeling if he was honest. He had spent his whole life chasing after his older brother, who didn't want anything to do with him half the time when they were young. Most of the resentment had come from how big of an age gap their parents had forced onto them; Jungkook was younger by almost half of a decade. And in this situation, with his fellow group members, he felt wholly out of place and out of his depth.

Jungkook suddenly realized it had been too long since Namjoon has asked him the question, so he awkwardly shrugged and turned back to scrubbing the toilet lid. He heard a noise that he assumed was the older boy leaving, but Namjoon had just moved to clean the sink.

"So I was thinking, I might move bunks." Namjoon spoke quietly. Jungkook tried not to betray his momentary sadness and panic that he had done something to make the older want to move. Currently, Jungkook held the top bunk and Namjoon was in the bottom one below him. It had made the younger happy when he had initially moved into the dorm, having the member he was closest to so close by.

Clearly, he hadn't hidden his feelings very well, because Namjoon rushed on. "Not that you did anything. I just figured since Yoongi and I are working on songs all of the time, it would be easier if we shared a bunk." Jungkook nodded like he understood, but he knew it wasn't convincing. Namjoon continued on like he hadn't seen it, his voice becoming disturbingly nonchalant. "And I figured, the new kid might like to sleep in my current bunk."

"Why?" Jungkook asked forcefully, his ears and neck immediately tinting red.

Shrugging, Namjoon threw the disinfectant wipe he had been using in the small bathroom trash before strolling out into the hallway. Jungkook barely heard his reply of, "I just have a feeling he will."

 _That's stupid. I don't know him any more than anyone else._ Finishing in the bathroom, Jungkook rejoined the rest of the boys in the small living room. The next few hours passed by quickly, with Jin pushing everyone around and demanding they clean every nook and cranny in the apartment.

They had finally all settled on the floor out of exhaustion when there was a sudden knock at the door. Jungkook shot up, his heart suddenly pounding way faster than it made sense for it to be. But he made no move to open the door, so Namjoon struggled to his feet and crossed the room to open it himself.

The Kim family was unsurprisingly gorgeous, to accompany the son they were dropping off. A middle aged woman that was clearly Taehyung's mother entered the apartment first, smiling kindly at each of the awkward teenagers. Her extremely dark hair was cut around her shoulders, with bangs falling into her almond shaped eyes. She was petite, and moved with an understated grace that may have lent itself to dancing in another life. She shook Namjoon's hand first, seeming to sense that he was the one in charge out of the five gangly boys.

Her eyes flicked around the room, a pleased smile seeming to signal that she was happy with the cleanliness and general hominess of the house. Jungkook's own mother had felt the same when she had dropped him off. He remembered thanking Jin for making sure it looked more like a family lived there than a group of rowdy boys. He hadn't thought his mother would have let him stay if it had been gross or dangerous looking.

Jungkook watched as the tiny woman turned her gaze from the apartment to the boys standing awkwardly in front of her. He felt himself stiffen as her gaze fell on him and her eyes widened automatically. He could almost hear her thoughts, _Wow and I thought my son was too young to be here._ But she shook it off as quickly as it had appeared and moved into the apartment further to let those behind her inside.

She was followed by her presumed husband, whose face looked disturbingly similar to his son's. He was considerably taller than Jungkook remembered the new boy to be, so his mother's height must have balanced out his father who was even taller than Namjoon. The man glanced around quickly, shaking hands with them each in turn as they stepped forward. When it was Jungkook's turn, he tried his best to not impatiently tilt his body so he could see behind them as they shuffled into the living room.

Then suddenly he was there; the gorgeous boy from the audition, flanked by a young girl that was bouncing in excitement and a boy that seemed to be Jungkook's age and had headphones in his ears and hair hiding his eyes. Taehyung, Jungkook allowed himself to remember his name now that he was in their apartment, smiled up at Namjoon who was welcoming the family to the dorm.

Jungkook saw the decision take form in Taehyung's eyes before it happened; probably because he was being a major creep and just staring at him. "It's great to see you guys again!" Taehyung let out a little too loudly, before lurching forward to hug the person closest to him. Which just so happened to be Jin.

Everyone seemed to stop breathing at the same time; Taehyung's mother even reached out a hand like she was going to reign in her child if things got any weirder. Namjoon shot a look at a shocked Jin, telling him with his eyes to be nice. But the look wasn't noticed, and luckily didn't need to be.

"Nice to see you too, Taehyung." Jin laughed heartily, wrapping his arms around the lanky boy. "Welcome to the dorm."

The entire room seemed to relax after that, everyone settling into a more relaxed disposition. Jungkook backed up until he was leaning against the wall in the corner of the room, watching as everyone was introduced. The younger two kids, Taehyung's younger siblings, were called Jeongyu and Eunjun.

Jeongyu didn't seem particularly interested in mingling with them and, as soon as his mother had let go of his shoulder, slunk to the corner opposite of Jungkook. Clearly, the sixteen year old idol trainee could relate. When they caught eyes, he nodded his hello.

Eunjun, however, was lively and excited. She had very quickly latched on to Yoongi, of all people, which was hilarious to Jin, Hoseok, and Namjoon. Jungkook blushed with the realization that the girl might have had a crush on the much older boy when she started calling him "oppa" and asking him to show her around the apartment.

Hoseok, after prompting from Jin, stepped forward and took the suitcases that the family had sat next to the door before shuffling them back into their shared bedroom. _Just be normal._ Jungkook mumbled repeatedly to himself in his head as he glanced around the room, waiting to be told what to do or say.

"And this is our baby, Jeon Jungkook." Jin wrapped his arm around the youngest's shoulders, pulling him away from the safety of the wall to shake hands with the parents. He managed to act like a normal human, trying to ignore the slightly pitying look that had materialized on Mrs. Kim's face; that is until he glanced over at Taehyung and found that the boy was staring at him with open curiosity. He managed to smile shyly and was rewarded with a blinding, boxy smile.

"Hi, Jungkook. I don't know if you remember me…" Jin and Taehyung's parents had wandered off down the short hallway, probably to be given the grand tour of their tiny home.

The younger cut him off quickly, "I do. Remember you, I mean." He got another smile for that. An eyes crinkling, smile lines stretching kind of smile that made his breath catch in his throat. Something was erupting in the youngest boy's stomach that was hard to ignore. A crush, maybe? A man crush? But that was ridiculous and Jungkook was determined to not think about it too much.

Taehyung, while being reintroduced to the rest of the members, had given each of them a hug to mirror the one Jin had received. But with Jungkook, he seemed hesitant to even touch him. The younger boy tried to not let it bother him. Maybe he looked as skittish and nervous as he felt; maybe Taehyung could sense that it wouldn't go over as well with the youngest of his five new roommates.

So instead, the new guy reached out to tap Jungkook's shoulder lightly, a shy smile slipping across his face for a moment before he turned to Namjoon, who was beckoning him away from Jungkook.

He slipped back into silence as everyone got to know each other, sitting quietly in the living room when everyone traipsed into the bedroom to show Taehyung his new bed (Namjoon had in fact moved) below Jungkook's. He watched enviously as Taehyung got comfortable with the others, laughing at Jin's outrageous explanations of their normal routines and the bickering between the most energetic in the house and Suga, who was the personification of a pillow.

And then soon it was time for the Kim family to leave. They didn't seem to want to stay for lunch, although Jin offered more than once to cook for the entire group. Nevermind that there was definitely not enough food in the house, or money in their small grocery budget, to feed four extra people. But the boys politely offered, and the Kim family politely declined.

Mrs. Kim turned to Taehyung almost reluctantly, clearing her throat quietly and licking across her lips as if she was unsure what to say. This part was familiar, the sad, awkward goodbye that they had each gone through the day they moved in.

"Well it was really nice to meet you all. We promise we'll take care of Taehyung." Namjoon spoke for all of them, smiling widely with closed eyes to show his sincerity in the promise. Jin, J-Hope, Jungkook, and Yoongi all said simple goodbyes in turn; the latter having to detach himself from Eunjun as gently as possible. Taehyung helped him out by pulling his younger sister into his side, wrapping his arm securely around the girl's shoulder.

When Taehyung glanced up and noticed that Jungkook was watching him again, he winked and shot him a boxy smile. _Be normal._ The sixteen year old grimaced and pulled his phone out of his pocket to have something to make him look busy.

But then, the five boys slipped discreetly into the bedroom so Taehyung could say goodbye to his family in peace. Suga crawled immediately into his bed, grumbling unhappily when J-Hope began to tease him quietly about Eunjun's obvious infatuation with him.

Jungkook, and now also Taehyung's bunk, was closest to the door and therefore he felt like he couldn't rightfully sit in his own bed without feeling like he was eavesdropping. So he settled on Jin's which was the bottom bed, one bunk over. Jin and Namjoon were lounging on the floor, murmuring to each other about their options for food.

The maknae turned his gaze towards Taehyung's bunk. The bed was already made; his mother must have done it when they had brought him to the bedroom earlier. But his suitcases were unpacked, just like Jungkook's. The only difference was Jungkook had been living in the dorm for months and had yet to settle in. Something told him that it wouldn't take very long for Taehyung to settle in, to the house or their small pseudo-family.

Namjoon made them all wait a few minutes after they heard the front door close before reemerging, everyone pretending to not notice Taehyung wiping at his face. Even tear streaked and puffy, the guy looked angelic. _His face will get us a lot of fans._ It wasn't the first thought that had entered Jungkook's brain, but it was the only one he allowed himself to acknowledge.

"Well," Namjoon plopped down onto his normal spot on the couch. It only had three seats and, for the most part, only Namjoon, Jin and Yoongi got to sit on it regularly. J-Hope was always too antsy to sit for long anyway and Jungkook much preferred his seat on the floor in the corner of the room. He found himself settling there now, almost as if being there made him invisible. _I prefer being invisible._

"Welcome to Seoul, Taehyung. We don't really have anything serious to do today. So we figured we'd just hang out around the house and answer any questions you might have." The leader quirked his eyebrow, welcoming the aforementioned questions, but Taehyung didn't seem to really have any.

They all waited, knowing that something would come to mind eventually, and sure enough, the new member shifted from side to side before glancing around the room. "I guess I just want to know more about you guys. Since you're basically my new family now."

Namjoon nodded, as if it was what he was expecting to be asked. It wasn't what Jungkook had expected; he remembered asking when curfew was, what the shower schedule would be, and how often they would have practice at the studio. He remembered immediately falling into a routine of deferring to Namjoon with all questions or concerns; despite having previously been the youngest, before Jungkook showed up, Namjoon seemed to really be in charge of everything.

"I'm Kim Namjoon, obviously." Jungkook envied the easy smile that appeared on the older guy's face. "My stage name is Rap Monster, but we don't really call each other by our stage name's around the house. That's something you'll have to figure out: your stage name. But I wouldn't worry about it too much right now. I guess I'm the leader of the group. Did they ever even tell you the name of the group?"

When Taehyung shook his head, Namjoon chuckled. "Well it's Bangtan Sonyeondan, Bulletproof Boyscouts, you know? Anyway, I guess I'm the leader, but I'm not the oldest. I used to have your bunk, but now my bunk is over Jin's." He seemed to purposefully not mention that the rearrangement of the bunks had only happened that morning. Jungkook tried to force an unnecessary blush from rising up his neck. "Hmm.. what else? I'm one of the rappers and I can't dance very well. But you probably saw that during your audition."

"I think I vaguely remember being stepped on once or twice." Taehyung teased lightly, his hesitant smile widening when Namjoon didn't seem to take offence. And that's how it went for a while, each of them giving a tiny rundown of their position in the band, as well as tiny glimpses into what life is actually like for an idol trainee. Taehyung teasing each of them in turn, only endearing himself more to them with his easy smile and lighthearted humor.

Jungkook had started to space out when he heard his name being called by multiple voices. He glanced up from his lap to see five sets of eyes trained on him; some were annoyed, some filled with a sad kind of understanding, but one set was filled with pure curiosity.  
"Oh, sorry hyungs. Um, I'm Jeon Jungkook. Dancer and singer, I guess. Maknae of the group. Still am, I guess. And… that's about it. Nothing special." He kept it short and sweet. There really wasn't anything special about him. He wasn't a great rapper like Namjoon or Suga, wasn't a pro at dancing like Hoseok, and his face definitely wouldn't pull in any fans the way Jin's would. There just wasn't much to say; he was just a sixteen year old twerp that was out of his element and extremely homesick.

But clearly his hyung's disagreed. Vehemently. "Whatever!" Hoseok chuckled out in disbelief. "Don't listen to a word he says, Taehyung. This boy is our _golden_ maknae. He's the best singer of us all and his dancing is definitely nothing to sneeze at either."

"Yeah, our little Jungkookie is just a little shy." Jin pouted his lips and made kissy faces at the now blushing teen. "Part of being sixteen, I guess. I can't relate. I was always this confident."

Taehyung's eyes had grown wide, "You're sixteen?" When Jungkook didn't answer him, he just continued to shake his head in disbelief. "But you're so young looking. I thought you were only like thirteen. Fourteen at the most."

That stung. Probably more than it should have. And Jungkook didn't know how to play it off like it didn't, so he just opted to continue not saying anything. Namjoon tried to turn the room's attention away from the maknae, but Taehyung continued to shoot him glances the entire time they talked.

After a while, of everyone chatting happily and Jungkook feeling trapped in the corner, unsure of how rude it would be to just leave in the middle of it all, Jin rose to his feet and cracked his knuckles. "Alright, Taehyung. You now get to experience the best part of living with me. I'm going to get started on dinner."

This had everyone moving, with Namjoon and Suga offering to walk a few blocks down the street to buy drinks for everyone and J-Hope and Jin shuffling into their small, galley kitchen to begin prepping the meat. Jungkook took it as his chance to leave, disappearing down the hall and closing the bedroom door behind him quietly.

He felt bad; he was one of the few members that could actually help Jin in the kitchen without burning the place down. But he just wasn't in the mood for more interaction. The day had been surprisingly stressful and draining. He just needed a few minutes to himself; to recharge.

He had just settled into his bed and was about to put in his headphones when the bedroom door opened. He almost threw something at whoever it was that had entered, as he would have at his real home with his real brother, but he caught himself. He figured he could just stay still enough that no one would notice him.

But then dark hair appeared over the side of his bunk, and then almond shaped eyes were even with his. "Hi there!"

Taehyung was too energetic, Jungkook decided, wondering when he had turned into a grandpa like Yoongi. He was too energetic and wanted to be in his face too much. That would be enough to ruin whatever this strange attraction to him was; it had to, or Jungkook was going to go insane.

"What are you up to, Jungkookie?" The nickname in Taehyung's mouth made him feel strange, like he was lightheaded but also like his body weighed a ton and was going to pull him down through the floor. His lack of a response didn't seem to bother Taehyung, who suddenly slung his body onto the bunk.

The maknae shuffled his lower body backwards, to sit on the opposite end of the bed. _What's wrong with this guy?_ He tried to force himself to be more annoyed, but he couldn't seem to get there. _What's wrong with me?_

"I guess we're going to be bunk buddies! I'm the bottom and you're the top!" Jungkook let out a sharp guffaw, doubling over in laughter. Taehyung didn't seem to understand what was going on for a minute, but suddenly it seemed to click and he joined in, laughing heartily until tears were streaming out of both of their eyes.

Maybe this would work out after all.


	5. Chapter Five: Converse High

Chapter Five: Converse High

 **Taehyung's POV:**

Tae's first night in the dorm was awful.

Well, it went alright until he was actually laying in his bed, trying to sleep. Looking back on the day made him both more exhausted and more wired than he'd ever been in his life. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to block out the sounds of the city; the ever honking cars on the street, a particularly unhappy couple fighting a few floors above them, the gentle breathing of five other sleeping boys surrounding him. It was completely new to him, and he swallowed down a panic that began to rise up in his throat.

His arrival to the dorm had produced a seemingly happy reception. It had almost been a test of their openness, when Taehyung had thrown himself in Jin's arms upon arrival. The words of his halmoni echoed in his head, _Be yourself. Don't let anyone hold you back from being who you are._ So he hadn't. He'd done the first thing that crossed his mind; hug everyone in the room. Well, almost everyone. He hadn't felt it right to bombard Jungkook in such a way.

Jungkook. Little, baby Jungkook, whose front teeth were slightly too big to be easily hidden by his almost nonexistent upper lip. It made him look like a bunny, like an overgrown toddler. But he was sixteen. Only two years younger than Taehyung, and the same age as Jeongyu. The more Tae thought about it, the more Jungkook seemed to perfectly resemble Jeongyu. They were both quiet and reserved; neither were willing to join the crowd without some major prompting.

But Jungkook didn't have the same chip on his shoulder that seemed permanently imprinted on Jeongyu's. He just seemed.. Shy. And completely out of his element. Taehyung felt drawn to him immediately. Maybe it was because he saw potential in the maknae that he had never seen in his own younger brother. Maybe he, eccentric, rambunctious, oftentimes-too-much Taehyung, would pull this kid out of his little introverted box. Something he was never able to do for Jeongyu.

Now laying in his bed, Taehyung shook his head to clear it. If he thought about his little brother any more it would lead to thinking about his sister and parents and the sorrowful goodbye that he would like to both forget immediately and cherish forever.

 _His new roommates had said goodbye to his family before leaving the room. It had taken Namjoon a couple of tries before getting Hobi's attention enough to follow them down the hall. Taehyung had felt grateful; he didn't want the others to see him cry like a baby being left at daycare for the first time._

 _Eunjun had immediately began sobbing, dramatic as ever but entirely sincere in her emotions. "I'm going to miss you so much. It won't be the same without you." She had melted into Tae's arms, her hot tears bouncing off the designer jacket he still had on for some reason. As if he planned to leave with them._

" _Please text me. I know you're going to be so busy, but I just can't imagine not talking to you all the time." He assured her he would, kissing her head and hugging her tightly before she stepped backwards to cry into their father's shirt instead._

 _When he turned his eyes on Jeongyu, the younger boy shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Guess I'll see you around, hyung." Tae couldn't possibly accept that, so he dragged the boy in for a deep hug. He wasn't super hurt when it wasn't returned; he had shown his love for his brother in a way that he knew the boy wouldn't allow himself to return._

 _His mother simply kept repeating that she refused to cry, but ended up crying anyway. Which made him bust out into gut-wrenching sobs as he clung to her small frame. She made him promise to keep up on his homework, to not squander his second option of further schooling if the idol business didn't work out. He promised, becoming more unsure of his choice than ever before._

 _She continued to list off things that he couldn't forget to do, until Tae's father gently pushed her towards the door, where Eunjun was still sobbing. "Do your best. Just show the world how talented and compassionate you are and you'll go far. We will miss you, son."_

 _He had hugged his father for only a moment, but it was the embrace that managed to calm his nerves the most. He hoped that one day he would be just like his father; maybe not in occupation, but in disposition. He would care for his family and solidly support those around him that needed him the most._

 _And then they were gone. Each of them waving as they left the apartment; Tae waved back at them until his father pulled the door shut with a soft click. He had sat down heavily on the edge of the couch, forcing himself to take calming breaths until his tear ducts began to dry up._

Then his roommates had joined him in the tiny living room, and he realized that he wasn't actually as alone as he felt. They had all probably gone through the exact same thing and now they were fine, moving on and working towards a common goal. He vowed that he would try to do the same.

The rest of the evening had been spent goofing around in the living room, becoming even more comfortable as the minutes ticked by. It had gotten pretty late before Namjoon had insisted that they all head to bed, mentioning to Taehyung that, since classes at his new high school didn't start up again until the following week, they were going to have all-day schedules of dancing and vocal lessons for the next few days. He had thought to himself that the day had been emotionally taxing enough and had worn him out enough, that he would fall right to sleep.

But now, laying in his new, too hard bed, staring up at the bottom of the bunk above him, Tae couldn't settle his mind enough to sleep. He had finally decided that he would put in his headphones and try listening to music to at least pass the time, when he felt shifting above him.

Suddenly, legs were flung over the bunk above him before Jungkook landed softly on the floor next to Taehyung's head. The boy was so light that his soft thud barely made any noise at all. Taehyung watched as Jungkook reached into a suitcase for something before slipping out the bedroom door and into the darkened hallway.

Taehyung only gave him a few seconds of a head start before he was frantically pulling a sweater on over his thin t-shirt and stumbling out of the bedroom. He found the younger boy doubled over by the front door, very clearly putting on his shoes. Taehyung was glad for the nightlight that Jin had joked about leaving in the living room so Namjoon didn't kill himself on the way to the kitchen.

"What are you doing?"

Tae's question made Jungkook shoot up, spinning around with excuses perched on his lips before he saw who it was that had caught him. He visibly relaxed before turning back to his shoe laces.

"Nothing, hyung. Just go back to bed."

Taehyung snorted as loudly as he dared, then snuck around the coffee table to grab his own shoes. "No way am I letting an actual infant go out into Seoul by himself this late at night." He saw that Jungkook was eyeing the door like he planned to sprint out of the apartment before Tae was fully ready to follow him. "Don't even think about it. Unless you want me to wake everyone else."

Jungkook glowered at the older boy; but eventually his face relaxed, leaving only his teeth gnawing at his lower lip as a sign that he was still conflicted. Tae figured the boy had decided not to fight when he finished tying his own shoe laces and the maknae was still standing in the doorway. Motioning the boy forward, Tae tucked his phone into his back pocket and followed him out into the creepily dark hallway.

Neither of them said anything until they were well away from their front door, although Taehyung was humming quietly to himself as he followed a few steps behind Jungkook. When they finally reached the stairwell that Taehyung had climbed for the very first time only hours before, he was surprised to find the younger boy heading up rather than down towards the lobby.

"Where are we going, Jungkookie?" He noticed the younger boy stiffen visibly at the nickname, but was determined to ignore it for some reason. He thrust himself forward to be next to, rather than behind, Jungkook. Maybe he had a girlfriend a few floors above them that he visited when the others were asleep. The possibility made Tae frown, but there was no way the kid would have let him tag along if that was his destination. He decided to let himself be led; he wasn't a particularly goal-oriented person. Even if they were just walking for the sake of walking, that would be fine with him. It's not like he had been even close to sleep.

It was clear that Jungkook was in much better shape than Taehyung. It took all of his energy to keep up as they ascended three entire flights of stairs. He was out of breath, a few steps behind, and had a stitch in his side by the time they reached the top of the stairs.

"No way, Jungkook. It's so fucking cold outside." The door they had climbed to was clearly marked _Roof._ Taehyung stared at the sixteen year old in disbelief when his face split into a smug, cocky smirk that completely transformed his face. Normally, Taehyung would have asserted that such a look wouldn't do much to a face as young as Jungkook's. But when it actually happened, it seemed to age him. Only slightly; enough to send Taehyung's heart fluttering a little bit too frantically.

He knew logically that the boy was only two years younger than him. But he seemed so much younger most of the time that it was hard to conceptualize. Yet the smirk had seemingly changed that; giving him a glimpse into the man he would become. When his jaw would become square and the baby fat would leave his cheeks. Tae shook his head to clear it, well aware that the lips that he was so focused on had morphed into a mocking grimace.

"You didn't have to come with me. I didn't force you to follow me like a creep." With that, Jungkook pushed the door open wide and disappeared onto the roof. The older boy tried not to cry out when the gust of cold air that had been let into the stairwell hit him square in the face, sending his teeth to chattering. _Who in their right mind spends their time on the roof of a building in the middle of the night in the middle of fucking winter? Jeon Jungkook, of course._

He considered turning around and slinking back into his bed, which he was beginning to think he never should have left. But, as though it was his body's intention to betray him, his arms reached out and pushed the door open to allow his traitorous feet to carry him onto the gravel topped roof. And suddenly he understood.

Being in downtown Seoul (the absolute slummy edges, mind you, but still downtown), it was as if night hadn't even fallen. The sky was lit up all around them like stars that blinked in time with his heartbeat. It was freezing, but for a moment Tae found himself forgetting that he was standing in a thick sheet of snow and just basked in the beauty of the city that had seemed so gray and unwelcoming only hours before. But then he did remember that there was snow, and he began to hop from foot to foot as it fell into his low top, scuffed up converse.

"Get over here, you freak." Jungkook's voice came from behind him. He spun around to see the dark haired boy sitting under the side awning of the roof entrance they had just come from. The stairwell rose slightly above the rest of the building, leaving a small shack-like structure with a small overhang that Jungkook was using as shelter from the lightly falling snow. He had cleared the snow off a small bench that rested unevenly against the wall of the shack, probably having been left there by smokers who used the roof in the warmer months.

Taehyung shuffled over to join him, burying his hands deeply into the pockets of his sweatpants. Why, oh why, had he left his coat downstairs? More importantly, why had he felt compelled to follow a literal stranger out into the night? He could lie and say it was to protect the younger boy, but he knew he was just as frail and non-menacing. No, he was simply just curious as to where the conspicuously quiet boy slipped off to when no one was looking; you know, because everyone was asleep.

Once Tae had settled on the other side of the bench he felt the slicing wind die off and the night go still. He sat so far to his side of the bench that his side was being cut into by the arm of the structure; it was all to give Jungkook plenty of space. Something told him cuddling would not have been particularly welcome to Jeon Jungkook. Therefore he was surprised when the younger's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, yanking him across the bench so violently that he almost fell face first into the other's lap.

"Here." Jungkook held up the edge of the blanket he had brought with him to the roof, nodding towards it as an insistence that Taehyung slip beneath it as well. The older boy didn't hesitate and moved underneath the cloth, sighing happily at the warmth that Jungkook's body was giving off.

"Thank you, Kookie."

Jungkook stiffed, his face dissolving into a scowl that pulled his dark, straight eyebrows down his forehead. His whole body seemed to shrink away from Taehyung's, though it was only microscopically. "Why are you calling me that?"

Refusing to be swayed by his attitude, Taehyung shrugged as though completely unconcerned. "I can't be bothered to say your full name all the time. You can call me Tae; you know, to shorten Taehyung."

The eyebrows that had been furrowed now sprung up and disappeared under dark bangs. "Shouldn't I be calling you hyung? Not your name?"

Another shrug. "You can call me whatever you like. The honorifics aren't important to me. Unless you want to call me Oppa. I'm cool with that."

The accompanying wink sent Jungkook into a frenzy of scoffs, spitting and shrugs. Tae had meant to tease the younger boy, but he felt his own cheeks warming in response to his own remark. "Joke." Jungkook quickly nodded and crossed his arms over his chest as he worked his bottom lip between his teeth. Tae tried to watch him out of the corner of his eye, but he was sure he was being too obvious. Jungkook was staring out at the lights, his head leaned back against the wall behind them.

"Why did you come up to the roof?" Tae asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the serenity of the night around them now that he was fully appreciating it. He did note that, despite being up so high in the air, there were no real stars above them; just the faux constellations created by Seoul's highrises. He thought about his home, where the stars could be seen almost all of the time; where Minjun and he had camped in the Kim family fields during the summer and giggled at the various dirty images they could find to replace said constellations. It was like looking for animals in the clouds, but the degenerate version that only teenage boys could find funny.

It took so long for the younger male to answer, Tae had almost forgotten he had asked a question. "I just like it up here, I guess." Tae nodded, worried that speaking would discourage Jungkook from saying more. "The apartment is so cramped all the time. So loud. I'm used to the quiet, and sometimes I need to just be alone."

A pang of embarrassment shot through Taehyung. He had followed Jungkook without invitation, encroached on his personal time, and was now demanding answers about his strange habits. He felt bad, but he guessed there wasn't much he could do now except leave. He sat up, but didn't immediately rise to his feet. "Oh, well. I'm sorry, Jungkook. I can go."

He really had meant it; that he would go, but he couldn't deny the relief he felt when the other boy shook his head and said, "No, you're okay. Just- please don't tell anyone else about this. They'd be worried. Especially Namjoon, you know?"

"Why would they be worried? It's just a roof. Just personal space." Taehyung desperately wanted to keep Jungkook talking. This was more than he had spoken all evening, and it was just to him. He felt special, like maybe Jungkook liked him as much as he liked him. Platonically, of course. He had thought he would adjust to his new life with ease, but now he found himself desperate to connect to someone.

He missed Minjun, who had texted him sparsely throughout the evening. He missed the feeling of being around someone who already knew him so well that there was nothing left to discover; someone he could just be himself around without worrying about the impression he was leaving. That's not to say that his new roommates were making him feel self-conscious; he just hadn't completely felt them out yet. But Jungkook.. Well, something about him both calmed Taehyung's nerves completely and also set his body ablaze with electricity.

"Namjoon thinks I'm not fitting in enough, I think. He doesn't say it, but he just- well, he tries to pull me into the group, but I just don't seem to… you know, fit in." A minute of silence passed slowly. "But I do like everyone. Namjoon and Jin really seem like replacement parents. J-Hope is really nice and such a good dancer; you'll see that tomorrow. Even Yoongi.. He's really funny. I don't know. I think it's just me. I think I just suck."

Taehyung smiled softly, trying to portray his affection towards the younger boy. His smile widened when it was returned by a shy smirk from Jungkook. "I don't think you suck. I think you're just shy. It's cute."

Without thinking, he reached out and hooked his forefinger under Jungkook's chin, lifting it lightly before letting his hand fall away. Tae tried to ignore the strange shift in Jungkook's eyes as he stared at him; he also tried to ignore the pit in his stomach that had appeared upon touching his soft skin.

The roof fell silent after that, and the two boys began to breathe in sync, falling slowly into a light slumber. Neither of them were conscious enough to notice Tae's head grow heavy and fall into the crook of Jungkook's shoulder. Neither of them noticed Jungkook's own head settle on top of Tae's.

* * *

Taehyung was dreaming about swimming through jello, a much less pleasant dream that one would think, when he was woken up by someone vigorously shaking his shoulders. His first realization was that he was freezing. Way colder than he should have been had he been curled under his blankets in his bed.

His eyes flew open. The roof. He was still on the roof. And so was Jungkook, who was the culprit of the shaking. The sun was just beginning to peek through the gaps between buildings, lighting up the city with a lazy, golden glow. Tae thought that if it wasn't so cold, he would sit on the roof and watch the sunrise until the whole thing was visible in the sky.

But it _was_ cold. And Jungkook was snapping his fingers in front of his face, his voice dripping with urgency and panic filling his doe-like eyes. "Hyung! We've got to go before the others wake up. Please, snap out of it. We've got to go!"

This managed to capture Tae's attention, and he stood up on cold and sleep stiffened legs. He opened his mouth to apologize; for following the boy, for interrogating him, for falling asleep on his shoulder. But his throat was scratchy and painful; he would definitely be getting sick. More importantly, Jungkook wasn't going to wait for him to say anything; the younger boy grabbed Tae's hand, slung the now-snow-dampened blanket over his own shoulder and began to sprint down the several flights of stairs to their floor. Tae cried out at the sudden movement, but ultimately just latched onto Jungkook's hand so he wouldn't slip and let his legs shuffle down the stairs at a record pace.

Reaching their floor, they flung themselves through the stairwell door and hurdled over the toys that Taehyung had found so comforting the day before. When they reached the door to their apartment, Jungkook pulled out a small, silver key and opened the door as quietly as he could, squeezing his eyes shut as if that would protect him from what was on the other side.

As they snuck into the dark living room, Jungkook motioned for Tae to toe his shoes off so their footfall wouldn't make noise. He obliged, dropping Jungkook's hand as he pulled his damp hoodie over his head. They started towards the bedroom; Tae could sense that Jungkook hoped they would have time to sneak into their bunks before anyone else woke up.

But voices coming from the bedroom made the younger stop so abruptly that Tae slammed into the back of him. He reached out to grab the maknae's slim waist to steady him before leaning forward to whisper in his ear, "Let's just pretend we fell asleep out here. You grab the couch. I'll curl up on the floor." He felt the younger boy shiver as his lips brushed his ear, but he pulled away and pretended to not notice.

The door to the bedroom began to open, throwing the two of them back into action. Jungkook leaped over the coffee table and collapsed face-down into the couch cushions. Even at 16, he was taller than the couch was long, so his feet stuck over the edge; the whole thing looked so ridiculous that Tae had to bite back a giggle as he slumped into the fetal position on the floor next to the couch. Just as feet were traipsing towards them, Jungkook leaned over to toss the blanket they had used outside over Taehyung's body.

"Well, that's odd. I guess they slept out here." Jin's voice seemed to be moving from the hallway entrance towards the kitchen. "They did go to bed in the room right?" Someone must have nodded in confirmation, because there was no verbal answer. "Strange. Anyway, wake them up, please, Joonie. We've got to be out of here in half an hour."

"If I wake them up, someone else has to tackle Yoongi. I refuse to be cussed out again this early in the morning." The leader's gruff morning voice was now coming from directly over Taehyung. Tae slowed his breathing, trying to keep his fingers and toes from twitching and giving it away that he was definitely not asleep. But he had done this countless times and if his mother had never caught on, a sleep deprived, blurry eyed Namjoon sure as hell wasn't going to notice.

He felt a soft kick to his thigh and sensed the tall body leaning over him to nudge Jungkook awake as well. "Hey guys. You need to get up. We've got to go."

Tae waited for the older boy to nudge him again before he let his eyes flutter open. He knew it was convincing when Namjoon smiled brightly down at him before shuffling towards the kitchen, already returning to bickering with Jin about the responsibility of waking Yoongi. When Tae glanced up, he noticed that Jungkook's giant eyes were open and trained on him. He could see humor in them as the boy mimicked the batting of eyelashes Tae had performed moments earlier as he "woke up."

"Was that supposed to be convincing?" The younger boy teased quietly, rising from the couch and stepping around Tae to head towards the bedroom. He hissed loudly when Tae reached out and pinched his calf in retaliation, but continued walking, a small smile flashing across his lips as he went.

 _I could get used to this._ The apartment was filling with the noises of begrudgingly awakened teenagers. He could hear Namjoon and Jin shuffling around the kitchen, teasing each other softly about things Tae couldn't hear. He could hear J-Hope singing loudly in the bathroom, having slipped in for a quick shower before anyone else could lay claim. He could even hear Yoongi griping loudly at Jungkook, who had apparently made the mistake of flicking the lights on in the bedroom without a proper countdown and warning.

 _It feels like home already._

* * *

Taehyung had never had many friends; just one or two at a time, that weaved in and out of his life as the years passed by. The only consistency had been Minjun, who remained by his side for the long haul. But it had mostly only been the two of them. So it felt different, good even, to be a part of a group.

The six boys were stumbling through the snow together, some hissing at the cold more than others. Tae caught Jungkook's eye when they began to complain about returning to their warm beds rather than freezing to death outside; the younger looked away when Tae winked at him. Something about the night before made Tae feel like he had a connection with the maknae; like the secret he was keeping for the boy was now their secret that they would hold together. When they finally reached the Big Hit studio from Tae's second audition, Suga was crankier than ever and Jin was holding tightly to Namjoon's arm like the proximity would actually succeed in warming him up. Tae followed them dutifully as they all burst into the lobby and headed quickly towards the practice room.

They each bowed deeply to the woman that sat behind the counter in the lobby; Tae quickly realized it was the same woman that had been rude to he and his father during the audition. He couldn't bring himself to not bow at all, so he made it shallow before running to catch up with the swiftly moving group. Feeling entirely out of his element, the eighteen year old vowed to just watch and follow the leads of everyone else. They seemed to know what they were doing.

So he settled on the floor to stretch when everyone else did, biting back questions of what they would be doing and how it all would be done. Normally he was more easy going than this, but he found himself to be so nervous that his mouth strained with the need to babble at someone, anyone. And luckily for him, anyone had just walked into the room.

"Doyun-ssi!" Tae said the older boy's name a little louder and more enthusiastically than he probably should have. He winced as he noticed all five of his fellow members swing to look at him before glancing towards the assistant producer that had just entered the practice room. They seemed surprised that Tae knew the guy's name, much less knew him well enough to greet him in such a way. It made Tae self conscious; that is until Doyun's face split into an equally excited grin as he crossed the room quickly to grasp his hand and pull him from the floor to be enveloped by a hug.

"Taehyung! They had told me you'd be coming soon, but I had no idea it was today. How was the trip up? When did you get here?" The easy friendliness that had settled between the two made Tae's nerves settle. He could sense that everyone in the room was watching them, but he assumed it was more out of curiosity than anything.

He pulled back from the hug after letting it linger for a few seconds. "My family dropped me off yesterday. The trip was good, I think; I slept through most of it so I can't really say."

Doyun laughed, reaching out to touch what Tae assumed were dark circles surrounding his eyes. "You sure you slept, dongsaeng? You look really tired." Tae flushed, leaning into the touch for a moment before his eyes began guiltily searching the room for Jungkook, but he realized the boy was on the complete other side of the room, facing away, with his headphones in. "Anyway," Doyun pulled his hand back hesitantly, hopefully not noticing Tae's glances. "I'm glad you're here. You'll have to let me show you around the city once you're all settled in. I grew up here, so I know all the good places to go."

Coming from anyone else, the line would have come off as cheesy at best and atrociously cocky at worst. But from Doyun, with his kind smile and his honey streaked hair falling into his eyes, Tae felt like the offer was genuine. He briefly wondered if he should make it clear to Doyun that he wasn't gay, but then questioned why he even felt it a necessary thing to bring up. Was he even flirting with him? Surely not, but Tae admitted that he didn't have much experience in the department in general, much less when it dipped into the realm of actual homosexuality. He was Korean, born and raised; he knew what it meant to be gay in his country.

So like he had any other time the panic, call it gay panic if you'd like, rose up in his throat, Tae swallowed it down and smiled boxily at the older boy. "Of course. I'd love to see around the city. Thanks, hyung."

Doyun looked like he wanted to say more, his eyes dropping from Taehyung's eyes to his mouth a few times, but suddenly Yoongi was there, clearing his throat quietly. It shocked Tae slightly; Yoongi hadn't been mean or even really standoffish since he had arrived, but he hadn't been very forthcoming towards the new member either. "We need to start, Doyun. If you don't mind."

This didn't seem to bother the other boy, who shrugged and grinned down at Yoongi. Tae suddenly realized the guy was probably over six feet tall. Which to every girl on the planet, and apparently Kim Taehyung as well, was a major positive. But it also made it laughable when Doyun bowed to Yoongi, who was so considerably shorter. Taehyung wondered who was older out of his two hyung's; he found himself hoping that Doyun was as close to his own age as he had initially thought.

Yoongi didn't move from Taehyung's side until Doyun had clasped him on the shoulder and told him to break a leg; he didn't move, but he also didn't say anything, until the producer had disappeared from the room altogether. Tae noticed that music was playing over the speakers, probably to encourage the stretching that the other four boys were doing, loud enough to keep Yoongi's next words from everyone else in the room.

"Look, kid. It's not my place. But if you're going to keep our maknae out at all hours of the night, at least have the decency to not flirt with a producer right in front of his face. That boy is as fragile as glass; don't shatter him." It didn't really come out as a threat, more as a plea for mercy. Taehyung didn't even really feel like Yoongi was being cruel, just honest and protective over the sweet sixteen year old that was across the room from them, staring at the ground with a terrifying blankness in his eyes.

Tae felt himself getting hot with embarrassment. He didn't know which part to dispute first. There was clearly no point in denying that they had not been in the apartment the night before; Yoongi obviously knew, but so far it seemed that he hadn't told the others. Tae just hoped that he hadn't ruined Jungkook's one attempt at privacy and personal space in the tiny apartment they were being sardined into. But he could for sure deny the accusation that lay beneath Yoongi's statement. There was nothing going on between him and Jungkook; and for that matter, there was nothing going on with Doyun either. Had he been flirting? With either of them? He didn't think so, but he vowed to watch himself in case he was. He wanted to say that Jungkook didn't seem that fragile, or question why his fragility would have anything to do with Tae and Doyun's conversation.

But Tae didn't do any of those things. He respected Yoongi immensely, for reasons he couldn't even really put into words. However, he now knew that the tiny, dark haired man was all-knowing and all-seeing. The thought was slightly terrifying, but he let the terror roll off his back.

In the end all he managed to squeak out was, "Yes, hyung. I'll be more considerate." But this seemed to satisfy the older boy who slumped off to stand next to Namjoon on the outer edge of the horizontal line that a choreographer was creating out of the boys so they could watch themselves in the mirror. Tae realized with a start that the spot that had been left open for him was between Jungkook and Jin. Should he request to move around or just bite the bullet and stand next to the sulking boy who was very clearly watching him in the mirror?

He stepped forward to his designated spot, not really listening to the choreographer that was answering some questions J-Hope had asked moments prior. Jungkook was avoiding his gaze, both directly and in the mirror now. Which Tae was just simply unwilling to allow. So he reached out and pressed the tip of his finger under Jungkook's chin before raking it upwards with enough force to lift the maknae's face up before he let go with a smirk. The same feeling the action had elicited on the roof the night before rocketed through Tae's body now, but he stamped it down as hard as he could. "Turn that frown upside down, Kookie." Tae let his voice drop to an obscenely low octave as he leaned in to whisper into the boy's ear.

"Shut up, Tae." Jungkook hissed back harshly before shoving him away. But his eyes danced with happiness, so Tae knew he wasn't actually mad. And the slip up of calling him Tae, well that just made the older boy's heart melt all over the dance floor.

* * *

As it turns out, Taehyung's initial fears of being much less talented than the other members of the band were completely justified. The next three hours of dance practice dragged on slowly while also feeling like a whirlwind that he just couldn't keep up with. J-Hope tried his best to explain the steps in excruciating detail to Taehyung, but the younger boy just couldn't wrap his head around the steps. He would watch the others do the steps, and in his brain he could completely conceptualize how they should be done; but once he actually set his own body in motion, it looked nothing like what had been demonstrated to him.

He ended up on the floor more than once, each time resulting at least one of the other members rushing to his side to help him up. Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi all assured him that they had had just as much trouble in the beginning, and claimed they weren't much better off even now, but he saw the looks they exchanged, like they were losing faith in him by the minute.

Jungkook, he noticed, had drifted to the other side of the room and never came close enough to pull him to his feet. But he could feel the maknae watching him through the mirrors and it only made him more embarrassed each time his ass hit the floor. He also had a strained look on his face, like he was silently begging Taehyung to magically get better.

By the time the choreographer had called the rehearsal to an end, Taehyung was sweating, gasping for air, and entirely too pissed off. He wasn't even sure at who. Himself, for sucking so badly and embarrassing himself so completely. His parents, unfairly, for letting him come to this godforsaken city to join a group he clearly had no business being a part of. Mr. Bang, for convincing him he had what it takes and even letting him into the band, when it was clear he had no talent other than the "visuals" they had kept referring to that day so many months ago in Daegu.

His frustration must have shown on his face because no one approached him when the music cut off. Namjoon and Jin shuffled over to talk to another unnamed producer that had shown up at some point when Tae hadn't been paying attention. Yoongi and J-Hope were laying on the floor trying to catch their own breaths, laughing about something J-Hope had said under his breath.

Jungkook, however, was still on his feet, his headphones jammed back into his ears as soon as the room's speakers had been clicked off. And he was still dancing. Practicing the moves they had already spent hours working on. Which only pissed off Taehyung even more. He knew it wasn't fair of him to be jealous of someone who clearly worked very hard and had also been in Seoul for months. But he was. He was jealous that it seemed so easy for the younger boy; hell, he was jealous of Namjoon, who could just barely manage the motions of the dance in the first place. Tae would have taken that in a heartbeat over what he had just experienced.

The eighteen year old had just settled in the corner of the room, his head leaning back so he could shut his eyes and rest his sleep-deprived body for a moment when he felt a body collapse beside him. He cracked an eye to see J-Hope's smiling face inches from his own.

"Well hello there, buddy." J-Hope smiled widely to fully show his endearingly large teeth. It was hard to be mad when staring into a ray of sun, but somehow Tae managed and glowered at him before shutting his eyes once again. "You really didn't do as bad as you think you did, you know. It's your first day. Sure, you probably could have practiced a bit before moving up here-"

Tae opened his mouth to begin arguing with him, wanting to say that the thought hadn't even crossed his mind, but realized that wasn't exactly a better excuse. Before he could defend himself, J-Hope smiled warmly again. "Hey, I totally understand. I'm a dancer first and foremost; when I was recruited, I didn't even once think about practicing singing or rapping before showing up for training. Why would I? It wasn't what I was focused on. I guess, you just need to decide what you're focused on and make that what you do in your free time. Everything else you'll get at least the basics during actual rehearsals.

"The thing that I'm sure Hitman Bang didn't tell you is that there isn't really free time all that much anymore. If we want to make it big, or even become mildly successful, the band has to be the first thing we think about when we wake up until we go to bed you know?"

Taehyung felt like the conversation should have made him feel even more ashamed of himself. But, coming from J-Hope, the words didn't feel like a lecture, more a friendly download of the way things actually were behind the scenes, something Tae obviously wouldn't have had time to figure out in only 24 hours. The younger boy nodded.

"I guess what I'm saying is, we're all different people trying to achieve the same goals together. You need to personalize all of this so that it works for you. If dancing isn't your main thing, that's totally fine and I'm sure the choreographers will find a way to help you out and stick you in the back or something-"

Tae shook his head vehemently, "I don't want to be dead weight. I know I'm not an experienced dancer; honestly, I'm not really experienced at anything besides the saxophone." J-Hope cocked his eyebrow as if to signal that he would like to hear more about that in the future. "But I really do want to learn. I guess today was just a little overwhelming for me. You and the choreographer are just so much more advanced than me.. It's impressive, but also slightly hard for me to follow along when I'm such a beginner."

The older boy nodded solemnly for a moment, before he split into a cheshire grin. "Then maybe more one on one attention would help. I really wouldn't mind. I sometimes go over things with Jungkook in the evenings; I doubt he'd mind much if you joined us." J-Hope caught the maknae's eye from across the room and began to wave him over.

"Oh no, hyung. I really don't want to bother him more than I already have…" Taehyung said nervously, biting his lip when the younger boy pulled his earbuds out and began to head towards them.

"When have you bothered him? You only got here last night." J-Hope was rightfully confused, having no idea about the roof or any of their interactions from the night before. When Taehyung just shrugged at him, the older boy moved on quickly. "Besides, we're a team. And I doubt he'd begrudge you getting some extra help. He struggled a bit in the beginning too. Jungkook, my man! We were just talking about you!"

The newly arrived maknae looked suspicious and began to gnaw on his lower lip immediately. Tae felt the sudden urge to pull the boy's lip from between his teeth, but gulped down the feeling. "Why?"

J-Hope chuckled fondly, "Taehyung and I were just talking about how he might benefit from some extra practice in the evenings. I know we normally like to practice with just the two of us, but I figured one more person wouldn't hurt. Besides, you might be of some help too, our golden boy."

Taehyung shifted his gaze around the room, refusing to let it land on Jungkook. There was something awkwardly charged in the air between them, something that hadn't been there the night before. He saw the boy shrug out of the corner of his eye. "I don't really care who's here. He can hang around if he wants, but I'm not much of a teacher. That's more your forte."

The eighteen year old tried to hold off the inevitable sting from the comments, but was slightly unsuccessful. He found his already pissy mood souring by the second. One thing about Taehyung that he tried desperately to hide was his innate ability to be offended easily and often. Everyone around him thought his far away gaze meant he was millions of miles away in his own head, ignoring everything that was happening around him. But in reality, he was always watching, always listening. He had a deep understanding of what people were actually saying underneath their words. He was too aware, if you asked him; he would have loved to be oblivious like he looked, but it just didn't happen that way.

It was clear that Jungkook regarded him with the same amount of interest he regarding everyone else: none. Sure, he could hang around, but don't actually expect the maknae to care much about it. It stung for reasons he wasn't ready to admit to himself. So Taehyung forced a grimace onto his face as he rose to his feet, eyes settling on J-Hope, "That's okay. I'll just figure out my own time to practice. Thanks anyway."

Before his hyung could protest, Taehyung was across the room and out into the lobby. He had already been told that he had an hour before he was expected to be upstairs in the vocal classroom for his one-on-one lessons; Jin was currently there for his own practice. An hour would have been enough time to head back to the apartment and shower, but not enough time to dry his hair again for the walk back through the snow.

The white powder had stopped falling and was now just covering the sidewalks in large gray heaps from where it was pushed out of the road. Despite being early afternoon, there wasn't a whole lot of sunlight filtering down through the clouds.

He stepped out of the studio and onto the sidewalk, but didn't move more than a few feet away from the door. The cold was biting, seemingly much worse than it had been the night before but maybe that was just the difference having company could make. There weren't many people on the street this far out on the edges of downtown, which made him apprehensive of those few that were mulling around. So shaking his head, he turned and walked back into the lobby of the studio. An hour to kill wasn't so bad. He settled down in a hard chair in the corner and rested his head against the wall. Exhaustion rolled over him in waves and he let his eyes slide shut. Hopefully someone would wake him up for his vocal lesson, but he also secretly wished that they would just let him sleep.

* * *

Taehyung's vocal lesson didn't go much better than the dancing. Which was even more disappointing since he had at least some experience with that particular skill. After Jin had woken him up from his catnap in the lobby, he had shuffled upstairs to the small room that had been described to him.

There were two vocal coaches in the room when he got there. The petite woman explained that she was just leaving after having coached Jin; that Tae would be with the middle-aged man with the smiling eyes since he had such a low voice. They apparently were all assigned to one of the two teachers based on their range and Tae clearly had the lowest of the six of them.

When he was finally alone with the man, who introduced himself as Mr. Lee, Tae allowed himself to settle on the small stool in the center of the room. They began with warmups, descending through the scales in order to fully explore Taehyung's range. But his voice was sore and scratchy, likely from the cold wind of the night before. And his tone was pitchy with anxiety over trying to prove to himself that he could actually contribute something to the group.

Once Mr. Lee had determined that it wasn't a particularly good day to test and track Tae's range, he moved on to other exercises that would clearly hurt his ears less. Namely breathing techniques. Luckily, with his years of saxophone practice, Taehyung didn't have to completely start from scratch with this particular skill.

"That's actually quite impressive, Taehyung. I think the only boys with as good of breath control as you were Namjoon and Yoongi. At least in the beginning. I think we can really work on that." Mr. Lee was kind and encouraging, despite the newest boy's unimpressive performance. Tae nodded solemnly, biting at his lip and scuffing his shoes along the floor underneath the stool he was perched on. "It's your first day. Give yourself more of a break. You wouldn't be here if you didn't deserve to be."

But did he actually deserve it? He questioned the validity of Mr. Lee's statement as he descended the stairs and slunk back into the dance studio. He kept to himself for the rest of the afternoon. Even when the six of them were gathered together to practice more choreography, he refused to pull his eyes away from his own reflection in the mirror.

He didn't do any better than earlier in the day, but he was determined to keep trying. The eighteen year old didn't even acknowledge the presence of the other members until practice was called to a close and a producer told the six of them that they could head home. It was dark when they left the studio, largely due to the winter months shortening the daylight hours so drastically.

Everyone was tired, but Hobi and Namjoon were still animated enough to discuss the rap techniques that the older boy was learning rapidly in order to join the rap line. Yoongi was pretty much dead on his feet and shuffled along with his headphones in. Only Jungkook paid much attention to Taehyung and his sour attitude, falling back conspicuously to walk with the new member.

Jungkook didn't say anything, which Taehyung appreciated. He didn't feel like talking when he was so filled with disappointment at his own mediocrity. He didn't know what he would say to the maknae; especially to the maknae. The baby of the group was almost as good of a dancer as Hobi already and, when Taehyung had gone to the bathroom upstairs during Jungkook's solo vocal lesson, he realized that the maknae was just as talented vocally. It was embarrassing to be the weakest link.

He was normally not a perfectionist in the slightest. In fact, without his parent's prompting, he would have never even gotten as good at the saxophone as he eventually was. But this was different. It was his future. He had turned his back on the safe one he had been building and risked everything to be here. Even if he hadn't been particularly motivated to become an idol before, he was now determined to make something out of himself no matter how hard he had to try.

Tae felt something bump into his shoulder and he looked up to see the maknae's dark eyes on him. He had shouldered him softly as they walked, maybe trying to get his attention, maybe just to pull the older boy out of his own thoughts. "It'll all be okay, hyung. Things will get better."

He found himself wanting to hold a grudge against Jungkook and the way he could go from warm to cold at any moment. It was hard to judge if they were becoming friends or if Jungkook actually even cared to have friends. He pulled into himself so often that Tae felt like he was grasping at smoke when he tried to connect with the younger boy. And why did he even care in the first place? Tae was no stranger to being shrugged off as an oddity that no one wanted to be friends with. But something about thinking that the sixteen year old didn't like him made his stomach drop.

So for now, because Jungkook was actually acknowledging him and seeming to care about him slightly, he decided to foolishly leap at the attention. He nodded, trying not to be disappointed that the honorifics had returned and shouldered the younger boy back. "Yeah, of course it will, Kookie."

* * *

The next few days flew by in a blur of sweaty boys, increasingly complicated choreography, and strenuous vocal lessons. Taehyung wasn't entirely sure if he was making any improvements. Everyone told him he was; he hadn't fallen on his ass at all during the last practice which was good, but his voice hadn't fully recovered from it's soreness.

It was now Friday, and they had been told that they would get the weekend off in order to get ready for the school year to start back up for the younger two members. He was excited to have some down time; in the evenings, after full days of practice, none of the boys (besides Hobi on some occasions) really had the energy to spend much time together. Taehyung especially didn't have any extra energy.

He was trying his best to keep up with the strenuous schedule, but it was proving difficult for him. He knew that once his last semester of high school started up, things would be different. Their group choreography lessons would be largely moved to evenings and weekends. Despite working with unlabeled music and choreography, Taehyung had been assured, largely by Namjoon, that all the training was important. Eventually, they would be given their own music and dances to perform when they actually debuted, but for now they were expected to perfect the basic movements, scales, and general harmonies that were required to become a successful group.

A large part of Taehyung's dread for the beginning of the next week was the largest shift in his already settled-into schedule. He had been warned that the best time for his and Jungkook's vocal lessons to take place were early in the mornings before school began for them. They would be allowed to miss what would be the first period of classes for everyone else in order to accommodate their idol training. But they would still be expected to be up and at the studio at the asscrack of dawn each morning.

Speaking of Jungkook, who even now was practicing a paired down version of another group's choreography by himself in the corner; Taehyung had noticed a distinct drop to zero in the amount of times the younger boy had left the apartment the way he had that first night. Maybe it was because he was too tired to be interested in spending time on the freezing cold roof. That would be reasonable for any sane person. But there was a small nagging in the back of the eighteen year old's head that maybe the maknae was avoiding the roof because he didn't want to be followed out again. Tae vowed to not follow again, just in case it really was his fault for butting into the other boy's space.

"- all I'm saying is we really don't owe them anything. You especially don't owe them jack shit." Yoongi's harsh tone interrupted Tae's disturbing fixation on Jungkook's dancing, so he turned to see what was going on.

Yoongi and Namjoon stood huddled close together, their voices dropped so no one around would hear them. However, Taehyung, who was perpetually nosy with the added advantage of being seemingly oblivious to his surroundings, tuned in to the conversation immediately. He couldn't help but notice that Suga clearly wasn't the one worried about being overheard; Namjoon was consistently glancing around the room like he was performing an illicit drug deal instead of just having a conversation.

"I know, hyung. I'm just so sick of the fucking criticism I can't take it anymore. I don't know what we're supposed to do if not-"

Yoongi cut Namjoon off with a short, humourless laugh. "What we're supposed to do is tell them to fuck all the way off. Not all of us can afford to be starving artists for the rest of our lives. If we have to sell out a little bit to make it somewhere in this fucking industry, then so be it. I'm done with the purity of the underground at the expense of our actual success and you should be too."

Taehyung was unsure what was actually going on, but as he tried to puzzle it out, he realized that Namjoon had noticed his attention and was blanching at being caught in whatever conversation this was. So Taehyung nodded his head once as if to apologize for the intrusion before pushing off from the wall he had been leaning on and walked away from the two conspiring boys.

He knew from the short conversations they had had over the last week that Namjoon and Yoongi had originally been part of the underground rap scene before signing their souls over (Yoongi's words, not Tae's) to the devil that was the K-Pop industry. Not that they weren't grateful, Yoongi had assured him, for the opportunity to put out any music at all; he had just seemed wistful about the path that might have been traveled had they stuck with strictly rapping.

Tae still didn't feel like he particularly knew his roommates and fellow members enough to make assumptions about their feelings or conversations, so he decided to let what he had heard slip from his mind. For now, he wondered upon where he could sit or lean to seem the least amount of awkward possible. He wasn't coming up with a lot of options when the male choreography teacher pulled them all together to get started with the practice.

As the beat-heavy music began, Tae tried to slink into the positions that were being called out as effortlessly as Jungkook and Hobi were able to. But once again, the motions that he saw perfectly in his mind weren't being projected by his actual body. Timing was especially hard for him; he felt like there was a major delay in remembering what the move was, how to do it, and it actually happening via his body.

He also felt particularly crummy on this particular day. His nose was running, causing him to swipe the oversized sleeve of his sweater across his upper lip to keep the snot at bay. He felt a throbbing in his throat, something that had stayed consistent his entire week in Seoul, and his ears felt full and sloshy. All of which likely contributed to his biggest blunder yet.

On a particular move where Tae was supposed to weave in and out of Jin and Yoongi as they each faded in and out of the foreground, his foot hit a slick patch on the wood flooring. Whether it was sweat or water from someone's water bottle, he didn't know. What he did know was as fast as he had stepped forward, his legs were flung out from under him and he was staring at the ceiling tiles as he cascaded towards the ground.

When he hit, he hit hard. He didn't black out or anything dramatic, but the wind was knocked out of him immediately, probably from shock. It took the dance instructor, Hobi, and Jungkook longer to notice because of their position at the front of the room, but Jin, Yoongi, and Namjoon realized what had happened immediately.

"Taehyung! Oh fuck. Are you okay?" Namjoon was leaning over Tae where he now lay flat on the ground. He was quickly surrounded by the rest of the members and the instructor. Tae was immediately horrified that he had taken such a major dive over such a mundane move and that everyone had been there to see it.

To make matters even worse, suddenly Mr. Bang appeared over head. The man was rarely in the actual practice room, instead choosing to spend his time upstairs in his office making important, high brow decisions. So for him to have picked today of all days to watch their rehearsal was just a cherry on the sundae that was Taehyung's mortification.

But he refused to be looked at with the intent concern that had spread across everyone's faces, so he laughed in a voice that was likely way too loud and obviously not humorous before climbing to his feet. At least three hands settled on various parts of his upper body as if to try and balance the clearly unstable boy, but he didn't let them linger.

"Well, shit. My bad. I'm sorry, everybody. I'll be fine. Let's just keep going."

But Mr. Bang was already shaking his head, "No, Taehyung, you need to sit down. Maybe… Maybe we'll just let you skip out on the rest of today's dancing, okay?"

"What? No! I clearly need the practice. It was just a little spill. I promise it won't happen again!" He began to feel panic creep up in his voice. It must have made the others uncomfortable, because they began to drift off from his now private conversation with their boss. "Please, Mr. Bang. I can do this."

The older man smiled with actual kindness at the eighteen year old. "It's okay, Taehyung. Really. This doesn't reflect badly on you. These things just happen. But I really need you to sit out for a while in case the fall was worse than it looked. Do you want us to take you to get checked for a concussion?"

Shaking his head adamantly, Taehyung insisted that he definitely didn't want that. Mr. Bang agreed, but still insisted that he sit down somewhere until his vocal lesson, which Tae negotiated he still be allowed to attend. At least he would get to practice, even if his voice wasn't in much better condition that his head now was.

He didn't want to sit and watch the rehearsal. Although it was probably the intelligent thing to do so he wouldn't miss anything, he didn't think he could stand the embarrassment of sitting and watching the others go on without him. So he thought to himself that he would just sit in the lobby until it was his turn to go upstairs. But as he crossed and settled into his favorite corner chair, he noticed the woman behind the desk was staring at him from across the room and he thought he could hear his name in the conversation emanating from the dance room.

He wanted desperately to leave. If he walked around downtown Seoul for the next hour, would he get lost? Or mugged? He had no money, but he was wearing his nice coat and he had a phone that someone else might be interested in taking from him. So he stood in the doorway, feeling trapped, weighing how much he actually needed a cellphone if someone did mug him.

"Taehyung?" Doyun's voice came from behind him, but he didn't turn to greet him. "Hey, are you okay?" He was beside him now, leaning forward to look him in the eyes; which was extremely embarrassing seeing as they were welling up with frustrated tears. "Hey, shhh. It'll be okay. Do you want to go for a walk? Blow off some steam?"

The eighteen year old simply nodded and waited as Doyun disappeared from his side for a minute before returning. "I told Rap Monster where we were going, so he doesn't think I'm stealing their new heartthrob." The cheesy compliment made Taehyung smile and he let the older boy lead him through the doors and out into the cold. It struck him that this was now the second time he had blindly followed a cute boy out into the freezing weather in the last week. And maybe that meant something he wasn't ready to come to terms with.

* * *

 **Jungkook's POV:**

Jungkook wasn't exactly sure why, but he was extremely shaken by Taehyung's fall. So much so that he had almost had a few close calls himself simply due to lack of attention. As desperately as he wanted to leave the practice to check on the older boy, he couldn't bring himself to just leave, especially with Hitman Bang in the room. So he continued to dance, albeit half-assedly, until the instructor told them they were dismissed for their scheduled vocal lessons and lunch break.

Almost the second he was allowed to, the sixteen year old has plunged into the lobby to look for Taehyung. He didn't have a plan as to what he would say to the guy, but it felt like a friendly thing to do to at least check up on him. But to his surprise, the older boy was nowhere to be found. Jungkook stopped mid-stride and glanced confusedly around the room, even checking under some of the chairs in case the weirdo has curled up on the floor as he was known to do.

"He left with Doyun." The secretary at the desk called from across the room. The teen glanced up at her dumbfounded, as though she wasn't speaking Korean. "Mr. Kim? Isn't that who you're looking for? Doyun said they were going on a walk and would be back later."

Oh. He didn't know if he said it out loud or not, but it was his only response. Taehyung and Doyun had left. And probably a while ago, if he was honest with himself, since the dance practice had gone on for at least 45 minutes after Taehyung's fall. Why was he so upset about it? No idea, but he didn't really feel like dwelling on it right now.

So Jungkook had retreated back into the practice room and spent his entire two hour break repeating the new choreography over and over again. He didn't eat lunch, despite Jin's nagging, and he didn't look away from the mirrors until Namjoon called out to him about it being his turn for vocals. He had kept his head down as he climbed the stairs to the small insulated room that served as the vocal area.

He wasn't sure if Taehyung had returned; he hadn't seen him or Doyun since they had disappeared, but he knew the older boy's vocal lesson had been before his own. He wondered how it had gone for the guy. Taehyung had clearly been struggling all morning with the dances and Jungkook had watched his face fall almost as badly as his body had. He would get better. They had all gotten better just with time and practice, but he understood the frustration of not being great from the beginning.

Jungkook was used to being good at things. He had excelled at school all his life. He may not have been as smart as Namjoon, but things had been easy for him to pick up and relay back to his teachers. All the sports he had played when he was younger had been easy for him and he had had no trouble making it onto all the school teams he tried out for in Busan. But singing and dancing had been slightly harder.

The maknae had always had an obsession with music. People had found it weird that he constantly had earbuds shoved into his head, but the other members of the band he was now a part of were just as obsessed as him. It made him feel more normal. Eventually, his interest in music shifted to an urge to sing. Mostly when he was alone, because he wasn't exactly sure if he was any good.

But his mom had heard him on enough occasions to push him into some more formal training. And, as everyone knows, to be an idol in Korea, dancing also comes as part of the package. So he had been put into classes for that too. At the age of 12 it was more difficult for him than the older kids he trained with. His legs had been too long and his arms were unnaturally gangly; even his voice had suffered the unforgiving signs of puberty that were impossible to avoid. It wasn't until the more recent years that he actually felt confident in his talents.

Part of that had been his hyungs. The golden maknae was not a nickname to be taken lightly. He knew he wasn't as good at the individual crafts as the others in the band: Namjoon with his lyrics, J-Hope with his dancing, and Yoongi with his general music production skills and rapping. But he was more than passable at all of the things combined and that made him feel as though he was a valuable asset to the team. Something that was sorely needed when it came to his own confidence.

When he reached the room, he wasn't all that surprised to find it empty except for the vocal coach. Taehyung must have snuck out before he had headed up the stairs.

"Are you ready, Jungkook?" He nodded at middle aged man. "Alright, let's start with the warm ups."

* * *

When Jungkook returned to the first floor of the studio, everyone was sitting around chatting. Even Taehyung was there, which made Jungkook sigh out of ridiculous relief. The older boy caught his eye and sent him a hesitant smile; Jungkook was so caught up in the fact that he wasn't with Doyun anymore that he forgot he was salty about the whole thing in the first place and flashed him a shy smirk.

He watched Tae visibly relax before patting the floor next to him as a place for Jungkook to settle. He obliged, sitting close enough that he could feel the older boy's body heat. "Coach says it's your turn Yoongi. Told me to let you know to head on up."

Yoongi sighed heavily before launching himself to his feet, "Fine, I guess I'll see you lucky ones back at the house. Namjoon says whoever's done for the day can go ahead and go home before the next wave a snow hits."

Jin looked worriedly towards the front windows, "Are you guys sure? I don't want any of us to split up and get lost or stuck here."

Namjoon nodded and winked at the older boy. "We'll be fine. You take the young ones home and we'll see you in a few hours." Taehyung and Jungkook started to argue in unison, but were quickly shut down by a look from the leader. "It's the only time you're going to get first dibs on the shower, I suggest you guys take it."

Which was how they ended up trudging through the streets of Seoul in the late afternoon light, trying desperately to keep up with Jin, who was practically running ahead of them to reach the warmth of the apartment.

"You can go ahead and literally run home if you want to, hyung. I've got a pretty good handle on where we are and I'm sure between Kookie, me and our phones, we can make it." Taehyung called up to the older boy. He seemed to be in a mucher better mood than he had been right after his fall; clearly whatever Doyun and he had been doing together had cheered him up. The thought brought a frown to Jungkook's face.

Jin shook his head vehemently, but his feet did seem to shuffle the slightest bit faster than they were before. "N-n-no, it's okay. I promised I'd g-g-get you boys home in one piece."

"Really, hyung. We're only a few blocks away, go ahead of us. I wanted to stop at the corner bodega anyway, I need more toothpaste." Jungkook said. He really could use a few new toiletries.

Jin had slowed to a semi-halt, bouncing from foot to foot to keep warm. He bit his lip in trepidation at the two teenagers, but he must have seen something in their eyes that made him more confident, because he sighed and said, "Fine, but if you aren't at the house in the next fifteen minutes, I'm calling the police."

They both rolled their eyes but agreed. Jungkook secretly liked the overbearing maternal role that Jin had adopted over him; it made him feel loved and accepted. But he couldn't let him know that. When Jin had disappeared around the corner, now fully sprinting, Jungkook finally let himself glance over at Taehyung for the first time since they'd left the studio.

"So how are you feeling?"

"Hmm?" Tae was gazing off into the distance, but forced himself to pull his eyes to meet Jungkook's. "'Oh, better. I guess. Just need to not fall, obviously" Jungkook nodded, not really knowing what to say to that. "I mean, I think the vocal lesson went better than the dancing. Which is just great since no one was there to see that but everyone was there to see me fall on my ass."

Jungkook scowled and kicked snow out from under his moving feet as they walked. "Doyun wasn't there to actually see you fall. If that helps any. But I guess he probably already told you that"

"Why would I care if Doyun was there?" Clearly Taehyung was determined to ignore the second, slightly snide comment.

Still, Tae's question didn't come off as nonchalant as Jungkook was sure he had meant for it to. So he shrugged and looked up at the grim sky above them. "I just figured that's what had you embarrassed. If you like him-"

"I don't like him." Taehyung cut him off forcefully, his feet halting as he reached out to grab Jungkook and yank him backwards. "I'm not gay, okay? I don't know why you'd even bring something like that up, but I'm not, got it?"

 _Oh shit._ Jungkook nodded quickly, but couldn't help himself. One could say that Jungkook had an attitude problem; his one and only reaction to embarrassment was to become intolerably pissed. He yanked his arm out of his hyung's grasp and glared at him. He realized suddenly that they were the same height despite their age difference and if he really puffed himself up, he almost felt like he was bigger.

"Fine, you're not gay. I don't care, I was just telling you, you don't have to be a dick about it." And with that he took off, not really caring if Taehyung was following him. Not even caring if the older boy would be lost without him.

He didn't look behind him until he reached the apartment building. He wasn't all that surprised to find the entire street empty; Taehyung hadn't followed him and now he'd have to find his own way home. Jungkook took off up the stairs, but didn't stop at the fourth floor; instead he continued upwards until he reached the roof.

He settled on the bench and stared out at the slowly darkening city. He didn't want to think about Taehyung or Doyun. He didn't know why he had suddenly gotten so angry. He felt bad that he had left the boy alone on the street on a Friday evening his first week in the city, but it would be too hard to find him now. He just had to hope that GPS would guide Taehyung home before it got to be too dark. Maybe when he did reach the apartment and realized Jungkook wasn't home, he'd also come up to the roof. It was silly of him to wish that the older boy would go looking for him when he had thrown such a ridiculous fit, but he still silently hoped.

Taehyung never appeared on the roof. Jungkook sat there, on the bench they had shared the night before until it became completely dark. He never received any texts from the others, particularly Jin, and he hadn't heard any police sirens so he could only assume his hyungs hadn't called the police as was threatened. Finally, when his face felt frozen while simultaneously burning with sheepishness over his tantrum, Jungkook shuffled down the stairs and through the hallway until he reached the apartment.

He steeled himself for a barrage of questions and lectures over where he'd been over the last few hours, but when he entered the living room, only Namjoon and Yoongi were there and they simply smiled at him as he pulled off his coat.

"Hey, hyungs. Where is everyone?" He was still slightly worried that he was walking into an ambush, but Yoongi just shrugged and returned to watching TV.

Namjoon glanced down at his phone, only half paying attention to the worried maknae. "Oh Jin is in the bath, he left you some leftovers from dinner on the counter. J-Hope is still at the studio going over choreography; one of the producers said they'd give him a ride home. And Taehyung said he was tired and wanted to go to bed early. Did you have fun visiting your friends?"

"What?" Jungkook asked dumbly, glancing between Namjoon and Yoongi, who was suddenly more interested in the conversation than he had been moments before.

"Your friends? Taehyung said you had wanted to take advantage of getting off early and went to see some friends from school. He said he walked you to their apartment; that it's not far from here?" Namjoon looked concerned now.

 _Taehyung had lied for him? But why? He could have told them the truth. That he had completely abandoned him. Taehyung could have completely outed him and his secret spot on the roof. Why hadn't he?_ "Oh, yeah. We had a good time. Got to catch up about the break and everything. It was cool."

He didn't like the knowing look in Yoongi's eyes, like he had picked up on the lie, but when his hyung didn't say anything, Jungkook let himself breath. He smiled at them. "Well, I guess I'm going to go head to bed. See you guys in the morning." He was already halfway down the hallway when he heard Yoongi call out his name. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as he slunk back into the living room. "Yes, hyung?"

"Put the plate up that Jin-hyung made for you if you aren't going to eat it. We don't want it to go bad." Yoongi smirked as he said it, staring at the maknae for a moment longer than necessary before turning back to the tv.

"Sure, hyung. Of course." He did as he was told before slipping into the shared bedroom. The lights were off and he could only barely see Taehyung's thin form under the blankets in his bed. Jungkook thought about nudging the older boy to see if he was awake; he should apologize for the way he acted. Ask how his head was. Thank him for covering for him when he didn't have any reason to. But instead, he climbed up into his own bunk, completely dressed and lay in the dark. He would apologize tomorrow. Tonight he would let Taehyung sleep.

As Jungkook shifted his head to the side to get more comfortable, he felt something move under his pillow. Reaching under it, he pulled out a cylindrical object. He used his phone light to look at the strange object only to realize it was a tube of toothpaste. Toothpaste. The thing he had told Jin he needed from the store. But Jin had run home, not to the bodega, and he had left Taehyung- He had left Taehyung only half a block from the small corner store. The boy must have bought it for him before heading home to cover for the maknae with their hyungs. More shame burned across Jungkook's face. He really would have to apologize tomorrow.

Jungkook lay there, holding the tube of toothpaste, staring at the ceiling and listening to Taehyung's low rumbles of breath until his own breathing grew slow and his eyes slid closed. He didn't sneak out to the roof again that night.


	6. Chapter Six: 2 Cool 4 Skool

Taehyung woke the next morning to full sunlight, penetrating his eyelids, filtering through the dirty window between his bunk and the next. It was slightly shocking, to have come to after the sun had risen so far into the sky. Over the last week, Namjoon or Jin had woken him up well before dawn had actually struck in order to get ready for practice. As crazy as it seemed, Tae had actually fallen into the routine pretty quickly and had become less whiny as each morning passed.

But it was Saturday, he suddenly remembered. Which meant that they were being given a free two days without practice of any kind. He knew better; that J-Hope and Jungkook would likely still disappear to the studio to dance. That Namjoon would be working on music in the corner of the living room as soon as he could. Even Yoongi, who often looked as though he was doing nothing, would likely be working on the various tracks Tae had heard so much about in the last week.

But for now, his phone screen read 10:09 am and was blinking with a message from Minjun about the latest progress he had made in the video game he had received for Christmas. Tae shook out his bangs and replied to the text before glancing around the shared bedroom to take stock of who else was still asleep. Yoongi's form was still filling his bed, curled up tightly underneath the thick blankets he had piled onto his bunk.

The rest of the room seemed empty, making Tae the second to last one to awaken. Maybe he really hadn't gotten used to the schedule, just to being woken by his hyungs. Throwing his legs over the side of his bed, the lanky teen pulled his favorite hoodie out of the suitcase that lay sprawling between the bunks. He yanked it over his head as he padded barefoot down the hall and into the living room.

"Taehyung! It's about time you woke up!" Jin was grinning at him from the doorway to the kitchen where he was leaning casually. Tae reached up to ruffle his bangs out of his eyes again and stuck out his tongue at the older boy. It was really getting to be time to trim his hair, but his mom wasn't around to do it and he wasn't even sure if his hair was his to change anymore. It was probably something he should bring up to the producers or Mr. Bang.

Tae's eyes flicked around the room until they settled on the two boys sitting across from each other at the small dining room table. It was only made for two, maybe three people max, at a time, making everyone either eat in shifts or spread out across the entire living room for each meal. But now, Namjoon and Jungkook sat eating together quietly as music played softly from Namjoon's phone that rested on the tabletop.

"Morning everyone." Tae nodded at Namjoon and tried his best to ignore the sullen teen that was equally ignoring him. His voice was gravelly from too much sleep and the tailends of his mild cold. Something about him speaking caused Jungkook's head to whip around and look at him with bewildered, darkening eyes. The eighteen year old found this odd and shook his head before retreating into the kitchen to find his own breakfast. He didn't see the way Namjoon cocked his eyebrows at Jungkook; nor did he see the way the maknae's neck flared red as he returned to slurping up his noodles.

"I made a bunch of stuff for breakfast, if you're hungry. Or I can make you something else." Jin appeared over Tae's shoulder as he looked at the various bowls of noodles, rice, meats and vegetables that covered the countertops. "I got a little carried away. I never get to cook in the mornings. Only when we come home from practice and I'm too tired to really do much."

He could tell that his oldest hyung was slightly shy about the gesture, so Tae grinned rectangularly at him and moved to grab a bowl out of the cabinet to fill. "It looks great, hyung. Probably better than my mom's cooking; just don't tell her I said that."

They laughed and chatted with each other until Tae's bowl was full and he was joining the other two guys at the table. Jungkook sat slumped over his bowl, his eyes hidden behind his dark hair and the hood of his sweater. It looked ridiculous while inside the apartment and therefore, without thinking, Tae reached over and yanked the hood down. He ruffled the boy's bangs so they would leave his eyes.

Everyone in the room visibly stiffened. Tae noticed, but pretended he didn't and turned to pick up his chopsticks and start in on his breakfast. Namjoon and Jin stared at Jungkook, waiting for his usual reaction upon being touched, which was to either have a small freak out and/or storm out of the room. But neither happened. They watched the maknae's shoulders release from their position next to his ears and his breathing start up again. He too returned to eating his food.

Tae didn't understand what the big deal was; why everyone insisted upon tiptoeing around Jungkook. He had experienced the guy's sudden mood shifts, but ultimately he was just a harmless kid that clearly had some social anxiety. Tae glanced up and saw that Jungkook was staring at him out of the corner of his eye, which he could now see since he had brushed aside the bangs. Tae watched a small smile dance across Jungkook's nonexistent lips.

Namjoon got to his feet and left the room, a perplexed look slipping onto his face as soon as his back was turned to the younger guys. Tae could hear him talking quietly to Jin in the kitchen. They were always doing that; talking quietly to each other in other rooms.

"Um, hyung?" Jungkook's voice startled Taehyung slightly, causing him to look up at him from over his bowl with a noodle hanging out of his mouth. It made the younger boy laugh unexpectedly and strange tingles shot through Taehyung's body at the noise.

Slurping up the noodle, he cocked an eyebrow. "I told you, you don't have to use honorifics with me, Jungkookie."

Jungkook nodded, gazing down at the table. Tae glanced down as well, noticing that Jungkook seemed to be staring off at his own hand that rested on the wooden surface. He had the sudden urge to reach out and play with Jungkook's fingers; the thought was so startling that he reared back in his seat and tucked his own hands under his thighs. "You had a question?"

"No- I just," Jungkook tilted his body so he could see into the small kitchen. Jin and Namjoon were still talking to each other, but louder and about nothing particularly interesting. He settled his dark eyes back on Taehyung. "I just wanted to thank you for the toothpaste."

To be honest, Tae hadn't expected him to say anything about the small gesture. After their strange tiff the day before, he had been upset and bewildered. He didn't know why they had both gotten so heated so quickly; it again reminded him of his relationship with Jeongyu. Volatile most of the time. But, unlike when he fought with Jeongyu, Tae had felt a sickening drop in his stomach that he couldn't shake. So he had bought Jungkook the toothpaste, hoping it would bridge whatever gap he had built between them again; surprisingly it seemed to have worked. Building a relationship with Jungkook seemed to be like beckoning a feral cat; only slow, deliberate movements until the animal was comfortable enough to not run away.

"You're welcome, Kookie. I'm sorry about- well, you know. I don't know why I got so upset, or why I made you so upset, but I'm sorry."

Jungkook shook his head vigorously. Tae was struck by how innocent and doe-eyed he looked, his bunny teeth sinking into his bottom lip so hard it seemed painful. "It was my fault, I shouldn't have-"

Suddenly, Hoseok was busting into the room through the front door. "Good morning, everybody!" If he noticed the strange proximity between the two youngest members, whose heads were slowly pulling together across the table, he didn't let on. "It's about time you were all up. Is Yoongi-hyung up yet?"

"I'm up. But if you don't stop shouting, I will go back to bed." Yoongi shuffled to the couch and lay immediately back down with his arm flung across his eyes. "Why are you so insufferably energetic today?" Hoseok grinned and flopped down onto Yoongi's outstretched legs, causing him to yelp out in mock outrage before shoving the taller boy to the floor. "Get the fuck off of me." He growled it, but it didn't hold any actual malice.

Luckily, Hobi seemed to know this and just chuckled at his hyung before leaning his head back against Yoongi's knee. "It's actually nice outside today. The snow's basically all melted and it's not freezing cold. We should go do something."

"Like what? We have no money." Yoongi pouted from behind his arm-shield.

It was true. Since Tae had shown up in Seoul, he had quickly realized that his new family was not any more affluent than his old one. Big Hit was a tiny company, that had thus far not produced any successful groups, and therefore only had enough money to pay for the boys' crowded apartment, skimpy food budget, and a small allowance that would get them life's simple basics. Tae didn't mind. He was used to living on small budgets and he hadn't exactly expected for them to be rich during their trainee years anyway.

"We could go to Namsan. If it's really that nice outside everyone will be out today. We might be able to join a basketball game or something." Namjoon offered from where he leaned on the wall next to the small tv they all shared. "Could go hiking too if anyone's into that."

Everyone nodded in agreement, even Yoongi, who was enticed by the idea of getting to play basketball with people who actually knew what they were doing, unlike Hobi who he usually played with. So it was settled, they would all get ready to go and leave within the hour. Jin had offered to make a packed lunch for the group so they could stay out well into the afternoon. And Namjoon had volunteered to help him, not that he would be much help with the actual cooking part due to his expertise in burning everything he touched.

When everyone was ready to go, still slightly bundled up in long pants and hoodies due to it still being January, they all headed out onto the surprisingly warm streets of Seoul. Taehyung was walking along the sidewalk in the back of the group, since he was definitely the least knowledgeable of the big city streets when Jin fell back to walk with him. He glanced up to nod at his hyung before turning his concentration back to balancing on the edge of the sidewalk, putting one foot in front of the other heel to toe.

"You like My Neighbor Totoro?" Jin asked nonchalantly, his hands shoved deep into his hoodie pocket.

Tae startled slightly. His head shot up to look at the older boy; he watched the older boy smile widely, exposing his perfect teeth behind plump lips. "How did you know? Do I exude anime nerd or something?"

Jin snorted, knocking shoulders with him as they walked. "No, dumbass. You're wearing a Totoro hoodie."

Of course he was. He hadn't changed out of the hoodie he had thrown on upon stumbling out of bed. Hoseok had only really given him time to throw on deodorant and run a brush quickly through his tangled mop of hair before insisting that they leave. Dark strands now tickled the bridge of his nose and his closed eyelids. It really was getting entirely too long. He could have pushed it up or to the side, but he wasn't taking any chances on revealing his five-head.

"It's cool, dude. I love Totoro. It's not my favorite Studio Ghibli film, but it does have the cutest merch." Tae was surprised that Jin watched anime for some reason. The older boy was dripping with socialized confidence. A confidence that even Taehyung, who was used to feigning his own in front of others, found impressive. If not slightly daunting. And he was constantly referring to his own beauty. But it didn't come off as self-centered as it almost felt like self-deprecation that was so deeply hidden you couldn't quite pick up on it without really paying attention. Jin continued, "Do you watch other stuff? Actual television animes? Because I haven't found anyone else to watch them with."

They continued to walk behind the others as they chatted, but they seemed to be falling further and further behind as time went on. Eventually, the four boys in front of them had turned the corner without them. It was nice to have one-on-one time with the oldest of the group; Tae hadn't really gotten to know him much past his unbelievable cooking and the way he mothered Jungkook into an annoyed stupor each day.

"I do. Watch other stuff, I mean. Have you seen Sailor Moon?"

Jin nodded enthusiastically, "Yes! But I'd watch it again if you wanted to."

Taehyung agreed and they continued to walk on. They had fallen into a comfortable silence and the younger boy assumed that was the end of their conversation until they reached the others, so he was surprised when Jin spoke up again. "Where did you go yesterday?"

"Yesterday?" His sleep the night before had been so long and actually restful that yesterday seemed like weeks in the past. "What do you mean, hyung?"

Jin shrugged nonchalantly. The action would have been convincing if Tae hadn't noticed the way the older boy chewed on the inside of his cheek. "We just noticed that after you fell, you disappeared for a while. We asked Mrs. Lee and she said that you and Doyun had left. But you came back later, without Doyun-"

The rest of the statement dropped off, as if he wasn't exactly sure what else it was that he wanted to say. Tae felt slightly uneasy about the prospect of being watched by everyone around him all the time. He had grown slightly used to the way Yoongi seemed to always be creepily aware of everything, but he didn't know the other guy's were watching him too. "Oh. I was just upset- about the fall. And Doyun came down from upstairs and thought going for a walk might help."

"Did it?"

Taehyung was confused by Jin's question, "Did it what?"

"Help get over the fall?"

The younger boy shrugged. "Not really. I'm still frustrated, but I'm trying not to think about it too much." This didn't seem to be the answer Jin was prodding for, so he continued. "We just walked around a bit. Doyun said he just didn't want me to mope about it, like I'm known to do. We didn't even talk much, just walked around."

Tae wasn't sure why he felt like he needed to explain himself. It was really no one's business what he did when it was his "break-time," which is what he was considering being sent out of the dance studio. But something about the conversation seemed mildly accusatory, and somewhere deep inside he feared that Jin would question his feelings for Doyun the same way Jungkook had.

He watched Jin nod with pursed lips and shift his eyes around the gradually filling streets. More and more people were appearing around them, along with more and more cars honking and weaving through the traffic of downtown Seoul. It was almost too loud for him to hear the older boy, who was now walking so close that they brushed shoulders in order to avoid all of the other pedestrians bustling around them. "How does Doyun know you so well?"

"He doesn't." But the denial flew from his lips too quickly and he bristled at the way the older man's eyebrows flew upwards into his bangs. "He was the producer that scouted me in Daegu. I guess he just feels like he pulled me into this and so now he has to help me out. I didn't plan on auditioning that day, I was just there for my best friend, but he convinced me to try out. So now I'm here and he's the only person I knew before you guys, so I guess he knows me the best out of everyone."

Tae knew he was rambling, but he just allowed himself to in the hopes it came off as explanatory instead of panicked. Jin opened his mouth to say something as they were turning the corner that the other's had abandoned them past. Both boys were surprised to see them waiting only ten feet away despite having previously been so far ahead. As they strode up, Jin asked why they had waited for them. It didn't seem to be a common practice. It was either keep up with Yoongi, who surprisingly walked the fastest out of all of them despite seemingly being in no hurry to actually get anywhere, or get left to fend for yourself.

"Well, we just thought it would be best to wait for you two. We can't have the visuals of the group scooped up by kidnappers, now can we?" Namjoon's comment made Jin slap at his chest while the taller boy tried to defend himself while laughing loudly.

Yoongi, who was slumped against the dirty wall of a boarded up storefront, mumbled just loud enough for Taehyung to hear. "More like, we were told to stop by the maknae and for some reason we listened."

Jungkook's ears seemed to tinge the tiniest bit pink and, as if to prove that he wasn't invested in waiting for the group, the youngest took off towards the entrance to the park that they were coming up on. Tae was tired of the weird back and forth with Jungkook. The kid could be sweet one minute, but then his personality would disintegrate into ash and all that was left was the snarky loner who left everyone behind. The eighteen year old was tired of it, and for some reason, with tension already filling his body from his talk with Jin, he decided to take it out on Jungkook.

So he ran up beside him, well aware that they were leaving the others far behind as he did. They were entering the park now, striding quickly between the giant stone's that constituted the east entrance to the main grassy area. Despite it only being mildly warm outside, when the biting wind actually died down, the park was littered with families. A small girl with pigtails ran between Jungkook and Taehyung, screaming and laughing as she chased after the family dog. Not wanting any kids to overhear him cuss, Taehyung dropped his voice and leaned into Jungkook as he spat. "What the fuck is going on, Kook?"

It seemed to surprise the other boy, who faltered a bit in his power walk. However, he quickly regained his pace and even pushed ahead like he planned to leave Tae behind. Which he obviously wasn't going to get away with. Taehyung reached out and clamped his hand on the black hood of his sweater, either in an attempt to pull the maknae backwards or propel himself forwards. "You can't shake me off, Jungkook. Tell me what's wrong. We were fine just back at the house."

But what had been fine back at the house clearly wasn't fine now. Jungkook spun around and shoved Taehyung. Not hard, just enough to detach himself from the hood. Clearly the touching that everyone was so surprised to see before wasn't fine now. "Can you just leave me alone? Why does everyone keep fucking touching me?" Jungkook did not keep his voice down for the sake of the children, which caused a particularly irritable mother to harrumph loudly before pushing her twin boys towards the playground a hundred feet away.

"Why do you hate being touched so much? It's not normal. The way you push and pull people away all the time. One minute you're completely fine and I think we're friends. But the next you're sulking again and I can't even talk to you!" They weren't walking anymore. Instead, they were facing each other, chests huffing in the middle of the sidewalk. As a person on a bike rode up, they had to step to the side, but maintained the face off.

"That sounds like a personal problem. I didn't ask for you to talk to me. I didn't ask to be friends with you. With any of you. I'm here to train, become an idol, and make something of myself." Jungkook spit the words, unsure if he meant all of them. But he continued just the same. "I don't give a shit if any of you like me or if we ever talk. Just leave me alone to do my job and I'll do the same."

Tae tried to keep his feelings locked down. He couldn't possibly be hurt by a boy he met only a few weeks ago. By a guy he moved in with less than a week ago. But everything about the relationships he was forming with his fellow members were surprisingly intense and rapid. Maybe it was living with people who weren't family, but he felt as though there was an intensity he'd never experienced with Minjun or any of his other transient friends. And with Jungkook, well, he'd never wanted to punch someone in the face so quickly after getting to know them.

Never in his life had he fought with someone this quickly. Or as often. What was this, their third argument? Was their relationship just destined to be turbulent? Was this push and pull that was so irritating and draining something he would have to put up with forever? He had watched the boy interact with the others. They didn't seem to get the same treatment as Tae did. Namjoon practically walked on water, Jin was a mild annoyance to the maknae but was ultimately treated with respect like an overbearing mother, Hoseok and Yoongi were tolerated in so far as they didn't push him too hard, which they never did.

But Taehyung. Clearly there was something particularly distasteful about him to the maknae. And if that was the case, he had no desire to be somewhere he wasn't wanted. "Fine. I'll leave you alone. That's all you had to say."

He turned and walked away. Which was of course right as the others were walking up. Namjoon saw the look on Taehyung's face as he attempted to brush by him. He reached out and grabbed the younger man's wrist, halting him from rushing past. "What's going on? Taehyung? Jungkook?" When neither boy answered, Namjoon sighed loudly and turned to who he assumed would be the more reasonable one. Tae hadn't pulled out of his grasp just yet, but he was itching to so he could get far away from the maknae. His urge to punch the sixteen year old was only growing in magnitude. "Taehyung, please. We can't let ourselves get pulled apart. We have to be a team."

Taehyung tried to refrain from rolling his eyes out of respect for the leader. He really did like Namjoon, but his anger at Jungkook was clouding his ability to care about anyone's feelings. "I'm sorry, hyung. But I'm not interested in being a team with Jungkook right now. And according to him, he's not interested in being a team with any of us, ever."

With that, he did yank his arm from Namjoon's grasp, though he did it as gently as his wounded pride would allow. He stalked past an uncomfortable looking Hoseok and caught eyes with Yoongi. As usual, the older man's eyes were opened lazily, but Tae could see intelligence and recognition in his eyes. He didn't stop, just sidestepped the shorter man and stalked off in the direction of the picnic tables.

* * *

Jungkook balanced on the top of a bench, his feet on the seat where he should have been sitting. He was watching Yoongi dance around the outside basketball court with more speed and grace than he'd ever seen the man move with. It was almost comical. That his moves on the court looked more like dancing than anything he had ever done in rehearsals. Hoseok was trying to keep up, but Yoongi had insisted that the other boy play for the other team. He claimed he was trying to make the teams more even, but it was clear he just wanted to play with people who actually knew the game. And who didn't think it was fun to chase him around the court trying to tickle him in the middle of said game.

Jungkook felt rather than saw Namjoon's tall frame collapse onto the other side of the bench. He refused to look at him. So he narrowed his eyes and allowed them to flick back and forth across the court with the most intense concentration he could muster. He had hoped that his lack of acknowledgement would deter the leader, but he should have known better.

"Do you want to talk about it?" It was a surprising approach, Jungkook had to admit. If it had been Jin, he would have already been mid-lecture on how unfair and childish Jungkook was acting. Which he already knew, but it was too late to simply apologize. He didn't think his pride could take a hit that strong. So he shook his head and continued watching the game unfolding unevenly in front of him. Hoseok's team was losing. Badly.

"I don't want to get involved in your business if you don't want me to, Jungkook. I'm only trying to be a friend to you by asking." Jungkook didn't say anything. "But as the leader of the group, I have to be more forward. Is this not working? If Taehyung being added to the team is causing strains, we have to talk about that as a group. None of us can afford for this to not work out."

Still no response, just the strafing of eyeballs. "Jungkook. For real. There have already been murmurs at the studio of kicking Taehyung out. If you two don't get along-"

"What?" Jungkook's voice came out more panicked than he meant for it to, his voice raising to an octave he didn't know he could hit outside of a run. His exclamation had been so loud that the players on the court had turned to look at him. All but Yoongi, who paused to wait for everyone else to look, but stared off as if he didn't need to look to know what was happening. "Why are they talking about getting rid of him? He just got here!"

Namjoon nodded, happy that the younger boy's dark eyes were finally on him, even if they were blown open out of panic. "I know he just got here. Which is what I've been telling them, but they aren't sure if he can take it. His singing was basically all that got him through the auditions and he hasn't been up to par this week." Jungkook started to argue but Namjoon held up a hand. "I know, Jungkook. Tae told me he thinks he's had a cold all week and that's been affecting his throat. But it's not just that.

"His dancing is obviously not a strong point. I'm aware I'm not the one to talk, but they were really hoping to balance Jin, Yoongi, and I out with a better dancer. I think the only thing they're still happy with is his visuals." Namjoon sighed as he himself glanced out at the basketball court for a distraction from Jungkook's doe eyes. "I'm trying my best to convince them to keep him, but if you two don't get along and we can't make this work long term, I'll stop trying."

Jungkook was stunned. He knew that Taehyung was struggling but it really was only the first week. And the cold… That had been his fault, the roof, which only made him feel more terrible. He didn't want him to leave. Their tiny quarrels weren't enough to kick the kid out of the group. They were nothing and ultimately they were all his fault. He knew he had an intimacy problem. When he felt like he was getting too close to someone, he would push them away rapidly and with force.

But Taehyung didn't treat him like most other people did. Maybe it was their proximity in age, but the older boy refused to baby him or tiptoe around him when he was being a dick. He met him head on, a battle of wills that Jungkook could feel himself losing every time until he stalked off.

"No." Jungkook spoke without thinking, but he immediately knew he meant it. "I don't want him gone. We'll- We'll work it out, hyung. It's my fault anyway. I'll apologize. It wouldn't be fair for him to lose his one vote of confidence against the producers over this stupid fight."

He watched a small smile slip across Namjoon's face; it almost looked like he was proud of him. He tried his best to not flinch as the older boy reached out and ruffled his hair before rising from the bench. "That's good, Jungkook. Because I really think you and Taehyung are going to be fine. Maybe just- loosen up a little bit. No one's here to hurt you. The chip you keep on your shoulder… You don't need to have it with us. Now let's go eat lunch. I see Jin unpacking it over there."

Jungkook hopped down from his perch and followed the leader away from the court and towards the rusted picnic table that Jin and Taehyung had commandeered as their own. Jungkook tried to avoid looking at Taehyung, but ultimately failed when Jin conspiratorially ordered them to begin laying out the food for everyone together. The oldest of their hyungs clearly tried to make it nonchalant, the way he disappeared as soon as they started working together, but it was clear he was trying to give them space.

Prepared to apologize once again, Jungkook opened his mouth and turned to Taehyung with sagging shoulders. But he was cut off, "I know that you're sorry, Jungkook. I know that Namjoon told you to apologize and that you are for the sake of the group. I appreciate the gesture, I just really don't want to hear it right now."

He hadn't been expecting that response. Or, he guessed it wasn't really a response at all since he hadn't gotten to say anything first. He made to speak once again and was cut off with a large hand flung up between them. "Please, just don't. We're cool. We don't have to be friends, just teammates. I'm just as fine with that as you are." With that, the older boy threw the extra paper bowls he had been laying out into the bag of supplies and walked away, leaving Jungkook to finish assembling lunch.

It was surprising to him. How much it hurt when someone just said their piece and walked away without caring about what you had to say. But that's what he'd been doing the whole time to all of his hyungs. He wished he could have told Tae that he wasn't fine with only being teammates; that being his friend _was_ something he desired. But it was too little, too late, so he just continued to set up the table by himself.

* * *

Lunch was an awkward affair. In a very valiant effort to force the two youngest boys to talk to each other, Jin had stealthily arranged everyone into a seating chart that left Jungkook and Taehyung squished together. They continuously bumped elbows, despite desperately leaning away from each other to avoid doing so, but they still refused to speak.

Hoseok, who was sitting on the other side of Jungkook from Taehyung, kept up a healthy rambling about the basketball game he had just lost to Yoongi's team. Yoongi didn't say much about the victory, but elation was dripping from him to accompany the rivers of sweat that were cascading down his face.

"But I actually made a basket! I've never been able to do that before!" Hobi continued past mouthfuls of Jin's food. "We should play more often, hyung!"

"Sure, sure." Yoongi bobbed his head noncommittally, his eyes raking across the tense maknaes as Taehyung tapped away on his phone while Jungkook stared intently far off into the distance. "Hey, Taehyung. I don't think I have your phone number."

Slightly confused by the comment, Tae's eyebrows knotted together across his forehead. "Oh. No, I guess we haven't exchanged any of that yet. I don't think I've actually gotten any of your numbers." He glanced around the table, purposefully leaning forward to see Hoseok, whose body was hidden behind Jungkook's in his line of sight.

Yoongi reached out and motioned for the eighteen year old's phone, placing his own in the boy's palm with the contact screen open. It took a few minutes, but Taehyung's phone made its way around the table before it was slid definitively in front of Jungkook. No one spoke, waiting for the maknae's reaction. Carefully, the youngest picked up the phone as if it might shatter in his hands. Everyone watched openly as he keyed his contact information in before extending the phone sideways towards Taehyung.

Tae reached out to grab it, but at the last moment, held the younger boy's fingers tightly around the phone, refusing to let him pull away. He waited, patiently, though he began to lose his resolve as he realized the rest of their team members were staring even more intently at the interaction now. Finally, Jungkook shook his dark bangs out of his eyes and stared into Taehyung's openly apologetic and questioning ones. Something passed between them, but no one was sure what it was other than a silent apology, from both parties.

"Thanks, Kookie." Taehyung said quietly, finally letting go of Jungkook's fingers and returning his phone to his back pocket. As if a spell had broken, everyone returned to their food and the small talk conversations they had previously been having. Luckily, the awkward tension in the air had released slightly. They all pretended to not notice the way Jungkook's shoulders deflated into relaxation. Namjoon in particular had to bite back a smile as he watched the two maknaes' upper arms and shoulders push into each other as they settled into their close quarters on the bench at last.

* * *

"What are you guys doing?" Namjoon asked incredulously from the small dining room table. As soon as they had all gotten home, he and his laptop had taken up a seemingly permanent residence on the tiny surface. But now, he had finally glanced up from his work to see three large bedroom comforters (one of which he was pretty sure belonged on his bunk), a pile of pillows, and multiple bowls of snacks appear on the floor of the living room.

Taehyung and Jin were pulling the small coffee table across the carpet and into the corner of the room to make more room for their makeshift bed on the floor. The two of them were dressed in what looked to be their pajamas, despite it only being 5:30 pm and nowhere near time for bed. Taehyung's hair was sopping wet, as he hadn't really dried it after climbing out of his speedy shower, and Jin was griping at him about how the pillows would get wet with his hair that way and how likely he would be to get a cold.

"Just go blow dry it or something! Or wrap it in a towel! It's like a mop." Jin frowned as he reached up to brush the younger boy's bangs from his eyes before making a disgusted sound and flapping his hand around to shake off the water on his now sopping hand. "Quickly though!"

Namjoon still hadn't gotten an answer to his question when Taehyung had mumbled "Yes, hyung" to Jin's request before disappearing down the hall once again to follow the elder's orders. So he cleared his throat and rose to his feet. Jin was still setting up their pallette on the floor, tucking a small Jigglypuff plush into the crack of two pillows. "Hyung?"

"What's up?" The oldest man's eyes didn't leave his task, arranging and rearranging the bowls of snacks on the floor in what he thought would be the most pleasing progression of taste.

Namjoon sighed and leaned against the doorframe to the kitchen, "I was just wondering what you guys are doing?" He could hear the communal hair dryer blowing mutely from behind the closed door to the bathroom.

"Oh!" Jin rose to his feet and spun around. "Taehyung and I are going to have a Sailor Moon marathon. We figured if we get started early enough, we can make some serious headway tonight." He watched Namjoon's face scrunch up in amusement and his head rock slightly back and forth on his shoulders. "What?" Jin was used to being teased by the others, particularly Namjoon, so he wasn't actually offended. But to keep up appearances, he pretended to be.

"Nothing, hyung. I'm just glad you guys are getting along so well." Namjoon sunk down the wall to sit on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest as he watched Jin settle into his own spot in the blankets a few feet away.

Jin nodded. He picked at the skin on his thumb, his eyes glued to the quickly reddening skin. "Someone needs to be nice to the kid." His voice wasn't loud, he didn't want to be heard by Taehyung in the bathroom or anyone else that happened to be hanging around. But Namjoon heard him and nodded solemnly in agreement. It seemed to serve as permission for the floodgates to open and Jin to put a voice to what they had all been thinking over the last week. "What the hell is going on with them? I just don't get it; everytime I think Jungkook is starting to get comfortable and open up to us, he pulls back. And they have some sort of weird tension that I just don't understand. It's like they hate each other but it's only been a week. What are we going to do?"

Jin was always this way. Worrying about the others more than was probably his job to worry, but he just couldn't help it. It was endearing and welcomed by everyone, including Namjoon, although the relationship between the two of them had always been more of equals despite the age discrepancy. The nervous picking got worse before Namjoon reached out to still the older man's hands.

"They don't hate each other. I don't think Taehyung dislikes Jungkook at all, from what I've seen. I just think- it's growing pains. He's pushing Jungkook more than he wants to be pushed and it's causing some friction. They'll be fine." He wasn't so sure himself, but his talk with the maknae had made him feel slightly more at ease, knowing that he didn't want Tae to be kicked out of the band. He listened for the blow dryer, which was still going strong down the hall, before leaning in to whisper to Jin the thought that had been nagging at him all day. "Doesn't it seem like.. Something else is going on?"

"Like what?" Jin's eyebrows rose skeptically, but he had also dropped his voice and leaned in.

"I don't know… Just- There's almost like, sexual tension or something." Namjoon shook his head like he had already talked himself out of the theory. "Or maybe I'm imagining things. We're cooped up in this house or at the studio so much; maybe they're just both going stir-crazy. I know I am."

At that moment, the bathroom door opened to reveal a now bone dry Taehyung with his phone in his hand. The two oldest members shifted apart as he strode into the living room, his eyes still trained on the screen he was tapping a message into. When he was done, he glanced up and grinned a rectangular smile at Namjoon. "Oh, are you going to watch Sailor Moon with us, hyung?"

Namjoon shook his head. "No, I'll leave that to you guys. I think I'm heading to the studio with Hoseok and Jungkook."

"Oh." Taehyung sank into his spot next to Jin, suddenly intently focused on his phone again. The two older members exchanged knowing glances, but said nothing.

Suddenly, the bedroom door flew open and the blurred form of Hoseok came streaking through the living room and into the kitchen. "Need me to pack you a water bottle, Joon?" The energetic man called over his shoulder as he passed.

"No thanks. I'm probably not going to dance with you guys; I just need a change in scenery to keep working on these lyrics..." Namjoon's voice faded as he followed the other member into the kitchen.

Jin turned to Taehyung, waiting until he looked up from his phone to smile at him and ask, "Are you ready?" The younger boy opened his mouth to reply, but Jungkook had come slinking into the living room and Tae's mouth snapped conspicuously shut.

Even though the number exchange at lunch had dissolved some of the tension between them, Tae was still smarting from the way Jungkook had dismissed him as just a coworker. He probably should have forgiven him, knowing the mood swings were just a part of the kid, but it had really hurt his feelings. He was trying his best to pull the boy out of his shell, but the constant resistance was exhausting; and as rewarding as the small smiles and moments of comradery were, he was losing his resolve.

So he trained his eyes on his phone, where a text message had suddenly blipped onto the screen from an unknown number.

 **Unknown:** Hey taehyung this is doyun.

 **Taehyung:** Oh! Hey, what's up?

 **Doyun** : nothing much

 **Doyun:** was just thinking about u

 **Doyun:** thought id see how ur day off was

"Who're you talking to?" Jin's voice held more curiosity than malice as he leaned over Tae's shoulder to look at the text conversation. However, it was instinctual when the eighteen year old dropped his phone from between his long fingers and into his lap where the older boy wouldn't see the conversation. It seemed to be too late though, because Jin was smiling teasingly at him. "Doyun, huh? Man, he must really like you. I think he's only ever texted Joon and it was about work."

Taehyung could feel his cheeks heating up, but he swallowed it down and tried to look anything short of panicked. "Who says he's not texting me about work?"

Jin laughed, a barking, seal-like guffaw that wracked his whole body. "'I was thinking about you' doesn't exactly sound work related. I think he's just making up excuses to-"

"I'll meet you guys downstairs." Jungkook's voice cut over Jin's. It was too loud and clearly strained. But it was directed towards Namjoon and Hoseok in the kitchen, not towards the two boys curled up on the floor. Tae's eyes shot up to see the sixteen year old's dark eyes narrow and a large lump that must of been his tongue push into his cheek. And then he was gone; out the door in a flash, leaving behind only the reverberation of the slammed front door.

No one said anything for a moment, though Namjoon and Hobi had appeared in the kitchen door as soon as they had heard the slam. Taehyung was bewildered. What could possibly be his problem now? Was he just perpetually angry? Didn't he get tired of being so pissed off all the time? Tae was exhausted just from being around it.

Namjoon and Jin were holding a silent conversation with just their eyes, something Tae was slowly getting used to living with. It was slightly frustrating, never understanding what they were talking about or if they were discussing him behind his back. But it didn't seem malicious; it just seemed like they had a mutual understanding of what it took to run the group together, despite Namjoon being the official leader.

"I'll talk to him." Namjoon finally said out loud to the room at large. He motioned to Hobi that they should leave before crossing to the table to pack up his laptop for the trek to the studio.

"Is it my fault?" Taehyung asked the room, staring at the loose string he was picking at on the tattered gym shorts that served as his pajamas. He didn't want to look at any of them, but when no one answered, he lifted his eyes to glance at the three other members. "Is Jungkook's constant attitude problem because of me? Or has he always been like this?"

Jin opened his mouth to speak, but a voice from the hallway cut him off. "He's always been stand-offish, but something about you has him all sorts of riled up." Yoongi entered the room and settled on the couch, ignoring the warning glances everyone but Taehyung was sending him. The youngest member in the room was simply staring at the rapper with wide, bewildered eyes, waiting patiently for a further explanation.

He hoped he would actually get some clarity from Yoongi, who seemed to be the straightest shooter out of everyone in the house. He didn't have to wait long.

"I think he doesn't know how to deal with you. You unnerve him, constantly catch him off guard. It's too much for his little hormonal brain to take." Yoongi smiled softly to soften his statement, he didn't actually mean anything against the maknae after all. "The touching is probably the main thing."

Taehyung's tone turned argumentative quicker than he meant for it to. "But I didn't even touch him. I wasn't even talking to him! Jin and I were talking about Doyun. What could that possibly have to do with him being a hermit crab who wants no fellow crustaceans to penetrate his shell?"

He hadn't meant it as a joke, just a well-placed metaphor, but it still had the other members laughing unexpectedly. He pouted, waiting for them to finish before turning to Jin. "Can we just watch our show now?"

"Sure, Tae." Jin smiled appeasingly at him, before turning to the others. "You guys better get going before he takes off without you. It's going to get dark soon; we don't want him walking downtown alone."

Namjoon and Hobi nodded, saying their goodbyes and disappearing out into the hall. Yoongi had not moved from his spot on the couch; in fact, it looked as though he was settling in for the long haul. "Are you joining us, Yoongs?" Jin asked as if he couldn't believe it. When the tiny rapper nodded, Jin grinned widely before passing him a bowl of seaweed snacks to munch on. "Fantastic! The more, the merrier!"

Once the lights had been switched off and Jin was settled into their sea of blankets, Tae was allowed to start the first episode of the show. He waited as long as he could stand it before he dug his phone out from under his legs to check his messages.

 **Doyun:** u there?

 **Taehyung:** Yeah, I'm here. Sorry, teammate/roommate drama. My day off was… decent enough. Sadly I think I'm ready for school to start up

 **Doyun:** lol i forget how young u r

 **Doyun:** makes me feel like a creepy old man

 **Taehyung:** Why? You're not that much older than me. Are you? Wait, how old are you?

 **Doyun:** oh, i thought i told u

 **Doyun:** im 32

 **Taehyung:** oh. Okay. Well that's fine. No big deal. You wouldn't even know, but now I feel really awkward for not calling you hyung…

 **Doyun:** im kidding, Taehyung. im 20

 **Doyun:** not ancient

Tae must have made a noise or something at the revelation that he hadn't been wildly inappropriate towards a producer all this time, because he looked up to find Yoongi openly staring at the side of his face. It still freaked him out, the all-knowing owl that was Min Yoongi, but he was slowly learning to deal with it. He raised a questioning eyebrow towards his hyung, trying to keep from disturbing Jin, who was clearly very in to the first episode of Sailor Moon.

"He's probably jealous of that." Yoongi's voice was low and only barely reached Taehyung's ears. Then his tiny hand reached out and a short, stubby finger poked gently into Taehyung's cheek. "Whoever makes you smile like that is someone to be jealous of if you're Jungkook."

Whatever that meant.

* * *

Jungkook had spent a great majority of Saturday night dancing through any and every routine Hoseok could throw at him. They didn't talk much, which he appreciated. The older dancer was normally pretty talkative, even during dance lessons with the whole group, but dancing alone with Jungkook allowed him to focus in on perfecting the moves. It was no secret that Jungkook had improved greatly since he had first joined the group and was now to a level that could reasonably keep up with the head dancer.

They had worked and worked until they were drenched in sweat and breathing so heavily that Namjoon had heard them past his headphones. Which was when he decided it was time for them to return to the apartment. But it had been so late, and the streets so dark, that they had been forced to call up a producer to take them home. It was something Mr. Bang often encouraged them to do, although they hated to bother any of the staff during their off hours. But they ultimately had no money for a cab, so they relented and called for a ride.

When they finally reached the apartment, they found Jin and Taehyung passed out on the floor together. As they had entered the quiet living room, they had been motioned to keep quiet by a lurking Yoongi, who was coming out of the kitchen with a bowl of ramen. He held a finger up to his lips, pointed at the two curled up together on the floor, and rolled his eyes before stalking off towards the bedroom.

Jungkook had snuck past his two hyung's sleeping forms, trying desperately to fight down the bile that rose in his throat when he saw how casually Taehyung's arm was flung across Jin's waist. They were legitimately spooning, with Tae's front to Jin's back, and the sight made Jungkook's blood boil momentarily before he remembered the various girls he had seen Jin parade through the studio over the past few months. Something about being an up-and-coming idol really seemed to work out for the oldest member's pickup game.

So he had gone to bed with the others, pretending to fall asleep just as quickly, though it had definitely taken a few hours for his eyes to finally fall closed. He pretended to not notice that he only fully relaxed when he heard a creaking from below his own bunk as someone settled into their bed at last.

* * *

Sunday was more of the same. More Sailor Moon. A healthy dose of cleaning at the behest of Jin, who proclaimed that they really should do so at least once a week given how many people were squeezed into the tiny apartment. And more working for those dedicated enough to squander their last day off on the same routines they would be continuing to practice for months to come.

They had all been allowed to split off and do their own thing with the promise that everyone would be back in time for Jin's family meal that he had insisted on making in celebration of Jungkook and Taehyung's return to school the following day. Everyone had agreed in order to avoid his screeching and had enjoyed their afternoon in peace.

But now all six of them sat together around the coffee table, knocking elbows and rearranging plates so everything would fit on the too small surface as they ate. It had been a long day of watching anime for Jin and Taehyung, with the others filtering in as they pleased. But such a long day of binge watching meant they had been snacking the whole time, so now that Taehyung was actually sitting down for a meal, he wasn't very hungry.

This clearly didn't apply to the others, who were ravenously shoving food into their mouths at rapid speeds. Yoongi and Hoseok were shoving each other with their elbows, trying to keep the other from bumping the chopsticks out of their hands. Taehyung chuckled at the sight. He himself hadn't even bothered filling a bowl, so was now sitting on the floor with everyone, leaning back on his hands to stay propped up. Jin must have noticed.

"Aren't you hungry, Taehyung?" He looked slightly worried. "I can make you something else if you don't like this."

Before Taehyung could explain that he loved Bulgogi, but just couldn't fathom filling his stomach any more, Jungkook snorted from his spot across the table. "What? You would never make something different for any of us. You've literally told me to fuck off and find my own food before." He was acting incredulous, but there was laughter in his eyes as he teased the oldest member. "You must like Taehyung more than the rest of us."

Jin reached over to slap Jungkook's shoulder, decently hard before rolling his eyes and picking up his chopsticks. "I definitely like him more than you, brat. Now eat your food or I'll take it away."

It went quiet for a little bit, with everyone stuffing their faces and clacking away on their phones. All of a sudden, Namjoon's head shot up and he cleared his throat as if he was about to start a formal meeting. "I just got a text from Mr. Bang and it looks like they're holding more auditions over the next few weeks. We should have a new member within the next month or two."

"Oh, shit. That was fast. I thought we were capping at six?" Yoongi questioned while reaching for Namjoon's phone to read over the texts. The leader handed over the phone without question, which Tae found slightly surprising. Although, he probably shouldn't have considering how close the two men were, being both the first two members of the group and from the same underground rap scene. Or so he had picked up from walking in and listening to conversations between the two of them.

Namjoon shook his head and answered Yoongi's question even though he was clearly going to get it answered himself, probably for the benefit of everyone else in the room. "They thought that six would be the number, but now…" He licked his lips and looked anywhere but at Taehyung, which immediately sent panic shooting through the eighteen year old. "Well, they just think they should focus more on the dance aspect of the group. To round us out, you know."

No one said anything. They didn't have to. Six hadn't been enough because the sixth member wasn't pulling his weight. It stung, like the tears that were threatening to fill Tae's eyes, to know that he was putting them in a position where they needed someone else to fulfill his role since he couldn't do it alone. It made him feel stupid for staying at home over the free weekend when he could have gone with Hobi and Jungkook to the studio to work on his dancing.

Taehyung knew he needed all the practice he could get, but he just hadn't wanted to pass up the chance to hang out with Jin. And binging Sailor Moon was fun. It made him feel like he was at home with Minjun. It made him feel like he was actually making friends with someone in the group outside of just being coworkers. But like Jungkook had said, it was the work that mattered. His family was depending on him to make this work; they had given up so much money, time, and effort to let him pursue this spontaneous dream. And it wasn't just them. The other members needed him to perform as well. They all needed this to work out so badly, you could feel it in the air when they talked about the distant, but also somehow impending debut they were all working towards.

"Well that makes sense. It takes a variety of people to counteract your gracelessness, Joonie." Jin grinned cheekily at the younger man, clearly trying to cut the tension that had just filled the room. He received some sort of food item thrown at his head in response.

Taehyung decided that not only was he not hungry, he wasn't all that interested in sitting around watching other people eat. So he rose to his feet, crept from the living room to the bedroom, and threw himself into his bottom bunk. He was still determined to not cry, even as he was now alone, but he couldn't help it. Hot tears streamed down his cheeks and off of his chin. He buried his face in the pillow and took shallow, labored breaths through the fabric.

He couldn't do this. That much was clear. He wasn't talented enough and although Doyun had originally assured him that being visually appealing was a majority of the job, that clearly wasn't the case. Not to mention, he was positively sure that he didn't even fulfill that requirement. Why was he even here? Because Doyun had recommended him? He wished the older man hadn't. He wished he was at home, in his family's living room with his parents, spending his last evening before the school year started back up with the people that loved him unconditionally. The people that didn't watch and critique him through every part of his day.

God, he was homesick. The busy, double schedule for the week had taken his mind off of most of the aching, but now it was flooding in and knocking the breath from his lungs. He was choking on sobs now, close to hyperventilating. He prayed that the others couldn't hear him, that he had closed the door when he had entered the bedroom. He didn't even have the energy to glance up and check. If he could just go to bed, it would all be better. If he could just cry himself to sleep, avoid the headache and puffy eyes that a decent cry like this would ultimately produce, he would be okay in the morning.

Back in the living room, no one was really all that hungry anymore. What had felt to Taehyung like a simple walk to the bedroom had come off as a desperate escape from the situation and conversation that was taking place in the living room. It was ultimately Namjoon that spoke up, as usual, as was expected. "I'll go check on him, I think."

"Well, what if he went to sleep? He might just need to rest. It's been a rough week. It's always the hardest and longest; maybe we just give him time?" Jin was biting the inside of his cheek repeatedly while wringing his hands in an almost textbook definition of worry.

"If he's asleep already, I won't bother him. I just think he should know that we care and are here if he needs to talk." Namjoon hadn't quite gotten up yet, but it was clear he planned on rising to his feet soon. "Has anyone talked to him? Is he doing okay? Does he… Has he heard anything about the producers or anything?" His eyes were trained on Jungkook now. He was the only one that Namjoon had told about the secret discussions he had been privy to in the studio. But the maknae kept his eyes on his bowl, where he was swirling leftover rice around in circles.

Namjoon hadn't really expected a response, so he sighed and started to look away. He almost missed the imperceptible shake of Jungkook's head. No, he hadn't mentioned it to Taehyung. And everyone else at the table looked slightly confused, so clearly no one else had either. So it wasn't as bad as Namjoon had thought. "Okay, then. I'll be right back."

"I think Jungkook should go." Yoongi had reached out and grabbed the leader's arm to keep him from leaving. "You know, if it's just homesickness, I think he'd be the best person for Taehyung to talk to. We all remember how hard it was for you to deal with when you first came; you were the only one out of us that was still dependent upon your parents, being so young and everything."

Yoongi was speaking directly to the maknae now, his dark eyes almost challenging him to deny it. The rapper could be cruel in his bluntness, speaking exactly what he was thinking as it came into his head, but it was almost always constructive and necessary with the understanding that he was only trying to help everyone else do the right thing. But Jungkook wasn't looking at him, still glaring down into the mostly empty bowl.

"Plus, I thought you guys were friends."

This was the comment that bit into Jungkook more than Yoongi probably meant for it to. His head shot up and he snarled unhappily at the older member, "Aren't you his friend? Why don't you go talk to him?"

The animosity was unexpected, but the declaration was not. Yoongi stared at Jungkook for a few long seconds, seeming to scope out the youngest member and not entirely like what he saw. But eventually he just shook his head before climbing to his feet next to Namjoon, who was standing awkwardly and watching the whole exchange. "You're right. I am his friend. And friends should probably help each other out instead of pushing each other away."

Yoongi patted Namjoon on the back as he passed, urging the man to return to sitting on the floor. He didn't say anything else, just disappeared down the hallway.

Jin glanced at Namjoon, who was now sitting again, with furrowed brows and worry in his eyes. They spoke to each other silently, in code as always, but this time even Hoseok picked up on the nuances of the muted conversation. Suddenly, Jin and Hoseok both rose to their feet and left the room. There weren't any places to go that weren't currently being occupied by sullen teenagers, so Hobi quietly suggested that they put on their coats and go for a walk. Jin nodded in agreement and followed the normally smiley, but now slightly sullen man out into the apartment hallway.

The two members left in the living room didn't look at each other. They didn't say anything either. They simply both picked up their chopsticks and returned to their meals in silence, waiting for the appropriate time to enter the bedroom to fall into their own restless slumber.

* * *

Taehyung woke the next morning to the alarm on his phone. It was the first time he had done so in a month, with the break not requiring any particular wake up time. And during the first week of training, someone else had always woken him up to head to the studio. But he had set his own alarm this time. It was the first day at a new school.

He climbed out of his bunk, using the light of his phone to search through his suitcase for the uniform that had been dropped off by a producer a few days before. This situation was kind of every kid's nightmare; to start a new school the last semester of your senior year of high school. But he wasn't overly worried. He'd make friends, or he wouldn't. He'd like his teachers, or he wouldn't. It was comforting to know that high school was just a finish line to cross. He had built in friends out of (at least some) of his fellow members and he was already working towards his future in a way that most other 18 year olds couldn't boast.

After finding all the pieces of his uniform, Taehyung slipped into the hallway and across to the bathroom, careful not to wake anyone. The sun was not yet up, but he hadn't wanted to oversleep and lose his opportunity to groom himself in the way he wanted. So he climbed in the shower and got started on a more extensive morning routine than he had ever gone through in his life.

Eventually, Jungkook had emerged from the bedroom in his own wrinkled, disheveled uniform. His dark hair was standing up all over his head, but somehow still managed to look flattened by sleep. At this point, Taehyung was sitting in the living room on his phone, passing the time until it would be time to leave. Getting ready had taken much less time than he had thought, despite actually blow drying and putting product in his shaggy hair.

"Aren't you going to shower?" He asked the maknae from the couch. Jungkook groaned quietly and shook his head. "Did you take one last night?" Tae got a nod this time, but he kept pressing. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen you go into the bathroom to shower."

Jungkook said nothing; he was pulling on his shoes and shoving some stacked up books into his backpack. Taehyung continued, "Do you shower often? Like, I've seen everyone else at least mention going to take a shower. But not you. When do you do it?"

He didn't expect a response, and he didn't get one to his questions, but Jungkook did finally turn to look at him. "Are you ready to leave? We might as well clear out of here before the others wake up for their jobs."

"They work?" Taehyung was baffled. They had been home with him and Jungkook the whole week. None of them had mentioned doing anything but practice during the days. "All of them?"

Jungkook shook his head. "No, just Namjoon and Yoongi right now. Namjoon works temp positions in offices around the city as they need him. Last week must not have had an assignment. And Yoongi delivers food for a restaurant up the street, but he only works part time there. I think Jin and Hoseok are looking for openings too."

Taehyung was still a little thrown off by the revelation. "Huh. Well, okay then. I guess I just didn't really think about what their days would be filled with." He grabbed his own already filled backpack and motioned Jungkook towards the door. "So, what do we do on normal days? Go to school and then the studio right after..?"

They were walking together through the hallway and Taehyung couldn't help but feel some relief that the younger boy was willing to talk to him today. He was nervous enough as it was; he didn't want to have to figure out the new school and routine all by himself. Jungkook cleared his throat as he pushed open the door to the building and stepped out onto the cold streets.

Luckily, they had both had the foresight to grab their coats on the way out. Sometimes, with how warm Yoongi liked to keep the apartment, it was easy to forget that it was still the middle of winter outside. "Yeah, it's kind of rough sometimes. I'm normally already tired when we make it to the studio. But classes all day; when those let out we head to the studio and practice until dinner and then go home. Do the whole thing over Monday through Friday. Then on the weekends we have double schedules like we did last week. It's pretty… exhausting."

Taehyung nodded along, feeling slightly overwhelmed already. "Hey, thanks for letting me walk with you. I'm… sorry about all the shit that's been happening. I hope- Well, I'll try not to bother you too much at school."

Jungkook shook his bangs into his eyes, something Taehyung noticed was his way of trying to avoid eye contact. "Oh. Yeah, it's all good. Don't worry about it, man." Tae nodded and they walked on. They didn't really speak again until it was clear they were getting close to the high school.

The sun had fully risen from behind the horizon and was now lighting up the bustling streets filled with other teens in school uniforms just like Tae and Jungkook's. "Well, this is it. I think, you'll probably get your schedule in the office or something." Jungkook pretended like he didn't know; like he hadn't been just as new to this school not that long ago. He grimaced at the older boy and pled with his eyes when he asked, "Do you need me to show you around?"

Taehyung could tell that this was the absolute last thing Jungkook wanted to do. The younger boy was glancing around them at the students that were passing, possibly making sure no one he knew saw them together. That was a little painful, but Taehyung understood. Jungkook clearly didn't want any extra attention brought onto him.

"No, I'll be okay. Could you at least-" But Jungkook was gone in a flash, and Taehyung was left alone on the steps leading up to the three story building. He glanced around and noticed a group of girls whispering behind their hands and conspicuously pointing at him. He groaned internally. He loved girls, to be friends with, but… His fear of confession was so rampant that he pulled away from any female attention. He hoisted his backpack up his shoulder and pushed into the building.

It wasn't all that dissimilar to his old high school. Sterile, tile hallways with lockers and hand-made posters lining the walls. But his old school had been filled with familiar faces and there was no one familiar here. It hit him once again how out of his element he was. Taehyung glanced around desperately for some sign of the front office and luckily it was well-positioned very near to the entrance.

The woman manning the front desk was kind and looked him up on the computer in order to print his schedule and provide him with some kind of instruction on how to get to his first class before turning away to help the next student. So Taehyung just kind of strode through the hallways, glancing around at his fellow students to try and get a feel for who he would get along with. His first class was Trigonometry, of course his least favorite, but he found the room easily and slid into an empty seat towards the back of the room. He hoped it wouldn't be too painful.

When the teacher arrived to begin class, she overheard the students whispering about the new transfer student in the back and so of course she made him stand to introduce himself. "I'm Kim Taehyung. I just transferred here from Daegu," He heard someone in the room whisper 'Yeah, we could tell.'

He didn't let the comment shake him. He refused to let this school be a repeat of his last, where he was either ignored or found to be too weird to conceivably not bully. So he flashed his best imitation of an idol smirk and continued, "I'm here as a trainee for an idol company. We'll be debuting soon."

Well, the last part was a lie. He had no idea when they would be debuting, but the impressed looks and envious glances he got made the fib worth it. Taehyung sat back down feeling better now that people seemed to at least be curious about him for something other than his weirdness. Class began and he fell quickly into the normal rhythm of staring out the window and largely ignoring the lesson. Maybe this wasn't all that different from home after all.

When class was over and the teacher dismissed them, a tall, muscular boy sitting at the desk diagonal from Taehyung leaned over to get his attention. "Hey, I'm Moonsoo." Taehyung greeted him in return as they exited the classroom together. "My younger brother just became a trainee at JYP. What company are you with?"

Tae blanched. Everyone clearly knew JYP, but he doubted very much that anyone had heard of BigHit. And now the brag he had found so brilliant only an hour before now seemed like a giant pile of shit he had walked right into. But he wanted to be honest, so he said sheepishly, "Oh, it's a little company. You probably haven't heard of it. We're… Kind of up and comers I guess."

He fully expected Moonsoo to scoff at him and walk off, because, you see, Moonsoo looked way more like idol material than Taehyung. He was gorgeous, to put it bluntly. His hair was a shiny black that was perfectly styled into a towering coiff, he had large diamond studs in his ears and his teeth were quite possibly the straightest, whitest, most blinding teeth Taehyung had ever seen. Even his uniform, which should have been just a standard issue one like the one Tae was wearing, looked like it may have been tailored to fit his muscular frame.

Taehyung's own brain betrayed him and began to really try visualizing what kind of chest was under the uniform top, but he forced it down quickly and swallowed the lump in his throat.

Moonsoo did not scoff. He instead flashed those perfect teeth and threw an arm around Taehyung's shoulders as if they had been friends their whole life instead of just having met 20 seconds ago. "That's all good, dude. Tell you what, why don't you find me at lunch? You can sit with me and my crew. So you aren't alone."

It seemed genuine, but was also such an abrupt invitation that Taehyung faltered. Was this guy setting him up for some cruel shit? He didn't want to walk into something like an idiot. But Moonsoo must have been pretty observant because he noticed the hesitation and chuckled aloud. "I'm not fucking with you. We aren't a hazing group. I just thought you might like some company at lunch. It can be pretty awkward to eat by yourself and the cafeteria is just insanely cliquey, you know? But hey, it's totally up to you. No pressure at all."

And then the tall boy was gone. And Taehyung's shoulders were cold. And there was a new group of girls giggling at him in the hallway, but this time it seemed to be related to the actually attractive man that had just walked off. So Tae wandered around until he found his next class; and then the next and the next, until finally, it was lunch time.

He thought he had seen Jungkook in the crowd between classes a few times, but the person had disappeared before he had gotten a good luck. He had meant what he'd said, he wouldn't bother the maknae if he didn't want to be seen with him.

Moonsoo had been right, the cafeteria was extremely cliquey. There wasn't an empty table in sight. And unless you wanted to sit with the other outcasts that had no one to sit with and therefore congregated in silence, you were pretty limited on your options. So Taehyung was relieved when he saw Moonsoo rise to his feet and motion him over to the empty spot at his already extremely crowded table.

Introductions were made, but there were so many that they all blurred together and Taehyung decided he would just refer to everyone as 'hey you' until he could really put in the effort to learn all the names. So far, there was no "Sike! You can't sit here you fucking nerd!" thrown at him, so he settled in to eating the lunch Jin had so lovingly packed him. Everyone else was eating cafeteria food, but they didn't make any comments on his own packed lunch.

It was all going fine until he heard on of the girls across the table whispering to her friend about some guy in one of her classes. Tae wasn't all that interested in the conversation until he heard Jungkook's name fall from the shorter, plumper girl's lips. That got his attention extremely quickly.

"Like, he's cute, in a kind of toddler throwing a temper tantrum way. But I don't see him as potential boyfriend material or anything." The taller girl sneered through dark plum lipstick. "Besides, I heard he just plain ignored the last girl that hit on him. Like he left her just standing there. Didn't say anything. She was so humiliated, she puked. He seems like a prick."

The plump girl opened her mouth with the clear intention of arguing, but Taehyung cut in before she could speak, or before he could think better of it. "He's not a prick. He's just shy."

They both stared at him, not really sure of what to say in response to that. Moonsoo broke in, "Oh, do you know Jungkook, Taehyung? Jeon Jungkook, that is. I think there's a few Jungkooks in the school, you know."

Taehyung nodded once and returned to his meal. He was so stupid. Keeping his mouth shut and leaving Jungkook alone was pretty much the only thing he had been asked to do by the maknae. He had already fucked that up.

"How do you know him? I thought you just got here." Tall girl asked skeptically. Taehyung noticed passively that neither she, nor the plump girl had eaten anything since they sat down. Instead, they were both sucking on pieces of ice they had filled cups with at the soda machine across the room. That's… probably not healthy.

He shrugged. "Oh, he's just a trainee with me. We're in the same group."

Well that just changed everything. Suddenly plump girl and tall girl were enthralled. "Oh my gosh, he's going to be an idol too? You should totally introduce us! Or just give us his number and we'll skip right to that.

"Isn't he a little young?" Taehyung was uncomfortable now. Something told him that Jungkook would definitely not want these girls to have his number and he had no intention of giving it to them. In fact, just the thought of them messaging the sixteen year old, flirting with him as openly as they seemed to be willing to, made Taehyung's stomach turn. "He's only sixteen."

"Uh, we're only fifteen. How old are you? You look like a baby. No, wait- like a fairy." Tall girl laughed at the double meaning. Fairy, gay. Fantastic. And so it begins.

Moonsoo cut in before things got out of hand. "Taehyung's a senior with me. We're in the same Trig class. And calling someone a 'fairy' isn't cool. I've explained this to you two."

And that's all it took to put the whole thing to rest. Moonsoo seemed to have some sort of power over, not just the girls, but everyone in the group. Taehyung wondered what he had gotten himself into, but he wasn't too overly concerned. School drama was just school drama. And in five more months, it would all be behind him.

They all returned to more mundane conversations, and Taehyung was left to eat his lunch quietly while observing said conversations. Tae connected eyes with Moonsoo, who grinned openly at him. The guy seemed cool. Way too cool to be hanging out with Kim Taehyung. But he would take it for now. He didn't want to spend the next few months all alone at school. All in all, it wasn't a bad first lunch.

* * *

The rest of the day passed by in a blur that looked identical to the morning. As each class began, Taehyung stood up to introduce himself, although he left out the trainee part now so as to not gain too much attention. No one was mean to him, but no one paid much attention either. Before he knew it, the day was over and he was waiting for Jungkook outside on the steps as the maknae had told him to do in a text earlier in the day.

He hadn't been waiting long with the younger boy appeared, grabbed him by the arm of his coat and dragged him quickly away from the school. "Let's get the fuck out of here."

Taehyung stumbled to keep up despite their similar leg lengths. "What's wrong, Jungkook? Was your day bad?" No answer. "Can we please slow down? I can't walk this fast." Not that he was really walking; more like being dragged through the busy streets of Seoul trying to avoid being hit by a rogue taxi cab.

"Oh, sorry." Jungkook slowed and let go of Tae. "I just hate that place so fucking much. I'd give anything to just not go."

"Why? Do you not like your classmates?"

Jungkook chuckled but it was devoid of any actual humor. "Fuck no. I tend to operate on the assumption and belief that everyone fucking sucks and I hate them just on principal." This was new. Jungkook had always been stand-offish, but never blatantly hateful. "I can basically only stand you guys. Fuck everyone else."

The confession seemed to slip through his lips without any forethought. Jungkook's eyes widened for a moment before narrowing back into a glare. "But whatever, let's just get to practice."

Something in Taehyung's chest swelled. Jungkook didn't hate him; or at least that was the case if he was looped in with 'you guys'. And that felt good. Knowing that deep down, Jungkook did at least tolerate him. And that mixed with the fact that he may have actually made some friends that didn't think he was a freak, made this his most successful first day of school ever.

And that night's dance practice and vocal lessons seemed to be the best they'd ever been too.


	7. Chapter Seven: No More Dream

"Alright, good work everyone. That's it for tonight. Have a great night and I'll see you all tomorrow." The choreography instructor finally released them from the redundancy of class and Tae promptly fell to the floor, settling uncomfortably on his back. It was mid-February now and, despite settling into the routine of school then practice then bed, repeat, he was still struggling with the energy it took to keep up with everything.

His dancing was getting slightly better. If you count improvement as just not falling as often as before. Muscle memory helped, but he was consistently told to relax into the moves more, something he clearly was not comfortable doing. Especially when… _he_ was in the room. He consistently felt the eyes of an older boy, a certain attractive producer, following him throughout his practices. It was hard to concentrate, hard to make his movements feel natural when each twinge of muscle felt ridiculous. So he tried to ignore the audience and often kept his own eyes trained on himself in the mirror or his shoes as they skuffed across the floor; neither of which were good performance techniques as he was scolded by the instructor each time.

But now class was over and he could relax a moment before trekking through the streets in a comatose state behind the the other equally tired trainees. Taehyung had his eyes squeezed tightly shut in an attempt to block out the unnatural brightness of the fluorescent lights. But suddenly he felt as though he wasn't alone; there was definitely a presence above him. He reluctantly opened his eyes and Doyun was there, a grin spread across his face and his long fingers outstretched to help Tae to his feet. The eighteen year old accepted with a blush, dropping the older man's hand as soon as he was standing.

This was _not_ something he had settled into. His interactions with Doyun had become… strange and uncomfortable in the last few weeks. Not necessarily in a bad way; he just felt an aching tightness in his chest when the older boy was around. And the moment Doyun would look in his direction, a flurry of butterflies would begin beating around in his torso like they were aiming to escape. That's probably what made the dancing so impossible.

And in moments like this, when the older boy was standing only inches away and his eyes were boring into Taehyung's, those butterflies really became desperate for a jail break. And then it was there, between them, the dreaded words that Taehyung had been waiting to hear for the last few days. "Hey, can we talk?"

They were familiar words. Familiar in their meaning and the way they produced a hot ball of dread which dropped into Tae's lower stomach. He was familiar with the apprehension, but not with the other feeling that rushed through him. Excitement, perhaps? But that was ridiculous. He didn't want this. Particularly not from Doyun.

He kept telling himself this, even as his body stilled and he waited patiently for whatever talk Doyun was referring to. But if he was honest with himself, he knew the talk that would be sure to follow. Because as mundane as the last month had been on the surface, he had experienced first hand the shifts in the way Doyun acted around him and he could almost see the expected confession perched on Doyun's lips.

 _It had all started with a car ride to the studio. During that first week of school, on a day that Jungkook had been in one of his moods and had refused to walk to practice with Taehyung. The eighteen year old had been walking down the busy sidewalks toward BigHit, earbuds tightly secured in his ears, when he heard a car horn blaring and saw frantic waving out of the corner of his eye._

 _It was Doyun, hanging out the window of his surprisingly fancy car, screaming for Taehyung to pay attention to him. Luckily, traffic was bad and the entire street had come to a standstill, so Tae felt comfortable jogging over to the car to see what the older boy wanted. "Hey, hyung. What's up?"_

" _Well I was going to ask if you wanted a ride to the studio to save time, but at this point you might get there before I do." Doyun laughed, looking around sheepishly at the people in other cars watching the two boys interact._

" _Oh, well," Taehyung pulled his phone out to look at the time. 3:42 pm. He needed to be at the studio by four, and there was no way Doyun was going to make it out of this traffic in that amount of time. Tae bit his lip and glanced up at the older boy only to find himself being penetrated by a wary gaze. He wasn't sure what spurred him on to get into the car with an older guy that he barely knew; logically he knew it was the odd situation they were all in that made a week in the city and only a few meetings with someone seem like they were actually acquaintances, if not friends. He felt the same comfort with his fellow members, despite really only getting to know them for a few days. "I guess, you'll just have to vouch for me with the other producers so I don't get in too much trouble."_

 _With that he rounded the front of the car and slid into the passenger seat, trying to ignore the feelings that erupted inside of him when he saw Doyun's face break into a pleased smile. He quickly realized how he hadn't thought about the fact that the two of them hadn't really been alone together fully for more than a few minutes before. And they didn't know very much about each other that would make conversation flow easily. So they just didn't say much of anything, instead both pulling out their phones to pass time while they waited for the traffic to scoot forward._

 _The car was warm, which was good considering the sky outside was ominous and threatening to blanket them once again in snow. There was a sweet yet masculine scent in the air, something that smelled like wood and a sophisticated type of alcohol. It was the same scent that usually followed Doyun around; Tae realized it must be his cologne and found himself inhaling deeply before he caught himself doing it and felt a flush creep up his cheeks. He hoped to god the other boy hadn't seen or heard him literally sniff his car. But Doyun said nothing and seemed engrossed in his phone so Taehyung returned to his own._

 _Eventually, the silence was broken by Doyun clearing his throat. "Do you mind if I turn on some music?" Doyun asked sheepishly, but his hand was already on the buttons of his stereo so asking was clearly just a formality. Tae nodded all the same and continued the text he had been sending to Eunjun. She had been constantly bugging him about his new life in Seoul, despite his continuous explanations of how boring and routine it really was. And as often as she peppered in questions about his homework and classes, he knew she was also being used as a conduit for his mom to check up on him without him feeling like she was hovering._

 _He must have smiled to himself as another exasperated text came through, asking about the other members. Eunjun was very clearly edging to get some information about Yoongi, who she was still vibrantly obsessed with. Doyun chuckled to himself quietly; Tae's eyes shot up to see what was so funny. "What?"_

" _You have the weirdest smile I've ever seen." Doyun laughed again, but promptly cut himself off when he saw the scowl roll across the younger guy's face. "Wait, no. That came out wrong. Not weird- just unique. It's so… square. I just never noticed before." Tae didn't say anything. He turned his knees towards the window and pulled his arms up to cover his chest. This wasn't something that would normally make him angry; he'd been called weird his entire life and normally let it roll off his back like water. But coming from his hyung, it stung more than he wanted to admit. He suddenly wished he'd never gotten in the car._

" _I just meant that you haven't been smiling much lately. At the studio, you're always upset." Doyun shook his head vigorously, his highlighted hair flopping around in his eyes. "This is coming out all wrong. Tae… I love your smile. It's- it's cute, you know? I just wish I got to see it more, that's all."_

 _Despite how insulted he still felt, the eighteen year old could feel an elated smile tugging at his own lips. It was baffling to him. How some of the things Doyun said to him set his heart racing. Maybe it was just a dysfunctional organ; maybe he needed to ask a doctor for a new one. He bit his lip to cover the smile and remained facing the window._

" _How do you feel? About the way things are going?" Doyun asked suddenly. Taehyung wasn't surprised by the question. It was one he had been getting a lot lately. But the truth was he had no idea how he felt about his new life. He was determined to keep going, to keep trying his best and improving minutely in the areas he could; yet he felt more alone and unsure of himself than he had ever in his life and it was becoming a harder and harder feeling to ignore._

 _So he shrugged and watched the people on the sidewalk that were passing quickly by Doyun's steadily creeping car. The hand that reached out and rubbed his thigh lightly almost caused him to shriek it was so unexpected. Tae whipped his head around to look at the older boy, and whatever look he gave him must have been off-putting because Doyun gulped silently and pulled his hand away from his leg._

 _He hadn't meant to react in such a way. In general he really was fine with being touched casually by others, but this touch had set something off in his chest that he would rather it not have. "I'm sorry," He mumbled to Doyun before turning back to the window and curling in on himself. Now there was an even stronger wish that he had never gotten into the car, but it would be rude to leave now. And as much as pulling away had been a visceral reaction that he hadn't expected or been able to control, he now felt a very mild panic that it would push Doyun away from interacting with him at all. Only then did he realize that that was the last thing he wanted._

 _But he was too shy to fix it all right now, so he shut his eyes and leaned his head against the cool glass of the window._

 _They rode in silence until they reached the studio and Taehyung practically ejected himself from the vehicle before it had come to a complete stop. He didn't wait for the older boy, just rushed inside where the others were already stretching. When he received a questioning gaze from Jin, he shook his head and pulled his tennis shoes out of his bag._

 _Tae could feel that his face was clearly inflamed and it only became more so when Doyun walked into the studio and they shared a brief moment of eye contact. Yet he didn't expect for the older boy to stride directly up to him without any pretense of unfamiliarity before dropping Tae's phone, which he had clearly left in the car, onto his backpack that had been carelessly tossed on the floor of the studio. Taehyung stared down at his phone, where it now lay, trying his best to ignore the way the other members were glancing around at each other in various states of questioning._

 _He knew how it must look to them. Taehyung, stumbling in ten minutes late, with a red face and panicked demeanor. That in and of itself would be fine; maybe he had simply gotten out of class late and had been forced to run all the way to the studio. But any reasonable doubt flew right out the window when the very cool, very attractive older producer (mind you not that much older) strode into the room and returned a quite personal item straight to Taehyung. It looked way more sketchy than it was and Taehyung felt the sudden urge to turn to the other guys and explain that he had just gotten a really innocent ride to the studio that had been sabotaged by bad traffic. But it hadn't felt innocent, the hand on his thigh that was clearly meant to have been a comforting gesture but had elicited various unintended responses within Taehyung, both good and bad._

 _He could feel the eyes on him, boring holes into the side and back of his head. But he suddenly knew that he didn't feel like answering any questions, he surprisingly just wanted to practice._

 _So he was on his feet first when the choreographer strolled into the room and his eyes didn't leave the mirror in front of him for the next several hours._

But that had been a month ago, and many things had changed over those few weeks. And the hand on his leg which had once felt like a monumental, confusing event, now seemed mundane compared to the disconcerting events that had transpired only just a few days ago.

 _It was Saturday night, already around 8 o'clock surprisingly since it felt to Tae like the day had passed by in a flash. He had spent almost all day in the studio at practice and had returned home to a daunting pile of homework that he had only left abandoned long enough to take a quick shower and microwave some instant ramen. So now he sat at the table in their tiny living room, pouring over the math problems he just couldn't seem to make sense of._

 _He wished that Namjoon were there to help him, but the older boy had taken off to visit friends outside the city for the rest of the weekend and so he wasn't available. Actually, no one was available at the moment. Yoongi had been called in for the late night shift at his delivery job. Hobi was out with friends and claimed he had no intention of being back before the sun was up. Even Jin and Jungkook had both individually headed home for the weekend; Jungkook, because he had a longer trip, had actually been allowed to leave the night before and skip practice for the day. I wasn't like he needed to be there anyway, he blew almost everyone else out of the water._

 _They had asked Taehyung what his plans for the semi-free weekend had been, but he realized he didn't have any. There wasn't any money for him to travel home and he didn't even bring up the idea to his mother for fear that she would try to produce said money out of thin air. He had momentarily considered hitting up some of his friends from school, but he really only liked them enough to hang out with them when he was desperate, as awful as that sounds._

 _So instead, he had settled in for the evening with his sad stack of homework and had promised himself that he would finish all of it before turning on the latest drama he was obsessed with. The kitchy anime currently playing on the television didn't count as a distraction as he had only turned it on in an effort to drown out the deafening silence left behind by the missing other boys._

 _Taehyung had just decided to give himself a phone break from his work when it buzzed its way across the small, uneven table. He figured it was just an app notification, but anything was a welcome distraction so he lurched forward to see what it was. To his surprise it was a text message. From Doyun. His breathing hitched as he slid his thumb across the screen and opened the messaging app._

 _ **Doyun:**_ _hey_

 _ **Doyun:**_ _wht r u up 2?_

 _Taehyung thought about not answering. He could wait until the morning to answer, tell the older boy that he had either gone to bed early (which would seem pretty lame but whatever) or that he had just been so busy with friends and partying that he didn't check his phone. The second option seemed even more lame since it wasn't true and he was currently sitting cross legged on a dining room chair in his Charmander pajama pants in an empty apartment._

 _Another message buzzed in before he could overthink things too much, which was probably a saving grace._

 _ **Doyun:**_ _im home by myself and im bored_

 _ **Doyun:**_ _thot u might want some panda express?_

 _ **Doyun:**_ _my treat_

 _And that's how Taehyung found himself thirty minutes later, sliding into the passenger seat of Doyun's car once again. He was hit with that same masculine sweet smell that he was getting used to and found himself settling into the seat comfortably. He hadn't had many interactions with Doyun since the car ride to the studio those few weeks ago; mostly just small pleasantries as they passed each other by._

 _But once again, being trapped in a car with the older boy set Taehyung's nerves off and he found himself wracking his brain for something to break the silence of the car ride. "Oh, are these seats like- warming themselves up?"_

 _It was an embarrassing thing to ask, and would have been especially mortifying if Doyun's answer had been no, but luckily he chuckled to himself and nodded. "Yeah, if it's frying your ass you can turn it down." He motioned to the knob on the dashboard of the car._

 _Taehyung blushed at the comment and kept his hands far away from the knob. He hadn't meant to, but it now occurred to him that he had essentially let Doyun know he had never been in a car nice enough to have seat warmers. He had never been particularly embarrassed of his family's financial status before, even when Minjun's family was so much more wealthy, but something about being in Seoul made him feel like a small town hick everywhere he went._

 _One day, when Jin had drug him along to buy groceries for the apartment, Taehyung had openly gawked at the prices displayed on some of the shelves. Jin had looked at him like he was new to the planet rather than new to the city. "These aren't that outrageous, Tae. Where do you guys normally get your groceries at home?" He had mumbled something about producing a lot of their own vegetables and fruit in their garden and their fields before moving the conversation along to something else._

 _What would it be like to walk into a store and not have the calculator on his phone out just to make sure they didn't overdraw the checking account with this one transaction? What would it be like to have the money to buy a car that had separate seat warmers that were really only necessary one season of the year?_

" _Your car is really nice." Taehyung blurted out. Word vomit was a disease that he sometimes found himself afflicted by. "I meant to tell you that- the last time I was in here."_

 _He saw Doyun visibly stiffen. The older boy was staring straight ahead despite the slight lull a red light was providing. His eyebrows had pulled down his forehead at the mention of the last time. "Oh, that's okay. Thanks, I guess. It's not really mine. I didn't- like buy it. Not with my salary at Big Hit." He tried to chuckle but it sounded empty and flat. "My parents gave it to me for graduating high school."_

 _Taehyung nodded like this was completely normal, though maybe it was normal to people like Doyun. "Do you-"_

" _I'm really sorry." Doyun had cut him off in a rush, his eyes flicking to meet Taehyung's once before returning to the road. "For that time I drove you to practice. I shouldn't have touched you. I had no right and I had no idea it'd make you so uncomfortable."_

 _The younger boy didn't say anything for a minute. He picked at the skin of his thumb and gnawed on his bottom lip. Had he been uncomfortable? Yes, although probably not in the way Doyun was implying. What was more embarrassing to admit? That he had overreacted and it meant nothing? Or that it meant so much, shook certain things inside of him so severely, that he had had to react that way. He wasn't sure._

" _To be honest, I'm surprised you even answered my texts tonight. I thought you were avoiding being alone with me." Doyun mumbled, mostly to himself._

 _Taehyung shook his head. "No, I wasn't avoiding you. I just- Didn't know what to say. It was my overreaction. I'm normally not bothered by physical contact. I-" He shook his head again. "Must have just been having a standoffish day or something. It wasn't a big deal."_

 _It had been a big deal. That was obvious to the both of them. But Taehyung hoped that Doyun didn't quite understand why it had been so shocking. He prayed that the older boy couldn't logic out that the thumping of his heart was completely foreign to him and had never been produced by the kind of person it was supposed to: a girl. There was no way he could know, when Tae only allowed himself to fully produce the thought late at night when darkness could hide his shame._

 _All of a sudden, they were pulling into the Panda Express parking lot and Doyun slid them into a seemingly too small parking spot. They both sat there for a moment, with the car running and the heater blowing until Taehyung saw Doyun put a hand on his door handle to get out._

" _I think- it felt different, because it was different. I meant it differently than I probably should have." And then he was gone. Out of the car and almost across the parking lot by the time Tae could even bring himself to unbuckle his seatbelt. He stumbled out of the car, noticing that his sneakers were untied but not willing to stop to tie them._

 _He found Doyun inside, standing behind a group of college students who were talking and laughing too loudly to have been perfectly sober. Taehyung shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket and slid into line behind the older boy. He tried not to notice how underdressed he was compared to Doyun, who had actually bothered to throw on a leather jacket and skinny jeans for a late night food run. Taehyung had only changed out of the Charmander pajamas at the last moment because they weren't exactly clean._

 _They stood together in silence, waiting on the group in front of them to order. Neither of them bothered to pull out their phones; it would have all been for show anyway. Finally, the group moved and Doyun slid up to the counter. The girl working the register smiled confidently at Doyun, her eyes raking up and down his body as he looked up at the menu._

" _What can I get you, sir?"_

" _Hmm- I'm not sure. Taehyung," The older boy asked nonchalantly over his shoulder. "What are you getting?"_

 _This spurred the girl to finally glance at Taehyung. He tried not to notice the way her eyes flicked between himself and Doyun as if she was trying to figure out what they were doing together. He knew he didn't look like he belonged anywhere near the older boy. Clearing his throat, Taehyung said, "Probably just Broccoli and Beef and noodles."_

" _Perfect! Two orders of that please." Doyun was already pulling out his wallet to pay for both of their meals and had shushed Tae before he had even really had an opportunity to complain. The two of them waited for their food before shuffling to find seating in the basically empty restaurant. They found a small, decently secluded booth near a storage closet and as far away from the now loudly disruptive college kids. Taehyung only waited long enough for Doyun to take the first bite before he was tearing into his own food._

" _Are you that hungry?" Doyun chuckled at him. Taehyung tried to focus on his food and not on the way the older boy's long fingers held the chopsticks. He had never thought he was one of those cardiovascular freaks, but the veins in Doyun's hands were causing small flutters to erupt in Taehyung's gut._

 _He pulled his eyes up to Doyun's. "Yeah, I am I guess. I'm sorry." He sat his chopsticks down in an attempt to slow himself down, but the bowl in front of him was already half empty. "All this dancing- it's probably the most active I've been in my entire life. So I eat so much all the time… I feel like Jungkook."_

 _He tried to hide the way mentioning his fellow member soured his mood. The last month had been more of the same ups and downs with Jungkook. One minute they're cordial, if not happy and joking around; but then the stormcloud reappears and the maknae slips back into his turtle shell where he stays for days. The only one really able to pull him out of it is Namjoon, something that Taehyung had been taking way more personally than he probably should. He had fully expected to be friends with Jungkook; wanted desperately to be friends with him, but the other boy just wasn't allowing that to happen._

 _As if he could sense the tension, Doyun raised an eyebrow. "How are things going with Jungkook? With everyone, I guess, now that you've been here for a few weeks. I know some groups have a harder time connecting with each other."_

" _Oh. It's been fine actually. I like everyone; we get along and everything." Tae could tell that Doyun had observed some sort of conflict, but refused to elaborate on it. "Mostly I just feel bad that I'm bringing the group down, you know?"_

" _I don't think you're bringing the group down, Taehyung. I think you just- haven't found your niche yet."_

" _Well whatever my niche is, it's clearly not dancing." Tae tried to make it a joke but it mostly fell into flat bitterness. "I'm trying to improve, but it's just not getting any better."_

 _Doyun nodded, not necessarily in agreement but as though he understood. It was nice, talking to someone who knew the situation already without having to explain how he was failing at the thing he left home to do. "Just keep going, Tae. Something's gotta give. You've got- something. You deserve to be here."_

 _It seemed to happen in slow motion. Doyun reaching out to find Taehyung's hand that rested on the table in front of them; Doyun's fingers threading through his with an unsettling intimacy that he had never felt before. The action was confident, but the look in the older boy's eyes was questioning, like he was feeling out the situation to determine if he should pull away. Tae found himself squeezing their interlocked fingers without giving himself permission to. And though for most people it would have been a tiny, mundane action, it broke something open inside of Taehyung that he had thought was locked pretty securely away._

 _And of course, it was at that moment that the girl from behind the counter came sidling up to their booth to let them know the store was about to close. Taehyung yanked his hand away and buried it in his hoodie pocket. But by the slightly bewildered look on her face and the way she lingered at their table for a few seconds too long, he could tell she had seen. And he didn't know how much he had actually minded her seeing._

 _Doyun had taken him home that night and nothing more of note was really said or done, but Taehyung still felt as if he floated into the apartment. Hell, he pretty much floated around on a cloud until the others returned home the next day._

So now, with his mind back on the handsome man in front of him, Tae tried to mentally stuff the butterflies inside of him back down before they could erupt out of this throat. Doyun was still waiting for his response to the question, "Can we talk?" and for once, Taehyung was genuine when he said, "Sure, hyung."

He thought that Doyun would pull him from the room to find a place more private to talk, but he didn't, instead settling against the wall of mirrors behind them. There weren't many people left in the studio, but the other members were milling around before their walk back to the apartment. He tried to ignore the guilty pang that rocketed through his body when he saw Jungkook watching them from behind his bangs across the room. This didn't seem like a good place to hear Doyun's confession and he opened his mouth to ask if they could go outside when Doyun cut him off.

"I just wanted to warn you about the auditions happening this weekend." That- wasn't exactly what Taehyung had been expecting to hear. He prayed that Doyun couldn't see the shock that crossed his face; he hoped that the disappointment he felt hadn't come bubbling to the surface of his face as well. But the older boy was looking at the ground with his eyebrows pulled together in frustration and didn't seem to notice anything.

"Oh. Okay. Well, thanks hyung. I had heard they were looking for a seventh person so I guess it's good that things are moving along." He tried to smile, but those butterflies from before had turned into moths that were reeking havoc on his lower intestine. He felt stupid for expecting anything more from Doyun, particularly a confession. Maybe he really had read into the situation more than he probably should have. There were no real indications that the producer was gay, so why would that have been the conclusion he jumped to in the first place?

 _Because he held my hand._ But Taehyung shoved that thought down before tears could well up in his eyes for absolutely no reason. It clearly didn't mean what he thought-

"No, Taehyung. They aren't looking for a seventh member." Doyun's brown eyes finally slid up to meet his, pain shining brightly within them. "They're looking for a new sixth one."

* * *

Jungkook saw the moment as it happened. He watched Taehyung and Doyun huddled together in some kind of tense conversation. He probably shouldn't have been watching, whatever they were talking about seemed to be private, but he couldn't help it. He had to know what was going on between the two of them, even if it was only speculation based on their body language. In particular, he wasn't super fond of the way Tae was leaning forward like he was eager to hear anything and everything Doyun could possibly say to him.

He was starting to really dislike the producer. But nothing prepared him for the moment when Doyun whispered something to Tae that literally knocked the brunette back a few feet. Jungkook watched as his hyung started shaking his head vigorously; he saw Doyun begin to say something else and reach forward for Tae's hand, but Tae was no longer there. He had turned on his heel and sprinted from the room before anyone had a chance to react.

There were a few beats of silence before Namjoon appeared in the doorway to the studio with a concerned look on his face. "Where did Tae-?" But his voice dropped off as he watched Jungkook cross the room in giant strides that he didn't give his feet permission to take.

He was suddenly in front of Doyun, standing so uncomfortably close that their noses were almost touching. He was taller than the producer, despite the age difference, and the realization caused a wave of stupid satisfaction to roll down his spine. He ignored it and growled beneath his breath, "What the fuck did you say to Taehyung?"

He fully expected to be scolded by the producer, or even his hyungs, who were now crowding around the altercation, but Doyun wasn't even really paying attention to the angry sixteen year old. He looked right past him, which only infuriated Jungkook more, and connected eyes with Namjoon. "I just thought he should know what they've been saying in the meetings. I didn't want him to be blindsided when they sent him home."

Understanding rippled through the group. Namjoon swallowed loudly and nodded his head, "While I appreciate you trying to help, Doyun, you really should have left it-"

Jungkook cut him off once again, not caring how rude and insubordinate he was being. "You fucking idiot." It was all he allowed himself to say, before he stepped back from Doyun, reaching down to grab both his own and Tae's backpacks from their spot against the wall. Tae had forgotten his on his way out the door. He was across the room and almost out the door when he turned back to see Hobi rubbing Doyun's shoulder comfortingly. It sent an even bigger wave of hot rage through his body. This asshole didn't need to be comforted, not after what he had done to Taehyung.

His voice was only loud enough to be heard because of how silent the room was. "Stay the fuck away from him."

* * *

"Go away, Kookie." Taehyung hiccuped through his sobs in the hopes that the younger boy would go away. He had caught up with him only a few blocks away from the studio as it was hard to see in the dark with tears filling your eyes. He felt like such an idiot, such a failure, that he couldn't bear the conversation he knew he was going to have to have with the other members right now. "I want to be alone."

Jungkook, who was loping along beside him down the abandoned streets toward the apartment, shook his head definitively. "Not going to happen."

Tae could hear the stubborness in Jungkook's voice and found he just didn't have the energy to argue right now so he just kept walking, trying to keep from stumbling over trash and cracks in the sidewalk. It only took a few near-falls for Jungkook to sigh and grab his hyung's hand, firmly pulling him along. That only increased Tae's sobbing, much to Jungkooks chagrin.

"Tae, come on, it's going to be okay. Please stop crying." To no one's surprise, that didn't help and Jungkook could feel the tears falling from the older boy's face splashing off of their clasped hands. He gulped and twined his fingers even more tightly between the other boy's long, pretty ones, tamping down the strange lump in his throat that arose out of the action. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Suddenly, he was being hugged. Taehyung's soft, fluffy hair was tickling his chin as the older boy, despite them being the same height, had ducked to press his cheek to Jungkook's chest. It probably looked awkward as hell, but there was no one around to see it and Jungkook really couldn't have cared less at that particular moment. He wrapped his arms around the older boy and held him for what probably was less than a minute but felt like an eternity.

One of the things he had learned over the past few months, living with the touchiest people on the planet, was that if someone needs a hug, always let them be the first to pull away. So he did. He waited until Tae's sobs had petered out and he had pulled back to stare so openly into Jungkook's eyes that he found himself immediately both uncomfortable and entranced. Tae wasn't exactly a pretty crier, but the aftereffects, of flushed cheeks and swollen lips that he had been biting to hold back his whimpers, were very pretty. Jungkook could feel himself blushing.

"Thanks for following me, Kookie. I just- I don't know what I'm going to do now. I can't go back home- Not after everything my family had to do to get me here." He sounded like he was going to begin sobbing all over again. Jungkook was desperate to stop that from happening.

"What if I tutored you?" He asked, searching Tae's eyes from some shred of hope left that this would work out. "Nothing is set in stone yet. What if you and I worked on your dancing and we got Namjoon to talk to Hitman Bang. If we convince him to let you stay through the trainee process, even if they bring in another person, we can help you improve in that time and get them to keep you on for debut."

But Taehyung was already shaking his head. "Doyun's told me before that they only wanted six members. They aren't going to go for seven, Kook, even if I magically got better." Silence fell for a few minutes before Taehyung growled under his breath and kicked his foot out to strike an empty coke can someone had left on the sidewalk. "I just don't fucking get it. Why did they bring me here if they didn't think I could do it. I'm no worse at dancing than I was in my audition."

Jungkook gnawed on his lip, uncomfortable with the sudden burst of anger Tae was experiencing. "I don't think your dancing is that bad-" He received a glare for that comment and quickly moved on. "We-we can fix this. I can- help you fix this. If you want me to."

"No."

"No?" Jungkook's eyes flew up to the older boy's face, surprised to find it set in a hard glare aimed at his feet. "What do you mean no?"

Taehyung shook his head slowly, gritting his teeth so hard together that they squeaked shrilly in his mouth. "I think- No, I know, I'm done with this." Bitterness dripped from his mouth like acid and his glare shifted up to meet Jungkook's bewildered gaze. "I don't want to be here anymore. And they don't want me here. I'm done trying."

That seemed rash and a bit melodramatic, but Jungkook could see that there was no hint of laughter in Taehyung's eyes. He was serious. He was giving up.

"But Tae-"

"No, Jungkook. I'm serious. I just don't give a shit anymore. About any of this. About the group. About the fucking producers. About Doyun…" His voice shook at the man's name and Jungkook tried to tamp down the jealousy that spread through his chest at the emotion Tae clearly felt for the older producer.

The sixteen year old could feel himself rising into panic. Tae couldn't be serious about just giving up and leaving. They needed him, even Big HIt didn't appreciate his worth, the members did. He did. He may not have been great at showing it, but he considered Tae to be family. They were all family.

Since the beginning, their particular idol situation had set them apart from other groups. They weren't a big company; actually, for all intents and purposes they were a company on the brink of failure. There was a desperation and a loneliness coursing through everyone involved: producers and members alike. They were family. Family's didn't break up.

"You can't just give up, Tae. We can work through this." Taehyung had begun walking towards the apartment again, but since he was no longer crying, his pace was much faster and harder for Jungkook to keep up with. "You can't just abandon us. And what about your family-"

The older boy swung around, his eyes spearing Jungkook with a venomous hatred. "Don't fucking talk about my family. It's none of your business." It had clearly struck a cord that Jungkook hadn't meant to press. The financial and emotional strain that had been placed on the Kims just to get Taehyung to Seoul had always been in the back of his mind. What had always been his greatest motivating factor was now a thick lump in his throat that he couldn't swallow past.

"Please, Tae." Jungkook whispered, reaching out to twine his fingers between the older boy's long, pretty ones. Taehyung looked down at where they were connected, too angry to be surprised at the odd moment of affection. He pulled his hand away, gently so as to not hurt the boy too badly.

"No, Jungkook. I'm really done. I'll stay until they kick me out. But I'm not going to embarrass myself by begging." With that, he turned and walked off the street and into the apartment building, leaving Jungkook behind in the cold. He hadn't even realized they had arrived home.

* * *

"Sir, Namjoon is here to see you."

Hitman Bang sat alone in his tiny, shoebox of an office, flipping through the latest idol news postings online. He glanced up when his assistant broke the silence he had been basking in and nodded his approval for her to send the band member in.

"Rap Monster! To what do I owe this pleasure?" He stood to accept the soft bow the lanky boy sent his way as he stepped into the office. He gestured for them both to sit down in the increasingly uncomfortable, mismatched seats that populated his office. "How is everything going downstairs?"

The boy just on the brink of manhood shifted uncomfortably in his chair, causing the faux leather to make unseemly noises. His eyebrows were pulled together severely across his forehead, a sight that Hitman Bang found only slightly troubling. "Well, sir, everything is- not great, to be honest. I know it's probably not my place to say but-"

"You can say anything to me, son. You're a very valuable asset to the team; keeping us in the loop only contributes to our effectiveness in keeping you boys happy."

"Well that's just it, sir… No one is happy right now because everyone knows you plan on dismissing Taehyung." He wasn't shy about this particular statement. In fact, he was surprisingly secure as he stared firmly into Hitman Bang's eyes. "I understand that it isn't our place to determine who is included during the debut, but morale is extremely low right now. You can't get rid of Taehyung. He belongs here just as much as the rest of us." Namjoon took a deep breath. "Sir."

That was certainly surprising. If he was honest with himself, Hitman Bang hadn't given much thought to how the other members would respond to the news about Taehyung. He had expected to have to explain the reasoning to Taehyung himself, maybe deal with some tears there, but he hadn't expected it to seep into the morale of the others. Regardless, for the good of the group, he needed to cut out the weeds.

"Well… I understand your point of view, son. But, I think we all have seen the progress that some of you are making and the lack of progress for Taehyung. Don't you think it would be cruel to keep him here, away from his family, when he doesn't really have a chance of being in the debut with the rest of you? I'm simply trying to spare him a world of hurt that would come with being even closer to the end when he's let go."

Namjoon was biting his lip, whether to keep himself from arguing or out of nervousness, he couldn't tell. It took a few beats before he was able to bring his thoughts together coherently. "I understand what you're saying."

Hitman Bang nodded and, thinking the conversation was over, began to turn back towards his computer. However, Namjoon was not finished in the slightest.

"But you're the one that brought him here. You saw his potential, which I know is still there, and you brought him to Seoul and inserted him into our lives. And now you can't just rip him out of the group." Namjoon was more sure of himself now; he was more convinced than ever that what he was saying was right. "We aren't like the other idol groups because this isn't like the other companies. The others may not know, but I do. We're your last chance. And whether you like it or not, we should get some sort of say as to how the group is formed.

"We- and I mean no disrespect to you, sir. The six of us are all we have. Our parents aren't here, and some of us are honestly too young to not have parents. If you kicked Taehyung out of the group it would be like putting a sibling up for adoption. I don't think you quite understand how important each one of us is to the unit, even outside of just the band." He took another deep breath and let his eyes rest firmly on Hitman Bang's. "I know this is just a job and just an idol group and just a paycheck to you, sir. But to us… it's our lives. And you would be massively disrupting the lives that we've carved out for ourselves."

In truth, Hitman Bang didn't quite get it. Other idol groups gained and lost members all the time in the pre-debut stage. It's almost exactly the purpose of pre-debut. No fans knew the solidified group list because the list was not solidified. And, as kind as it would be to allow just anyone to coast along in the band in order to spare their feelings, this was ultimately a business decision that was being made. But, he also understood how tenuous this group was to his success. They were his last chance in the business; would pissing them all off really benefit him in the long run?

As if Namjoon could hear his thoughts, he said. "I don't mean to make outrageous statements here, sir. But I don't think you'd be making any friends out of the members for doing this."

And did Hitman Bang really care? Should he care? It was his company, his group. They were employees that were expected to perform regardless of their feelings. That's what they had signed up for. But before he could decide on his own feelings, Namjoon continued on.

"I can tell you one thing for sure, sir. If you send Taehyung home, you won't be getting anything out of Jungkook for a long time."


End file.
